Didn't think it would be this hard

DH went back to work this week - he is a shift worker so he is gone 4 days from 1pm till 12am (approx). He then has 4 days off so I know I am VERY lucky to have him for those 4 days. I guess I just found this first 4 days quite overwhelming. I know I do too much - trying to keep the house perfect, with washing done et.c while still trying to play with DD and do what DS needs.

I know I don't have PND because in no way do I resent my chidlren, DH, self or anything else but I am feeling it a little full on. I know it will get easier when DS is in more of a routine but aahhhhhh I feel a bit anxious. Anyway I made it first 4 days and have 4 days with DH so will see how next week goes. BTW I know how lucky I am to have him home and both kids are pretty good sleepers so I'm not whinging - just venting!

:hug:

The first times DH was away after Charlotte was born was REALLY tedious for me.
I had a c/s with Charlotte, so was largely immobile anyway, was trying to establish breastfeeding properly and show DH and myself that I could do the whole housewife thing....it is tough - and I only had one child to look after!
DH was away for 2 weeks at a time too.

The thing I really had to learn fast was that it will take time to get into a new routine, to settle in with new bubba and find your new rhythm.
If the washing doesn't get folded straight away, or the beds don't get made, it isn't the end of the world - really. And you will not be any less successful as a mother and wife either.
Take the time to enjoy your new bubba, to show your DD that she is still important and give her that confidence her her new role as a big sister.
Are you BF? The stress etc can really affect that so again, take the time to look after yourself and take some me time whereever you can find it.

It will take time, but you will figure out a new routine that allows you to get everything you want done, done. But keep in mind that nobody, including your husband, expect you to be a Stepford Wife so don;t put that pressure on yourself! ;)

It is hard but you will get through it - you are doing a fabulous job already, having a 'part time' partner is tough, so hang in there .

:hug: HTH xx

JordieC - oh hun I hear you loud and clear!!! I am finding it hard too - DH is home at the moment but is going o/s in a weeks time and will be away for 7 days... I do have my mum coming over but we have an interesting relationship!!! So I can see myself looking after her, Aiden and Charlotte!!
Don't know about you but Aiden is spending loads of time with DH (which is awesome) but when I try and spend time with him, he lashes out a bit and hits and ges cranky at me.... I know he doesn't mean it, but he is my little guy and and I miss our relationship! Its really hard not to cry when he acts like this........:shakehead: sorry got off the track there!!
I think you are doing an awesome job and you vent away hun.... its hard for all getting into a new routine big hugs babe xxx

Jordie, OMG I know! I thought oh it's cool, not doing too bad... then OMG I felt I'd been hit by a truck. I had to just step back and not worry about those things, just do what you can do and don't stress. Feed bubs and do what you need to do with toddlers and the rest, well you do what you can. It does get easier as bubs doesn't feed as often and is happier to have a play etc but yep it's tough. I'm still finding it really tough sometimes and Elijah is 6 months old.

:hug: Being home with two under 2 was the hardest thing I've ever done. A new baby is a huge adjustment, and no less so when it's the second and there is a toddler to look after as well. It will be very hard for a while hun, but it does get easier. You sound very together and organised, I am sure you will be on top on in less time than it took me :hug:

:hug:
I hear you about the shift work, sometimes I want to :wall:
Hope your DS gets a routine sorted soon and thing become easier for you :) I'm sure M will be a very helpful big sister :)
You're doing an amazing job :clap:

5 weeks ago, I felt exactly the same. DH's 1st day back was a 12 hr shift finishing at 1.00am and I was recovering from a c-section..

It was hard, but it gets easier :hugs: Shiftwork sucks when it comes to the long hours, but it is bearable knowing that there are 4 days at the end.

I could relate to your post...when i first brought H home from hossi, i was like you, trying to keep the house perfectly clean, trying to bake, trying to iron, trying to do everything i did when i had a routine with THREE, not FOUR. It did my absolute head in (and my DH's....). He too works 4 days on (two night shifts) and 4 days off.
You gotta let go a little bit hon..of the house i mean. It WILL look the way you want it, but not now, not when your babies need mummys undivided attention....i promise, promise you will get that time back to do the chores you so want to do. As long as your fed, babies are fed, bathed and in bed at night...then your job is done... - for the time being;).

I hear ya sista! Our bubs are about the same ages - having a close gap can make this additionally tough.

DH is a shift worker and the household routine gets shifted accordingly to what shift he's on. :shakehead:.

I usually find I start strong at the beginning of the week, and towards the end I feel depleted!

(Especially when the kids gang up on me and cry at the same time, one wants a bottle, the other wants a bum change or has fallen over....).

The one thing that I try and make sure happens daily, come hell or high water is that I get some exercise (my release). Whether its taking the kids for a walk in the pusher or doing an exercise class, I get really crabby if I don't get it. You need 'you' time too!

I know what you are feeling! 2 under 2 is a real handfull, 7 months later I am getting the hang of it I get out and about and can get somethings done if the girls manage to sleep at the same time if not then I have learnt not to stress about it and ignore DH if he does.

Forgot to add have you got anyone you can ask for help eg your mum or MIL? And vent away, its better to do it here than anywhere else there are plenty of us who get it.