please help - sleep deprived.

Hi,
I'm after a bit of help.
My 20 month old DD is sleeping in a toddler bed, she wouldn't sleep through the night in a cot so we moved her to a toddler bed.
She slept well for a few days then she kept waking up for her dummy so we decided to take the dummy off her, she was fine with that, then she started to wake again and breaking wind a lot, so we took her off her milk. That worked well to.
but it's happening all over again.
She isn't sleeping through the night and I really need help. As DH is a dairy farmer he needs his sleep so he often sleeps in the guest room at the other end of the house so he doesn't hear DD. That means I'm alone in this process.
DD will go to bed at 7:30 (has been a little bit later due to day light savings) and DH or I will read her a story, lights out, door closed and she used to sleep - not anymore. As soon as the book is finished she tries to get out of bed or just sits up, watching us leave the room. She then makes her way over to the door and bangs on it crying and waiting for one of us to put her back.
For the past few days I have been sitting with her as she is drifting off to sleep and that is working well, but she then wakes at 11-12ish, crying and standing at the door, I will then go and put her back in, which will sometimes last 5 mins to 2 hours, then it happens all over again.
last night she woke at 1 and I put her back to bed 7 or 8 times within 45 mins and in the end I felt like I couldn't go back to bed so I sat on the couch with her, she stayed awake until 4:45 then feel asleep on me.
I am really scared of what will happen tonight as I have had hardly any sleep today. I'm seeking your help desperately with any methods you have to get DD to stay in her bed all night.
thank you

Im sorry I dont have any advice as my DD is much younger than yours, just wanted to say welcome to BB. Ive posted a bunch of times with my own DD's sleep issues and I have no doubt you will get lots of great advice from members with more experience than me. :)

Can you put her back in her cot? I had DD1 in a cot until almost 4, it was the best thing ever. DD2 came out of cot at almost 3 as she climbed out, and we've pretty much had trouble ever since. I just love cots and hope my DS will stay in one!! Other than that I dont really know what to say other than I hope she starts to sleep better for you. I too am totally sleep deprived and can sympathise... xoxoxo

do you have a child gate? I would put that at her door and leave the door open. I know my kids are a little scared when it is completely dark. Or maybe a night light or music box type thing..

My DD wasn't always sleeping all night so I have just put her in toddler bed and she is doing pretty good,

I hope you get some sleep soon

I was thinking baby gate as well. THat way she can't leave the room, but is not "shut in."
Will she sleep if you let her sleep in bed with you?
Good luck.

Have you had a look at the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers? That may be of help to you with developing some strategies.

Another thing is to continue looking at foods. Fed up with food additives is a good place to start. I found with my DD1 that yellow food colouring in things like yoghurts and icecreams was a trigger for her.

Are you using any music? Sometimes a bit of sleep music going in the background can be quite helpful to get them off to sleep and keep them there. Peace Baby is a good one, but any music they like can work. It was amazing what mine sleep to, even now my eldest likes to go to sleep with Abba in the background.

Thank you all for your helpful hints.
I just read sleep sense, but it doesn't have anything in there about what to do when your child gets up and cries and bangs on the door in the middle of the night. DD is really good and going to sleep now, I don't hear a peep out of her, it's just in the middle of the night where she wakes up.
DH isn't to keen on the whole night light thing as he thinks that she will become scared of the dark if we introduce it. I would love to leave the door open but once again DH won that battle. And as for music, my house has to be completly dark and quiet for DH to get to sleep, so thats a no go.
When she sleeps with me she will wake for a second, give a cry until I say "it's ok, mummy's here, go back to sleep." and she will do just that. she will do wake a few times during the night.
DH and I have decided it's best to take her to see and Dr, just in case something is wrong. her appointment is tomorrow so I will let you know how things go.

Honestly she sounds very normal to me! My son has been through similar behaviours at different times.

I don't understand why she must have to door shut. Imagine yourself as a little girl. In a room all alone in the dark with the door shut...... of course she is going to bang on the door and cry. She is 'shut in' The night light thing - it sounds like she is already scared of the dark. And who cares if it means that she has a night light. I own a paortable battery operated disney light that we use when we stay somewhere else. owrks great, as DS can see in his room and knows where he is.

I understand that DH needs his sleep, but with some very simple things she may begin to sleep better.

Good luck.

I was wondering about the door being closed as well. Realised that we don't close the door for DD1, well not unless she asks for it to be. Would your DH be willing to trial a week with the door open and a night light? Hopefully your GP suggests it for you.

Anyway best of luck with your appt. Hoping her waking improves for you.

I have the gate at DD's door and we always turn a night light on for her too. We close her door when she first goes to sleep, then I open it once I go to bed. We do this mainly because we have a fairly 'loud' household lol - but once she has been asleep for 2 -3 hrs she's 'out' for the night IYKWIM.
We've never had a problem with her getting out of bed - unless its about 0730 hours lol...

One night I forgot to turn on her night light and an hour later she woke up with what sounded like a night terror (according to a book). I'll never forget to do that again!

Hi Farmer's Wife,

I just wanted to support you and give you a :hug: . Sometimes I think Dads think they know better than they really do! Sometimes they just have to give in to Mums' superior intincts when it comes to babies & kids as their primary carers. Not to belittle Dads' VERY important input into raising children, but I just wish they would pick their battles. I really hope you get to try out having the door open & a night light and see how it goes.

I hope you get some sleep! :hug:

My little girl sleeps better with a night light as well. We transferred her to her cot a few weeks ago and it was a nightmare because I didn't think about lighting. When that was fixed she slept straight through. She still sometimes wake (in the evening before her deep sleep) but goes back to sleep if her music is still on.

When she was still sharing our room, we put on the light which was very unusual for us and it took us a few nights to adjust to the light but eventually it was o.k. I think as adults we must learn to adjust to fit with the kids more.. anyway that is my 2 cents worth of input

Dr update:
My dr has refered me to a paediatrician as when he called him asking for advice the paed said that he would like us to see him.
He thinks that DD is stuck in her baby routine from waking up to have feeds.
My appointment is on nov 2nd but in the mean time I have put a night light in her room (much to DH disgust) and we open her door slightly once she has fallen asleep.
The past 2 nights of this hasn't changed her routine a bit. she still wakes.

I would like to thank you all for your wonderful sugguestions

It may take a little while for any changes to take affect. It is better to stick to something for awhile, than to chop and change a lot, as that can just make it worse. So give the night light a few weeks to see what it does. Hoping you have a good paed. Some kids though still just wake, which I know does not help the situation, other than to know that you are not alone with the waking.

Where in sw Vic are you? (that is if you do not mind me asking)