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I think my DH is in shock at moment, very quiet, and a little withdrawn (but he did go to work today).
On his way to work yesterday morning, he witnessed a fatal accident where a man was hit by a truck on the motorway (so at speeds of 100km cannot imagine it was pretty).. As he was travelling in the opposite direction, he saw the full brunt of the accident.
If I did get him to go to the dr, what are they likely to do?
That has got to be a very distressing thing to witness. If you think it is actually shock I'd encourage him to go to his doctor. Shock is an actually physical reaction in the body and should be checked. Not sure what the doctor would do but hopefully someone could help with that question.
If he is just spending some time processing it (which is understandable) then perhaps wait a few days and see how he is going.
Just make yourself available to listen if and when he is ready to talk. Perhaps a good mate of his could check on him becuase often men are more likely to open up to a good mate over a few beers than to the wifey.
:comfort: for you and DH and RIP to the poor man who lost his life.
HTH
Spring.
yep he should go to the Dr and get referred to councilling, it would've been an awful thing to see, he is better to talk about it and get help then it get worse.
Oh crap what a thing to witness.
Get him to go to the doc asap honey :hug:
Much love and support being sent your way my friend - and to the family that just lost a loved one.
xxxxx
Oh, good heavens. That's terrible.
I agree, a trip to the drs. Even if it is just to talk about what happened and get an opinion. I don't know what physical things the dr would do, but best to see one anyway.
Are the police talking about it with him? They may have counseling services they could refer him to...
Thanks guys..
We have an appointment for DS's injections this week, so I will try and get him to say something then..
He is at work, and probably better there, with other things to keep him occupied, then come home for cuddles, LOL.
Snacks, think he would prefer to talk to our own doctor. There wasn't anything sus, The guy didn't look and stepped onto the road at the wrong time.
I really feel for that man's family and the truck driver and his family..
Oh dear, how awful :shakehead:
If you can get to a health food shop today, pick up some Rescue Remedy - it will help with the shock for SURE xoxoxo
If he wants to talk to someone earlier, before you can get to the doctors, you could try Lifeline 131114. they also have a website lifeline.org.au
take care
when I was in year 9 on th eway to school my mum sister and I witnessed a man walk straight into traffic and get hit by a truck he was in front of us so we had to pass the body to pull over
to this day I can still see it, I spoke to the councellor at school and was encouraged to talk about my feelings which I presume would be much the same for a adult
I hope you DH feels better soon, talking seriously is the best remedy dont lock it away
i have been on the other side of that before, my mother was hit by a car doing 100 on the free way crossing a pedestrian crossing, She was flown to hospital i remember all of this in great detail even tho i did not see here on the floor there it was still a shock and big impact. My little brother then 20ish found her on the road just moments after the hit as he heard the sounds and went running from home.
as for what drs will say talk to a specialist and if you show signs of withdrawal or depression go on anti depressants. I am happy to talk to you via pm if you want to ask me anything.
I really doubt anti depressants would be a necessary thing after one such incident. Anti's are best for a chemical imbalance and throwing pills around isn't always the answer
i do agree but when i saw dr due to shock this is what i was informed so mearly stating my experience lulu :):
I am sorry to hear what you are going through.
I would deffinatly get him to the dr. these thngs have a way of coming back later when you think you have delt with them. I am speaking from experience too...
Just make sure that you are always there to listen if he needs too Lifeline is actually really good for this sort of thing too.
It would be a fairly natural reaction to get a little quiet after a traumatic experience. Helping him talk it out and go over things (sometimes you need to do this quite a few times) is a good way to go.
If, after a few weeks he still doesn't feel right by all means go to a doctor. Give him a chance to work through this naturally - drugs would possibly interfere with his brain/body's natural reactions. It's one of the reasons a good dr won't always prescribe Valium for a grieving mother (for eg) because you need to naturally process the events.
Shock can affect people in various ways - it will greatly depend on the individual's own inner strength, coping mechanisms, and subconscious. In addition to experiencing shock, the person is (in situations such as these) also likely to experience a multitude of other emotions and feelings including grief (all 10 stages), guilt, and anger (seperate from the grieving process). It would be common for someone to withdraw almost immediately as they try to come to terms with what they have seen or experienced. Crying, lack of sleep, nightmares, loss of appetite, nausea are all very common symptoms or displays of behavior. Not always at the same time either and some can manifest immediately whilst others may not eventuate for months... and some may stay for months. Some people, when exposed to such horriffic incidents, can actually become hysterical, unable to be comforted, and cease to be able to function on a day to day basis. It can trigger Post Traumatic Stress Disorder AKA PTSD (a very real mental health condition which can require medication). In people that are unable to be comforted, brought down from hysteria, or who suffer acute episodes of PTSD, medication is a very common and acceptable method of helping them to cope. Whether it be mild sedation, sleeping tablets or something as minor as Oxygen Therapy. However, it is vital that these people receive counselling or other psychological therapy to assist them in processing this event and helping them to achieve effective coping strategies and mechanisms.
I would probably try to give your partner space but also let him know you are there to listen if he needs to talk. I would, however, be aware of your own coping mechanisms and strategies as well as your own limitations. If you are not someone who can cope wth graphic situations, you may not be the best person to provide that kind of support to him (no offence intended). I have cared for people who have had PTSD third party to an incident. Gently encourage your DH to seek professional counselling but don't push it too hard. Encourage him to write it down if that is his way of coping.
Your GP or local Community Health Centre can point you in the right direction for counselling in your area to help your DH process this situation. There is a group in Vic who offer free counselling for people who have witnessed these sorts of events (but I can't recall their name - sorry!). If you are in Vic, the TAC may be able to assist him with the fees for counselling as well.
Do give him time but don't let it drag on too long. I am aware of multiple studies which show that debriefing after critical incidents within the first 24hrs is detrimental to the recovery of individuals involved. 24-72 hours post event is the ideal time... but some people need a little longer before they are open to the idea of talking about it.
I am so sorry your DH is going through this - it will be a tough road ahead for both of you. But, with time, it will get easier. Continue to love and support each other.
Feel free to PM if you need anything.
MG :hug:
Thank you all so much. You have all given me things to watch out for and encourage him to get help if he goes out of the norm. MG you are right that I mightn't be the best person for him to relive the details (It has freaked me out enough when he told me he saw it after I mentioned hearing about it when I was going out), but when he unexpectedly lost his aunt few years back, he did talk to me about his feelings, without what actually happened, so I know he will talk to me..
I will keep an eye on him.. Tonight he was his normal self, but I know it could come and go before it really hits him (but he might also have an inner strength that will get him through it..)
I really appreciate the support.