looking for support ... my story isn't fiction i promise

I just spent half an hour writing and it timed out :( so I'll make this in dot point instead!

1. i am 28 yr old single mum
2. i have 7 year old son
3. i now work part time
4. my xp and i split 3 years ago after 7 years
5. he got gf in 6 months who had 3 kids and one in syd
6. he and gf had have triplets recently
7. they moved 1hr and 30 mins away from me
8. they announce new baby coming! (making 9 pos. in the house at 1 time)
9. I had kicked him out night he threatened to kill me and littleman
10. little man over me saying don't hurt my mummy that night
11. he left the house with a car i paid rego on leaving all his **** behind and moves in with my cousin. sees little man tues, thurs nights and every second sunday
12. i had wanted to leave and take littleman but he got to do what he wanted (epic)
13. relief he was gone, but had to pick up everything sort it out and organise
14. he makes bosses girl pregnant. has abortion she is 18 he 30.
15. i have breakdown, leave job of 4-5 years.
16. when new gf and he moved, we had 50 50 split.
17 when he moved to 1hr 30 mins away. I get weekdays he pick up fri sun night
18. I move back into parents house to help support me and little man - mentally and physically for both of us
19. littleman develops anger problem
20. Father doesn't help, i get little man into counselling, sports and group sessions
21. constant verbal, text and email abuse from them both gf and xp
22. try to have holiday, my bf pays for me to go to asia. I try to call littleman get abuse for such. have to pick littleman up after 25hour plane ride because i'm a bad mother
23. He controls everything i can do. cancel lots of plans after he picks him up as littleman screams for me and gets his way
23.5 littleman is bullied at school and i can nolonger afford private school. talk to ex. he does nothing, i move him to state school and enroll him in extracurriculars.
24. last week filed for DVO. sick of texts phone calls and verbal and social abuse.
25. trying to get sole custody. have compiled an 82 page report for this. waiting for legal aid
26. he calls today after receiving it and more intimidation. his timing impecable, having a rare week visit to bf for lunch.

Theres so much more to add but this is the dot point version. I'm over being controlled, manipulated and thinking im a bad person because he doesn't get what he wants (the xp)

he doesnt seem to give a fk that his son his developing very bad traits when he doesn't get his way and constantly hears his father abusing his mother. Sick of ex not considering what he does has an effect on littleman. He could have handled the multiple children births better by sitting littleman down first etc

i want to be with my bf and my son without having to organise everything for his father. I overcompensate for his bs with littleman and it's not fair.

im tired all the time and right now im so very low.

i wrote more the first time but i lost it all :(

just hoping to find some others who understand and to talk to for support.

my mum doesn't understand. she constantly thinks logically and puts herself in his shoes all the time.

what about mine!!

okay here come the tears

thanks for reading

oh honey you sound so tired!
:hug:

I haven;t been in your situation so have no idea how you are feeling, I'm sorry I have no advice for you.
I think you are doing the right thing going for custody though, your Littleman deserves a decent role model and your XP doesnt sound like much of a man.

I'm sure that you will find some love and support here on BB there are many very strong women here who have walked this path you are on, Im sure some will be along with some advice and comfort.

:hug: You are doing a fabulous job, keep going darl xoxox

I've been looking for others but its very hard because i'm still looked at like a young mum!

i just want to live my life, but between pleasing others, constantly thinking about things and then i want 5 minutes peace when i come home and poor littleman is attached to me like a puppy because he gets anxious when im not around.

thankyou for replying i appreciate it. i play hours of word finder games just so i can get to sleep.

Perhaps, Obi, have you thought of talking to your GP about what's going on with yourself and your DS?

It sounds like you are very stressed, and the situation with your XP is not helping. Your GP can refer you to some counselling which is covered by Medicare, and your son might also benefit from some counselling.

I really enjoyed counselling - it was an opportunity to get my story out, without being judged or commented upon, and have someone listen and make suggestions about how I could deal with the issues.

Welcome to BB and wishing you all the best.

just wanted to send you some big hugs and hope you manage to find a way for you and your littleman to be happier! Sounds like something has to give soon!! hugs

:grouphug:aww hunny you sound like through such a hard time hunny im so sorry your dealing with so much if you ever need anyone to talk to hunny im here babe
i agree with what the other ladies have suggested seeing your gp etc
Your doing AN AMAZING JOB dealing with all of this and being strong for your little boy hunny!!:hug:

ok first things first... xp and his gf have 8 children and one on the way? :o omg is all i can say. but in regards to what you can do, i agree with the other ladies and go see your gp or a counsellor.
good idea to go for sole custody, documentation is the best way to get things to go in your favor, and being the child's mother, whom lives in a stable loving home will also get you browny points. maybe you should try recording a few conversations with xp? that may give others an idea of what he is like towards you etc. is the current arrangments under court order or just privately agreed? if there is no court order you can stop allowing xp to take ds, claiming you're scared for you safety...?

I'm so sorry about what xp is putting you through, my heart sinks everytime i hear about an xp who is putting the other xp thru hell because of a grudge or just because they feel like it... i can kind of understand where you're coming from tho, my xp was very abusive (verbally) while i was pregnant, on top of that i was supporting his lazy ass and paying for all the pre-natal stuff... when i look back on it now i cant believe i put up with his **** for so long... but i broke it off before i had DS and his birth certificate is "father unknown".. and im so glad i did that.

just know that you have loads of support at bb, there are so many lovely ladies (and gents) that will support you when u need it.

cheers