Desperate and Alone

Hello Everyone ... this is my first time to join the forum and I feel that this is the only place where I can be me - to share my inner thoughts and feelings with people who I feel can understand my situation. I got married at a late age - 35 because I focused too much on work. I have been TTC since mid-2008, in July 2009 polyps were removed from my uterus. This month was my first cycle to use Clomid.

I am optimistic about it .. although I can feel the tension between me and my husband. I feel very desperate to have a child, and feel very alone - I have no one here except my husband. My family lives far from me.

I would give up anything just to have a child. I dont want to be childless. I hope I can get pregnant with clomid - they said success rate is good within 6 months. I am not sure if anyone had tried this before. I am not overly concerned about twins, etc .. I am a bit concerned about clomid affecting my cervical mucus.

I would love to hear from anyone ...

Hi Monette & welcome :)

You are certainly in the right place for support and advice and there are plenty of ladies on here who are or have been in a similar situation.

Optimistic is a good way to be :)

I know from experience that TTC long term can have an affect on your relationship. It took us 2 yrs and 9 months to conceive our last child and DTD (doing the deed) became a bit of a chore and not exactly romantic. Hang in there though ;)

Wishing you all the best and hope your dream comes true for you soon xoxo

Hi Monette, welcome to BB :hug:

Yup, brilliant forum for TTC help, or even just to talk about nothing to distract yourself when you need it!

I hope Clomid works for you, and you get your BFP soon :)

Hi Monette,
Welcome to BB and good luck with the clomid - I really hope that it works for you. I hope that you find lots of support here from those that can identify with what you are going through. I think that many of us who have had difficulty being blessed with a baby can identify with feelings of isolation and of needing support and understanding, and also of the strain that TTC can put on relationships. Good luck.
FG

I hear you Monette. I don't reckon blokes get it in the same way that women do. We have been trying for 18 months now, and I tell you I think my husband probably thinks about the concept of having another baby approximately 4 or 5 times a month max. I, on the other hand, think about having a baby approximately 4 or 5 times in a morning or afternoon every single day. Wondering if I should eat or drink something or other, walk instead of drive (to get fitter). The constant taking of temperatures, monitoring vaginal mucus, opks! It's enough to make any woman feel a bit nutty and alone! Especially as it's not the sort of thing that you can discuss in polite conversation. And I find, even if you are confiding in a girlfriend there's only so many years you can keep talking about the same frustration (especially if they become pregnant themselves in the meantime). I know how frustrating and depressing it can be and have absolutely no advice whatsoever, except to say that here on Belly Belly you are not alone!

Good luck.

And Ps. Monette, this is also my first month of clomid. I do believe I feel just a little bit nuttier or more depressed than I usually do, I've also had the WORST insomnia I can remember having in ages. I'm putting it down to the clomid. Just what I need! More crying!!

:( Don't feel sad.

Easier said than done though, I know.

I'm on my third round of Clomid, Up to 100mg now, but at least its had me ovulating :)

Best of luck and I hope you're pregnant with a little clomid bebe in no time :)

I'm sorry that you feel alone.....I feel like that quite a bit...that noone understands...well only those going through it...and anyone that hasn't gone through it, has kids etc, will judge me for some of the things I feel.

My only advice is try to talk to your husband and get him to talk...my hubby and I haven't done that much and that has made me feel more alone than anything. And if you need to speak to a counsellor do it sooner rather than later. I feel I've let way too much build up, I wish I had have seen a counsellor when we started IVF. Maybe then I'd be handling things better right now.

Good luck.

Welcome Monette, I wish you all the best of luck on your TTC journey, I hope you get a BFP very soon with clomid. You are definately in the right place, as there are many ladies on here that are going through similar to you. There is also a TTC thread for the older women 35yrs and over. I think would be a great starting point for you. They are also a great bunch of ladies.


Incomplete - I am sorry that you feel some people that have kids judge you. Thats very sad. Unfortunately though some people really dont understand especially if they have kids. A child is a gift and sometimes unless the gift of a child is hard to get or is taken away, some may never truly understand. I wish you all the best of luck on your TTC journey.

Thank you so much to all of you .... I was happy to read each of your responses :D
I think my first round of clomid didnt work :crying: but I made an appointment with my ob-gyn tomorrow:o I really appreciate all the words of encouragement ... I felt better:lol: My husband and I are doing well now and I earnestly hope it will stay that way :pray: if not even get better :dance:

Monette,

Hard as it may be, try and stay positive. Glad you do feel a little better and things good with your DH and you.

I conceived DS on my second cycle of Seraphine (same stuff as Clomid) - at the time I was 34 and we'd been TTC for about 8 months. In my case I needed some help to ovulate properly. As fortune would have it, we conceived our next bub without any medical help.

Re: removal of polyps from your uterus - a former colleage of mine had a huge fibroid removed from her uterus a few years ago. The drs had intended to remove her uterus entirely but my friend was adamant she wanted more children so the surgeons did what they could to save it but gave her no promises as the fibroid was extensive. She's gone on to have two more children (via IVF) in the years since. My point is only that it's amazing what can be done these days in the way of helping couples conceive.

All the best, Andie

Monette,

I'm not in the LTTTC as yet, but I am on clomid because of late ovulation and short luteal phase. I thought I'd respond to the concern about cervical mucas. It makes me really dry and the FS put me on oestrogen tablets for my second clomid cycle (which I'm just finishing) but it hasn't helped. To help out I'm using the pre-seed lub which I read about somewhere on this site. I googled pre-seed and found a chemist which stocks it not to far from me.

Hi Monette,

My situation is pretty similar to you, so I have posted. My family and really good friends are far away from here and my friends here have children. I know they don't mean to give me hard time and they are concerning about me, but sometimes it's really hard to meet and talk them. I feel isolated too.:crying:

What did your gyn tell say when you went to see him/her ?

I'm PCOS and it's my 2nd cycle on clomid. Last cycle it didn't work, so this cycle took 100mg. I feel depressed, nutty, and am putting on weight. If I could ovulate, worth putting up with the side effect but not sute..

My gyn told me that if clomid doesn't work within 3 cycles, I need to go Sydney IVF.
It's hard to keep positive but I'm trying and enjoy my life, hope you feel the same.:D

All the best,