I need some reassurance...

So I am on my own today, as DH is at work and MIL is looking after the kids (bless her) and instead of enjoying my quiet time and relaxing in preparation for bub, I am starting to freak out a little about the impending birth. I have been having lots of tightenings in the last couple of days and plenty this morning and I feel like it's not far off and I am finding it really hard to get myself into the right headspace for labour. Maybe it's because I am on my own with no one to distract me...my mum was supposed to be here but she can't make it now and won't be at the birth like she was with the others, so I don't have her to keep me calm and reassure me. All I can think about is how painful it will be and how I won't be able to cope and what if bub is over 9lb like Matilda was, will I be able to push her out and maybe I should just get an epidural straight up so I don't have to worry about it....It's ridiculous, but I can't help it! Please help me stop all these negative thoughts! :redface:

:hug: I was really worried about a few things before I had DD. I think it's only natural to be a bit scared. You know what's going to happen but you also know how brilliant it is once bub is born so try to focus on those feelings more.

Instinct kicked in for me though once I knew I was in labour for real and I'm sure once you start then you will get on with the job ;)

:hug:

Hun you can do this, it is only natuarl to feel this way, when you are so close to birthing again...

you will know what you can do whne the time comes, you will also know how much you can handle, there is no shame in needing pain relef if you feel you need it...

enjoy your quite day as much as you can... :hug:

just remember that the pain we get is always worth the end result, when you get to hold your little bundle for the 1st time...

Try not to think about the size this baby could be because you know that she could be bigger, or she could also be smaller and labour is labour no matter what the size of the baby is. And if you got a 9lb8 baby out before then I'm sure that you would be able to get a bigger one out anyway. I think it must be something about 4th babies though because i was like that before my 4th baby was born and DH and I even had a big fight a few days before he was born too. It's especially worse if you know that this will be your last baby and you just want to do it *right* - whatever *right* is for you.

I'm sure that you will be fine and that you will embrace this babys birth and maybe a lot of what you are feeling is because you know your Mum can't be there for it and you are scared of how you will cope without her extra support because this is the first time you wont have her at your birth I would talk it over with your DH because if you're going from 2 support people to one he may need to step up a little bit to give you that extra bit of reassurance that your Mum would have given you had she been there. But I'm sure you will be fine!

Awwww Bon :hug: you will be fine - you can do this - you have done it before! Try not to think too much about it tho, easier said than done i know! go sit down with your feet up and watch the AFL Grand Final - hehehe

:hug: Try to take some deep breaths and tell yourself over and over that you can do it and everything is going to be ok. I would say that you are indeed close though cos I found the same thing happening to me as it got really close to having bubs. Remember, your body knows what it's doing, it's been there before and doesn't forget :)

It's so normal to worry about it... but helps if you consciously tell yourself to calm down, you've done it before, and close your eyes and visualise a positive birth, a relatively easy birth, a good outcome.

Breathe... breathe in and count to four while inhaling, then while exhaling try a longer count, like to 6 or 8 or even 10... this exercise slows your heart rate a little and invokes calm. I do this in labour too. Very helpful. Once you practice and get used to it, you can use this to calm yourself down very quickly.

For what it's worth I'm currently feeling lots of tightenings too, I've had my show, am feeling it's all going to happen soon, even though I'm only just 37 weeks. I have had a 9lb5oz baby too, but my 2nd birthing experience was much easier, smaller baby and quick labour, so I try to visualise that and not dwell on the tougher labouring experience!

trust your body's ability and try to relax in everything you do. You can always yell for an epi if and when you need it.

Good luck, hope it all goes smashingly well!

massive :hug: You will be okay hun. Its amazing how some time to oursleves never fails to get us to think about all the what ifs.

Try and concentrate on the fact that your body will know what to do. It will remember and it wont be long until you have your gorgeous bubba in your arms.

If you are feeling pain, remember that each contraction is one less until you meet your baby and try to work with it.

I remember just before I got to the pushing stage I went into flight mode and jsut wanted to escape which made it more difficult for myself. As soon as I realised that I had to work with my body it made it so much better.

I found that reading some birth stories on BB really helped me. I gained so much support from everyone on here and I remembered that.

:hug: Cant wait to see your BA :hug:

Thanks everyone, your encouragement really helps!

hj - the grand final did provide a good distraction lol

LOL thats good to hear! Hope your feeling much happier today!