TT'ed at Daycare, refuses at home.

As the title suggests DS is basically TT'ed at daycare and outright refuses at home.

He has recently turned two and just started putting on the biggest tantrum if I tried to put a nappy on him and wanted to sit on the toilet and wear 'big boy jocks'. It was all going well until a little while he just started refusing to sit on the toilet or potty or stand on his step.

The thing is, he is doing so well at daycare, I just don't understand :confused:

I've tried a encouragement chart, stickers, making a big song and dance but it isn't working. I was thinking of trying to reward him with something like a lolly. He doesn't get them often and I think he would walk on water for a jelly bean. The thing is, I don't want to use food as a reward but I am also keen for him to be TT'ed if possible before our next bub arrives.

Giving it a break isn't a option, he just takes his nappy off and walks around in nuddy. He is really good at telling me when he wants to wee and poo, I just don't want to force him to sit on the toilet and have a bad association with it.

Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

Spring x

Happens a lot. I would say that if song and dance ain't working, I'd cut the song and dance, and go as laidback as you can on it. I've been in childcare for 10 years (next week!) and I think that's half the secret - we've seen SO many kids TTd that it's just not a big deal anymore, so we're far mroe relaxed about it, and then so are the kids.
Like a bit of "well, here's a nappy, and here's your blue jocks and your red jocks. You decide which ones you're going to wear." When he goes for the jocks, say "well, that's a good choice. remember that you'll have to do your wees and poos int he toilet if you are wearing jocks."
Rather than forcing the toilet, I would say "Do you need to go to the toilet? Remember that you're wearing jocks and you'll need to do your wees and poos in the toilet" If he's good at telling you, that's a great sign.
If he hasn't been for two hours, and you're worried, ask him to go. If he says no, give him a bit of "OK, well, do you want to go later? How many minutes? Maybe... 10?" Let him think he's the boss, and gets to choose how many minutes.
I've seen lollies work. You start off with one lolly for every toilet success, then later you move on to a lolly for every day without an accident. Eventually, they all seem to just get on with it.

Shrug off any accidents. Really, in the scheme of things, they don't matter. Say, very matter of factly "Next time you can remember to use the toilet." and move on, swiftly, don't mention it again.
If you're getting a lot of accidents, and you suspect it's because he's reluctant to leave his play, make sure he takes full responsibility for the accidents. Make him take off the wet clothes, put them in the machine, put on the new ones (I usually cut help right back to a bare minimum at this point) so that he learns that it's actually MORE time consuming to wet your pants than go to the toilet. Most kids figure this out pretty quick.

Also, don't be surprised if he regresses when number 2 comes along. Lots of kids do it.

Hope that's helpful!

Wow snuggly, I really appreciate your advice. You are the TT'ing guru

You make some really good points, I think I'll stop the big song and dance celebration when he goes and make it more relaxed. I do make him help clean up when he has an accident but I also tell him it is nothing to be worried about and that we can clean it up together.

The idea of showing him a nappy and jocks and asking him to choose is a really good idea.

I really do appreciate your help.

Spring

Find out what they say at childcare. At mine it was "where do wees/poos go" and he'd answer "in the toilet." I started saying the same thing & I think that helped.

Good idea Snowy. I asked his room about his TT'ing and they said he hasn't been a drama at all. Gets up on the toilet and goes not fuss at all. That's why I'm so baffled about the refusal at home.

:D Yeah, man, I love TTing. I've had a lot of time to try a lot of different things, seen a lot of different apporoaches.

And the amazing thing? I've never yet seen a ["normal"] kid still in nappies at 5 years old. So everything works (eventually!) No such thing as TT failure!