Help what to do!!!

I know having an elective c-section seems wrong in well a lot of peoples eyes, to have surgary when there is no medical reason to do so. Ever since i got married and my husband and i talked about having children i have alway said that an elective c-section is for me. now that i am 6 months pregnant people close family and friends do not understand why i would do this! Now i am so confussed about what i want and its getting to me! I am starting to feel like i am going to do something wrong. does anyone have any advice or felt this way?

Thanks

I am the opposite babe, the thought of a c/section scares the crapola outta me!!! :lol::lol:

All I can suggest is RESEARCH babe. Talk to your doc and Ob, and learn all you can about vaginal and c/section birth.

The right decision will be an informed one sweets!! ;)

i think PrettyB has hit the nail on the head...research, research reasearch! research the c-section and the vaginal delivery and find out for yourself, what it is that *might* be stopping you from wanting a vaginal birth and prefering surgery.

that way, any decision you do make is an informed one, one that you can stand up for and most importantly feel comfortable with.

Hey there, congrats on your pregnancy!

I can REALLY recommend a book called Delivery By Appointment by Michelle Hamer (Australian Author) It is neither pro nor anti Caesarean, and I think would be a great place for you to start to help make the best decision for you.
Birth is a very personal thing but the more knowledge you have the better.

I've personally had one caesarean (elective for medical reasons so no labour) and personally I struggled afterwards. Not physically, my physical recovery was heaps easier than I expected, but emotionally. I had troubles with Bonding and breastfeeding (milk not coming in properly) and these were all attriuted to the caesarean because my body did not produce any of the labour and birth hormones that help you fall in love with your bub and help milk production etc. That is just me though and everyone is different. Also my cs was under a general anaesthetic because the anaesthetist couldn't get the epi in properly so that's another reason my my experience was so negative. I'm not trying to turn you off having a CS but it's important to know that like a vaginal birth, a caesarean doesn't always go to plan.

Best of luck with your decision :)

Funny how everyone else wants to stick their nose in something that's such a personal decision and a personal experience. I guess it's (usually) just because they care. But honestly I don't think it's anyone else's place to say how you should birth your baby.

I personally feel that it is totally up to you if you want to elect to have a cesarean. If that is a choice that is available to you and you want to take it, then it's between you and your doctor and no-one else.

I agree with PP's that you should research and really think hard about why you want the c-section over a vaginal birth. Not because I think there is anything wrong with that choice, just because if you are firm on your reasons and know what you're in for, it will make you feel more sure about your decision, and other people's opinions won't make you feel so confused and unsure. It will also help you have a more positive birthing experinence. If thinking deeply about and researching your decision makes you realise that you're not feeling confident about it, then you might like to consider the alternative... it's certainly not too late to change your mind and prepare for a VB.

Either way, it's your body, your baby, your experience, your choice.

Duplicate post - my computer was freezing up

its your choice! forget them but I will let you know it is quite painful after and you do have to take medication. I had trouble breastfeeding and now have no milk after trying to get good attachment for 2 months. (its hard to sit up) you also cant bend over and pick your bub up for a good few days. I had a c section after 30 hours of labour and it wasnt a pleasant experience for me, but i was exhausted and had been in alot of pain, it will be different for you. You also will need a needle everyday for 2 or 3 days to stop bloodclots. Im not trying to put you off but just inform you its not like it is on RPA or in movies, it can be just as hard as a vaginal birth if not more. for me i will NEVER do it again if i can help it. My bub also had a little cut on his head which is one of the risks but he was fine. they will explain this all to you. Good luck with whatever way you birth your baby, and remember it is still a BIRTH dont let anyone tell you otherwise!

i agree, u need to research. I ended up with an emergency c/sec. It was fine while they were doing it etc, but aftwards.. omg. OWWWWWWW. U need help sitting up (as they cut through your stomach muscles), u need help walking, feeding bub, showering, going to the toilet etc etc. I cant say im not trying to put u off, coz in a way, i am. There is no way i will have another c/sec. Its been over 12 months and its still numb down there from all the nerves that were cut. Not good.

So at the end of the day, its up to u. All i can do is advise on things i have been through myself. I have no idea what its like to have a natural birth, so i can gve my opinion on that one.

good luck

HI hun, I have had both natural and c/s deliveries. Although when in labour and going through the whole birthing thing seems scarey, once that bub comes it is all over. Yet with the c/s you are in for a longer recovery. There are 6weeks where you cant do much of anything not even drive.
My first c/s was an emergency c/s after going through hours and hours of labour only to find that bubs was stressing and I was closing at 8cm dialated. The recovery from that c/s was painful and long.
My next two were via c/s too, (the recovery not as bad as the first) and If I was able I would have wanted to have a natural birth only because of what a hard time I had with the recovery from the first c/s and also that when my last one was born by c/s I was informed that I have too much scarring and that the bleeding was hard to stop.
How many bubs would you like to have? Would you be willing to try labouring first before having a c/s. Would your DR let you try and at your word give you the c/s if you felt you couldnt continue? Your BM may not come through properly either, it happened with my last two where my milk wasnt that great. With my second c/s, It took a bit longer to feel conncected to my litle girl, and wonder if it had anything to do with having a general aneasetic (being asleep, rather then awake for her birth)

EVen with everything I have mentioned about my experience with the c/s, giving birth is an experience in itself and as long as your bub comes to you healthy and safe is the most important thing. No one can make the decision for you, it is a decision you need to make, as you will be the one going through it. The decision you make will be the best for you. No one will blame you for that. You are going to have the most precious gift your little baby which ever way you give birth and thats the most importnant thing.

I too suggest you research abit before you decide.

You need to remember as well, you could have such a quick labour that it would be over as quickly as it started.

Just from my experience too, after my c/s's I was not well enough to hold my babies without some help, and also missed hours after their birth. As for the natural delivieries, I didnt miss a moment.

I wish you all the best of luck with your deicision, and look forward to hearing your birth story. hugs

:hug: it sounds like you're in a tough place at the moment. Uncertainty can be so debilitating.

I think it is always worth while to examine the feelings surrounding birth and really try and connect with what you're afraid of, or what could go wrong, and what the best case scenario is for you and bub (i.e. research). Once you've gone over all of that, you might find you come back to the same decision or change your mind entirely.

As other people have stated. It really is your choice. You have to live through this experience, and it isn't anyone else's business.

I do want to assure you that vaginal births can be so amazing and empowering, and with appropriate support, they can be done drug free, or with minimal intervention. This means your recovery can be days instead of weeks.

Birth is a rite of passage for every mother, and it is YOUR journey. I hope you find the support you need. :hug:

I agree with previous posters - with still a couple of months to go, use the time to read & research both options, so that when it comes to the time, you are comfortable with YOUR decision. Almost everyone will have an opinion and you can go crazy listening to it all.

For me, there is no shame in what you decide, and having a c/s is just as valid a birth experience as a natural one, and I don't think anyone should make you feel differently, if that's what you decide. But it is worthwhile being informed.

My experience: I ended up with an emergency c/s, and I'm one of the ones who found it not bad at all. DH and I had agreed beforehand that if anything unexpected happened that he was to stay with the baby, and this is what happened - he stayed with DS while I was in recovery for maybe an hour. Which for a little while made me a bit sad that I missed that first hour or so, but once we were all back together, it was all fine. I've had no problems bonding with DS, no problems with BFing, and, for me, even the physical recovery wasn't painful or difficult. The biggest inconvenience was not driving for 6 weeks, but I was mostly happy to be at home anyway, or to walk around the streets for a break from the house.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that some people have deeply traumatic experiences with C/S's, but equally, some of us don't. And then everything in-between. The important thing is to be happy for yourself, and to not let other people's opinions & beliefs make you uncomfortable with your choices.

Just wanted to throw in another positive c/s experience. I've had two, one under GA & one with just a spinal. Both were great. While I know I could have done lots of mental preparation for a vaginal birth and possibly had a great experience with it, I also know myself and what I'm like, and I think the only way I would have coped with the experience well would be if I could have birthed in a dark room by myself, which we all know is a very difficult to achieve (unless you have a really great, trusted, idependent midwife who can help you achieve a hands off homebirth, and you have the $$$ to pay for it, and nothing goes wrong requiring a transfer). The emotional side of things aside, I'm happy that my perineum remained in tact and everything is still the same 'down there'. I have no regrets, no BFing or bonding problems (breastfed my first for 2 years), and little pain beyond the first couple of days... and even that wasn't bad because they give you strong pain relief.

Many people do have quite a hard time with cesareans, so it's worth reading many different people's experiences so you know what it can be like. I think for many, part of the reason that it is so traumatic is because they feel disempowered by the experience and/or really wanted a vaginal birth. If a cesarean is what you want and choose, and you know what to expect so that the pain or some other aspect of it doesn't take you by surprise, then I don't think you are likely to be traumatised by it. For me, I think I would have been the opposite- if I had been forced or coerced into a vaginal birthing experience it when I wasn't emotionally/mentally prepared for it or wasn't able to do it on my terms I would have found *that* traumatic and been angry/p***ed off about the experience.

Moral of the story is, do whatever you feel most comfortable with. You know yourself best, and what's right for you.g Reading about the range of people's experiences will help you understand what you're in for, either way.

Goodluck with whatever you decide.

Like everyone else has said.... research research research! It is important to be informed and to do what is best both for you and your baby.

I recently had my first baby via emergency c-section and my feelings about this are mixed. On a positive note, the actual procedure was fine. The doctors/nurses were fantastic and extremely supportive, DH was allowed into the operating room and when he almost passed out the nurses happily took the camera to be sure they got first pics of DD for me. Before having the operation they were great too, gently explaining that my baby was distressed but that everything would be ok however the baby had to be born now and the only way for that to happen was via a c-section. I felt fine with this at the time as all I wanted was for my baby to be safe and well.The procedure itself was over in no time and after a quick cuddle with my baby DH did some bonding with DD while I was in recovery. Once reunited with DD I was instantly in love with her and have no problems whatsoever with bonding or BF. Also, physically I have coped very well and was quickly up & about again. So in that respect it was a very positive experience. Emotionally however, I am still trying to come to terms with the experience. I feel like my body failed me and I that I have missed out on the precious exerience of birthing my baby naturally. This is something that I very much wanted - I also really didn't want to have a c-section.

From my experience I think it has a lot to do with your frame of mind and your expectations. I didn't expect to have a c-section and i definitely didn't want to have one hence my disappointment. I think if I had known it was coming I would have been more prepared for it and I would not have such negative feelings about it. Be informed and be prepared and I'm sure whatever path you chose will be the right one for you.

Fi

I think maybe you need to have a really good think about what brought you to make that decision in the first place. It's so hard when you've not had a baby yet to know what the *right* or best thing to do is, let alone when you have well-meaning friends and family members adding their two cents. Some women have had family members that all had to have a c/s, so they think that they will also have trouble. Some think that because they are only petite that they will struggle to get a baby out, some are afraid of doing damage to their vagina/pelvic floor and others have had trauma that makes them not want to give birth vaginally. The wife of one of DH's friends had also made the decision to have a c/s birth as soon as she was old enough to even really think about birth. This was based on her small frame and also that her father was a 13lb baby and the thought of that terrified her. Im' not close to her to have really talked about her feelings, but I do know that when she eventually gave birth, that it was vaginally and I got the impression that she was glad that she did instead of going straight for a c/s.

I guess once you have identified the reason/s why you want to birth like this then maybe they are something you can work on so you know you are having the right birth for you.

I'm coming on board a bit late with this but just wanted to share my c/s experience. TBH I was scared of VB but I was determined to give it a go and read heaps about VB. Then my baby was in breech and I decided the risk to her with a VB was too great for me to take. So I did have an elective c/s.

Anyway, my c/s experience was a very unpleasant one. As soon as my c/s was over I started vomiting and I continued vomiting non-stop for 12 hours. I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't even sit up, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and worst of all I couldn't hold my new baby girl whom I was dying to look at, touch and cuddle. I was extremely exhausted and felt so rotten and I was in a lot of pain. It took me two days to recover. I finally got out of bed on day 3 but was so weak and sick still. After that I was still feeling unwell and weak for a long time and of course had to recover from the surgery too. I'm not sure how common that scenario is but I have since met another mother who went through the exact same thing as me so I don't think it's uncommon.

With VB one friend of mine didn't even realise she was in labour until a check up, then had one hour of pain and that's it. While another friend of mine had a very long hard labour with baby #1 and chose c/s for baby #2, which she found easier.

As others have said I think research is the key. Way up pros and cons of both options before you make a decision.

Like the other ladies have said it is your body, your baby, your birth, your choice... so please don't let yourself be swayed by other peoples opinions. Knowledge is power and will help you feel confident in your decision.

I also want to stress that everyones experience is different. Some people have had hideous VB's while others have had ones that are magical, similarly some people have had terrible CS's and awful recoveries, while others have relished the experience and recovered quite easily. So I suppose what I am saying is just because you read about one bad experience (be it a bad CS or a bad VB) don't let that make your mind up.

Research the techniques, quiz your OB, find out everything you need to know to make a decision that you're comfortable with. Then make a clear birth plan (whichever way you go) and make sure that your OB and midwives know exactly what YOU want.

And for what it is worth I had an emergency CS and I remember DS's birth as being magical. I cried when they lifted him out and I was able to hold him within about 2 minutes of him being born and held him the whole time they stitched me up. While I was in recovery (was only 30 minutes) DH went with him to be weighed and checked out. For the record, they didn't cut through my stomach muscles (I've heard that it is pretty unusual for them to cut them these days, but ask your OB), but rather pulled them out of the way. Yes for the next couple of days I wasn't in great shape, but was up and able to have a shower etc the next day. I was strong enough to cuddle DS from the minute we went to our room and I think I was even changing nappies the next day. The good thing about having had him in a private hospital is that you have 6 days there to recover and you can also have your partner stay with you. I really liked that while I wasn't able to do everything, DH was doing it instead (not a midwife). I had no problems bonding with DS and no issues with my milk coming through.

Good Luck with the rest of your pregnancy and your birth (whichever way you choose to go).