Don't know what to do.................

DP and i will have been ttc for 5 years in january. our only pregnancy was a couple years ago and happened less than a week after getting BFP.We've had a motherload of tests, laparoscopys, tubes checked, and iui the results were some endometriosis, possibility of one blocked tube but was also told it may have been a muscle spasm from the coolness of dye and DP's semen analysis was slightly down from what it should be.FS reckons we should be able to fall preg on our own but its not happening.was on clomid for nearly a year also but wasnt ovulating.we have been told IVF is the only way its likely to happen.Back in june DP was going to change jobs because he wasnt happy where he was, he had his resignation written ready to hand in when he came back from holidays and we were going to use part of his long service payout to do IVF so i started making appointments etc and getting things organized to be able to start straight away.well he ended up not handing in his notice and is still working for them so i had to then cancel all the appointments etc.they promoted him november last year and are yet to give him the payrise for the position he is in now so there is nearly a year back pay they should owe him but he reckons they wont end up giving it to him.I'm not working at the moment due to my eldest daughters health issue's that mean specialists appointments and surgery etc so its not like i can say ok i'll organize to pay for IVF.I have 2 DD from a previous relationship (conceived oretty much as soon as started trying) but DP doesnt have any kids and says he wants a child of his own more than anything.Its all so emotionally draining,my last cycle af was three weeks late after being pretty regular for the last year so for nearly a month it was like could i be preg.i'm at point where im avoiding going anywhere where i know there is going to be babies and at present there are a bunch of family and friends pregnant and they just keep saying stuff like im over being pregnant or stuff like that and i just think they should be grateful that they are pregnant. earlier this week i told DP i was giving up on ttc that i couldnt keep feeling like this and that if ivf wasnt going to be getting done it was time to accept that its not going to happen.all i got from him was a sad face and that was about it.if its as important to him as he says you would think he'd fight for it to happen or at least try to discuss alternatives.im probably feeling even worse now since i made that decision.

So should i reconsider and just say to him if we are going to do this then we need to get started with ivf or should i just leave things as they are and see what happens once hes had time to let the fact ive given up on it to sink in.


Sorry everyone for my vent and complain but i needed to get it off my chest

Hi Trublue,
I just wanted to respond and send you a big cyber :grouphug:. I can't really help you with making this decision, it is such a personal thing and you really need to do what is best for you and DH. If you have even the slightest desire to have another child, then give IVF a good go, if DH is so keen, he needs to commit the time, $ and emotional support to making it happen. And you need to go into it knowing it may take some further time, and there will be the extreme ups and downs.

Wishing you all the best with which ever way you decide. xx

Hi I echo everything babydreamtime said. You need to sit down once and for all, and have a relaxed, frank conversation allowing each other to say everything you both need to. You've brought kids up, and sounds like the road's not smooth right now, so you'll know the importance of both of you needing to sing from the same hymm sheet. I wish you all the luck.

I agree with the others. I think you need to talk more, and as openly as possible. Things like this can develop into a big wedge between you. Wishing you all the best with your tough decision