Sleep help needed for almost 3 year old

I was wondering if I could get some tips on helping my almost 3 yr DD to sleep through the night. She goes to bed at 8.30 and I lie down with her on her bed and cuddle her until she's gone and then sneak out of the room. She wakes up at around 12 or 1 and I jump in bed with her (2 of us in a single bed, eek!) and we both sleep soundly until 6.30.

She's almost 3 and I'd really like to experience sleeping all night in my own bed with DH. Also, I don't think that she's waking "naturally" at 6.30, she wakes because I'm in bed with her and so she can be a bit ratty in the mornings. I've been waiting for this phase to end, but after 6 months I'm losing hope.

I know all about controlled crying and other than a trip to sleep school when she was 5 months old, I've been reluctant to take this path with my daughter. Personally, I don't think I could do CC with her now (emotionally I think I'd snap, behaviourally, I don't think DD would cope well at all, physically the sleep deprivation involved of battling for hours in the middle of the night etc).

I'm happy to be a bit firm with her though (ie. am open to a little bit of crying) but have no idea what approach to take. Can someone whose been through this with a 2 or 3 year old give me some advice on what worked for them?

Clarrie - it is hard work! Our 3.5yr old has been a sleeping challenge forever...so I don't really have too much to suggest. We tried cc when she was 2.5 - it was awful and only upset everyone, I was at my wits end and listened to others advice when I should have trusted my own instincts. It was truly horrific and I wish I had not gone there as it only made things worse for us. In the end I sat in her room reading a book and refused to talk/acknowledge her - she was v clingy and just wanted me there in bed too. I gradually managed to work my way out of the room and the interval got quicker for her to fall asleep. A bit of a pain at first but much less stressful - other ideas we employed was a book made for her by her wonderful auntie explaining that mum and dad needed lots of energy to play with her and that we were only in our room sleeping....that seemed to work for a bit too. She still wakes up at night screaming until I go into her and I have taken to bribing her to sleep through - so currently she is 2 nights into a weeks stretch to get a pink fairy wand she is keen on. So we have a chart and cross of days - it has given her extra incentive to sleep through it would seem, I am not particularly proud of this however I am in desperate need of more than 3 hour broken sleep. Good luck it is really hard - she also wont cosleep - she'll stay up and chat!!! Hope you have more luck than we have had!