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I know this may sound completely stupid to some of you!
But what exactly causes a stillbirth to happen as nothing is in english on the net, its all medical terms..
Can you stop it?
How do you not be so afraid that it will happen?
I am not scared to give birth but im scared to come home alone...
Any suggestions?
Sadly stillbirth happens all too frequently and most often a cause is not found. I know that sounds scary - and you are right. Coming home with empty arms is incredibly difficult.
Birth is the great unknown and one of the lessons it can teach us is to trust. Trust in your body and the process of birthing. Trust that the outcome will be the perfect outcome.
Toward the end of your pregnancy being aware of movements and any marked changes - either too frequent or not as frequent can help alert to a baby that is not doing so well. Having good antenatal care is another.
Remember most babies are born healthy, alive and strong. Focus on the positive, take good care of yourself and your baby and trust... :hug:
There are alot ofthings that can cause a stillbirth but the chances are EXTREMELY low, so I wouldn't worry if I were you.
Do you have any conditions that are making you worry or is this just a random thought that as sprung itself on you?
And don't worry about sounding stupid! I have a bit of a fear of myself dying during birth :doh: I don't know why, but it crosses my mind every now and again!
Inanna- I try to trust in it all.. so lets hope that works.. thank you though.. just peoples opinions help! :)
Teags- I have high blood pressure and my ob gave me a phamlet on preclampsia.. i think thats what it was called.. so that has freaked me out. But still birth has always freaked me out and now its getting closer i get myself all worked up and read other peoples loss stories.. i wish i could stop myself! At least you have a fear of something also.. not that it is good at all.. but nice to know im not the only one! Everything will be fine.. just have to keep telling ourselves that!
Thank you tho!
I remember having this fear! Its normal to worry. The only thing I can say is stay away from the loss stories if you can help it. If your having dreams about it, its only your subconcious dealing with your fears, and is in no way a sign that its going to happen.
If your antenatal carer is monitoring your high blood pressure, and informing you of pre-eclampsia, then I think you are in pretty safe hands. Maybe get yourself informed a bit more on pre-eclampsia and what to look for, that way you can feel more at ease that you know what to look for if you need to.
Maybe keep a daily note of movements if it will make you feel more at ease. I remember when I felt my DD kick Id take note of the time so that if I did need to remember her last movements, I would.
I know its hard, but relax a little bit, and if you have any concerns at all, dont brush them off, get them checked out.
:yeahthat:
As Tannedangel said - if your care provider is aware of the possbility already then you are in the best hands and they will be looking out for signs early.
You know, as a parent, I think from the day you get pregnant till the day you eventually pass away, you will ALWAYS worry about your kids to some degree. First it's getting through the pregnancy safely...then the birth...then the rest of their lives - all without loss or injury. I think it's a normal feeling to some degree...obviously if it's a feeling that you think is starting to overwhelm you and you're getting really fearful, it can be good to have a chat to your doctor. But on the whole, just know that you're experiencing normal emotions ;)
My sister gave birth to a baby that was stillborn. So I have that fear every day that something will happen to my baby.
I cry every time I hear of a baby being born safe and sound onto this earth - because its a reminder of how much of a miracle life is.
All we can do is hope and pray that it doesn't happen - if it happens or not is totally out of our hands unfortunately.
:hug:
definitely don't feel stupid! in fact thank you for posting this.
I've found as i've gone along the concerns change. ATM i'm worrying about stilbirth and 'something' bad happening! i think it's cos the bub is now at a stage where he'd be fine if he was born - so gotta have something to worry about!
but i just try and monitor his movements and find that very reassuring.
i'm sure once he's out and home, I'll start stressng about sids and enough food etc.
I hope you can find some peace and move ahead without worrying yourself too much.
Heya Hun,
I think its perfectly normal to worry about things going wrong but TBH if something terrible is going to happen most of the time there is nothing you can do to prevent it or stop it.
Worrying about all the "what if" is not going to help you or the baby because you will get stressed and you know chances are you will actually be fine.
I have no idea why you would be consuming your time by reading stories of loss, hun don't go there. You should be reading all the wonderful birth stories and keeping a positive mind.
Keep focussed on the good stuff hun, because that is something that you can control and work towards. There is much to be said for the power of positive thinking.
Nae x
I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in feeling apprehensive, honey!! I didn't worry too much about stillbirth when I was pg with my first, because I don't know anybody who has suffered such a tragic loss and I wasn't really researching that aspect of labour and birth. I didn't realise it was as common as it is (which is still very UNcommon, I should add, lol but I honestly didn't realise that it does happen more than I had first thought.
Then when I was pg with my second bub, I did begin to stress about it a lot more. It seemed every other week there was a funeral notice for an angel who was 'born sleeping' and I was reading stories of loss on here and other sites and basically scaring the absolute pants off myself. It got even worse when I went past my due date and noticed that a lot of the sleeping angels I'd read about were either very premature (which was no worry as I'd passed term) or were a week or more overdue (that was my concern). I think that fear literally willed my body into labour, no way was I going past a certain point without getting my baby out while she was still kicking!
Thankfully my fears proved to be baseless, and both my girls were born healthy and complication-free. I don't really consider myself lucky because I know it is far more common for a healthy, live birth to occur than a stillbirth, but I do feel blessed because I can't even imagine the heartache of such a loss.
As far as I can tell, there seems to be little rhyme or reason when a baby dies in utero - one of life's great unexplained mysteries. As long as your doctor is keeping tabs on your blood pressure and any other complications you might have, and you're receiving good antenatal care and looking after yourself, I'd say chances are you and your baby will be fine :D It's hard to 'just relax', but honestly there's just not much else you can do. But don't feel silly, this fear is definitely a valid one but unfortunately it appears to be out of our control whether it happens to us or not. Good luck :D