Best Friends Wedding - whinge #1

I am very honoured to have been chosen as a bridesmaid for my best friend's wedding and am so thrilled that she's getting married to a lovely bloke. It's going to be a fantastic day and they'll be a lovely couple in the future.

However, a couple of things are getting to me (and DH too). The first being the number of events we are having to have for this wedding.

So far I've been to four bridesmaids dress fittings and there are still 2 more. There is so little done between each, I really don't know why we keep having to go to these. I do keep comparing all of this to my wedding, which I probably shouldn't do, but for my bridesmaids we had 2 or possibly 3 dress fittings to get the whole thing done.

On top of that, DH, DD and I are going to a lunch for all of the bridal party to meet- once again lovely idea, and I don't really have a problem with it, apart from the number of opportunities we'll have to meet people with all the rest of the events coming up.

We have also been invited to a cellar party for the bride and groom, but have decided not to attend, as it is on our wedding anniversary.

There is also a hens night, which is fine. The organising of this is taking a bit of time - meeting with bridesmaids, etc. But that is all expected when you are a bridesmaid.

We then have a wedding rehearsal, fine again.

Then the wedding (yay!).

Then the day after the wedding, a wedding lunch to reminisce (?) about the wedding day. The invitation for this has been included in the wedding invitation.

Thinking back, we did have people (wedding party and close family) back to my parents house the next day to open presents, but it was a very casual invitation without expectation that people be there.

Maybe this isn't too much, I don't know? What do you think? Am I being rude by missing the cellar party and possibly more of the festivities? There are 5 bridesmaids, so there'll be plenty of people there.

I think a lot of brides go too far - or maybe I was a neglectful bride.

How do you have five girls you love enough to be bridesmaids who don't already know each other?

I had two bridesmaids and one usher - one bridesmaid and the usher met the best man on the wedding day. My sister (chief bridesmaid) met him two days before. My hen night - neither of my bridesmaids organised nor attended. If I'd had three or four parties for just the wedding party I'd have been told off!

You're not a bad person for not attending. You have a good reason at least! Good luck.

(Actually, I want a remeniscing lunch - going to try to get DH to agree to vow renewing for our 10th anniversary and get the gang back together for that. With their spouses and children too. Just us and the four attendants and their families... will be fun!)

Hmmm.. i think thats allot, but thats just me.

The wedding party lunch and the cellar party (not even sure what that is) seem a bit much but everything else sounds normal. 6 dress fittings seems like a lot too. I've been in a few weddings and we only had 2 fittings.

We had a big (daytime) party the day after our wedding which was really nice for out of town guests.

I wouldn't be attending the cellar party either if it was on my anniversary. So, no I don't think you're being rude at all.

I didn't organise anything for my bridal party to meet each other beforehand. I only had 2 bridesmaids, one of them being my sister. She and the other bridesmaid met when we first went looking for dresses. I gave them each others contact details and they liaised with each other about all the other stuff. DH's brother was the best man. We didn't have any groomsmen.

I think some brides go all out and that is fine, it's their wedding, but like any other invitation you have the right to decline if you don't want to go. Don't feel bad about it. Like you say, there will be plenty of other people there.

wow I must have been slack bride!!!

My 3 girls tryed on dressers seperatly and ordered them and I picked them all up and they got altered where they wanted if needed.

Hens night 2 of my 3 were good enought to have lots of in put in (I organised a lot of it as I knew where I wanted etc)

we had no rehersal dinner.

The matron of honour, bridesmaids had all met before, and the best man and groomsman were all great friends anyway.

So dont feel bad at not going to everything especially as anniversary!

my fiancee is south african and my father lives in perth. my father is meeting my dp 2 days before we tie the knot lol and ill meet his family from south africa about 2 weeks before the wedding.
i have 1 bridesmaid (my sister) and dp has his cousin being best man. thats it! both my mum and dad will give me away and the ceremony and reception are at the same location. we r NOT having anything fancy like ur friend. i think its a bit over the top actually. i dont blaim u actually for not going to alot of her parties, id rather spend the extra money on a house

Its a little over the top, if thats how weddings are "supposed" to be then im glad im eloping! and no way should you feel bad for missing the celar party, your wedding anniversary is really important!

It does seem a bit extravagant but you have to remember that the bride and groom only get married once (hopefully) and it should be a special occasion. On the other hand I really think i'd be p*ssed off with how much time of mine it's taking up......

Best of luck with the teeth grinding

Sounds pretty extravagant to me! Hell, I don't even know what a Cellar party IS! I wouldn't attend either if it was my wedding anniversary....not that I'd even use that as an excuse.

Obviously your best friend is very excited about getting married and wants to share as much of all of it with as many people as she can. That's OK I guess, each to their own. I guess being there with her at the important bits is what should really count to her in the end :)

Jeeeez, a wedding lunch after the wedding? What happened to the newly married couple vanishing for a few days/weeks the day after their wedding for some sexy-fun time together? XD

For bridemaids fittings we had 1, that was to measure them... the lady made up the dresses and I picked them up the week before the wedding. Gave them to the girls who tried them on 2 days before the wedding... luckily they fitting!

Hens night, both my bridemaids couldn't make it! Which was fine, I was 6 months pregnant and not really in for a huge night anyway...

I guess though, each to their own. Everyone has a different wedding day and wants to celebrate it in a different way and share/remember different things... it's just unfortunate for those of us who are not the bride/groom! I would be a bit peeved too, but just keep in mind that it will all be over eventually ;)