What do you expect to pay for??

If your asked to be in a bridal party? Dress, Hair, Make up, jewellery, lingere to go with the dress? Do you still give a gift on top of this???
I'm curious to know as one of my bridesmaids is cranky because i paid for her hair, make up and jewellery for my wedding. I did this because I felt like I should do it. I didn't expect any gifts, however she and her DF chose to give something.

Did I do things the wrong way? I don't want her to pay anything now if i have done...just curious to know.. should they have paid for all this?

I know alot of people expect their bridal party to pay for at least some things.

Personally, I chose to pay for everything for my bridesmaids and the groomsmen including suit hire, dresses, makeup and hair. My bridesmaids already had shoes and jewellery they could wear so neither of us had to buy that. One of my bridesmaids still bought us a present and my other bridesmaid (my sister mind you) didn't get us anything (not even a card!). The best man also bought us a present. Even my mum and dad didn't buy us a present (a whole other vent!).

I don't think you've done anything the wrong way. If I was asked to be a bridesmaid, I would assume that I would need to pay for my outfit, hair and makeup unless the bride said otherwise. And yes I would still get a present even if it was just something small.

My BM's paid for their outfits and shoes. I paid for hair and make up and bought their accessories and a gift.

There are so many ways people do it these days I don't think there is a hard and fast rule. DH and I haven't had a formal wedding yet but if/when we do I would pay for the dresses/make-up/hair etc. Maybe ask the bridesmaids to buy their shoes and pay for any little extras like a spray tan etc. On top of that I would give each bridesmaid a small gift of thanks. In return I would expect them to do a proper job of actually helping me to organise the whole thing!!! I hear so many stories of bridesmaids just kinda going along for the ride and being too busy to help the bride look at reception halls/book flowers/ organise the cake etc.

I also wouldn't expect them to buy me a wedding gift. If they did that would be up to them... it wouldn't be expected.

It is up to you. I think it is not automatically assumed that the bridesmaid will cover their own dresses etc as the bride often chooses the outfit and the costs can run high. I gave my bridesmaids dress material and some money to get the dress made but in the end they paid a little bit too. I also paid for their makeup etc. I think especially if you want everything to be 'just so' ie you want them to wear specific lingerie then getting them to pay is a bit much. Not sure why she is cranky that you paid? I understand if she feels a little uncomfortable but is she actually angry?

My Bridesmaids didn't buy me a wedding gift and I didn't expect them to either. I figured them being a part of my wedding and paying for their outfits was enough.

My 3 bridesmaids all paid for there dresses, shoes, hair and make up. I bought then jewlerry for the day as a gift.

All groomsman paid for own suit hire and we gave them cufflinks as a gift and to wear on day.

I have so far been bridesmaid 3 times abd have always paid for everything myself and for 2 was given jewlerry to wear as gift. DH been in 2 weddings and paid own hire of suit, at 1 they were give ties to wear on day.

I am bridesmaid in march for brother and SIL to be and paid for own dress etc and will be paying for hair and make up and she has bought jewlerry and hair clips for all.

All my bridesmaids paid for was thier dress and thier shoes. I paid everything else, but per my other thread had a bridesmaid that didn't agree with me paying everything else. So was curious to see what other people though.

I don't think I could afford to be a bridesmaid! Especially if my bride told me I had to pay several hundred dollars for my dress that I might not wear again.

Do bridesmaids actually help organise the wedding these days or that that notion a bit old fashioned?

Bath, my bridesmaids organised my hens party and of course helped me get ready on the day and helped organise people for photos, etc, etc. I did everything else myself or with the help of DH. I figured it was our big day so all the stuff like cakes, decorations, reception venue etc was our decision as a couple.

i paid for the dresses & hotel they paid for there hair :) i didnt espect anything from them.

i brought my maid of honour a charm for her panadora bracelet because i was greatful for everything she done and she is also my DS god mother

I don't think you did it the wrong way.. I would pay for my bridesmaids stuff if I had bridesmaids (I didn't have any hehe).

Perhaps the ones that get cranky with things being paid for by the bride don't like the precedent being set because they don't want to have to pay for their bridesmaids in the future? haha.

Bathesda out of my 3 bridesmaids 2 came looking at wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses. 1 even came and picked up my dress and took it home to care for for me so that DH didnt see it.

My matron of honour had a 9 month old baby at my wedding but even when he was little she still came to help with thinsg when i needed unlike my other slack one who did nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 2 helpful ones organised hens nights with tiny amount of help from other one (lucky i had told plenty of people details in advance as she took till 5 days before hens night to ring and invite people))

She didnt even see my dress till the day as it was too much effort for her to come down 3 or 4 levels in building to where bridal shop was!!!!!!!

The ones i have been in have helped a bit with 1 (girl who took my dress home for me) with what ever she needed me to do.

Another non of us helped at all as we all lived a very long way from each other!!! so with dresses it was actually skirt and top. We alll bought skirt from shop she told us too and she has tops that we were paying her back for and was massive luck they all fitted on day!!

Other did a fair bit to help there also.

well my bms paid for the dress and shoes done there own makeup and had their hair and jewellery paid for one was my sis and the other my brothers ex both under 18 and both managed the boys had their suits paid for by MIL

I had one MOH - I paid for dress, hair, make-up, bought jewellery as pressie as well as bouquet etc. She paid for own shoes (Myer sale). And she flew down from Sydney twice before the wedding and then the wedding to help etc. She was a star on the day, looking after me when i got stressed, carrying bouquets and dresses, heading off disgruntled SIL :) I figured, if I was asking her to do this (especially knowing how financially strapped she was), then it was up to me to pay for it.

When I was a BM I apid for my own dress shoes and hair. As it was a good friend I didn't mind too much but all the costs did eventually add up and we struggled a bit afterwards (wedding was also interstate).
I think everyone and everything is different.
If I do ever get married I would get my BM to pay for their own dresses but at same time I'd also tell them to pick what they wanted themselves so can wear again.

The plan was I would pay for the bridesmaids dresses - until they we stuffed up by the dress maker the weekend before the wedding (we palnned the wedding in 5 weeks, so no time left for more dresses) and we went shopping. The dressmaker refused to refund my money so had none left. The girls bought their own bridesmaid dresses, cost $180 each from Myer (BARGAIN!! lol)

My sis, one of the BMs did their hair.

I paid for their makeup ($85 each) There were 3 BMs

I bought their jewellery as part of their BM gifts.

They also bought their own shoes for the dresses because they liked them adn can wear them again with the dresses, they were $100 each.

None of the BMs got me presents, except for my sister, who helped buy my wedding dress as the present :) But the other 2 were not in a financial position to and I didnt expect them too.

WRT to lingerie - they required strapless bras, which they all had anyway, but no, I would not have bought lingerie for them anyway!! - just like I didnt by them matching handbags! lol

I think your BM should be grateful you paid for everything!

I might be dumb....but she's cross cos you paid????? Far out...ever heard of gratitude?
Congratulations Jen. Hope you had a lovely day anyway :hug: