MCHN appt now I'm all confused :(

Hi
I just got home from DS 8 months MCHN appointment. He has gained weight and is doing all the right things. But I'm beginning to wonder why I even went. The Nurse told me to start giving him his meals BEFORE a breastfeed now that he is older. Is this right? I though breast milk was the most important food untill 12 months??? If I start giving him food before his breastfeed wont he take less milk?

Also she told me to get hubby up to him at night. He still breastfeeds 2-3 time a night. She said he is old enough to sleep thru the night and that DH needs to get up, leave the light off, not speak to him and just pat him back to sleep....

I know that if DH did that then DS would scream the house down :rolleyes: so DH would have to pick him up and cuddle him back to sleep.... but I thought that he was waking during the night because he needed the milk ?!?!?!?! So should he be sleeping thru?

I don't know why I bothered going :( All the stupit appointment has done is make me doubt what I'm doing...

I could have written this exact post about a month ago.

My MCHN told me to start offering food before a breastfeed, and that he should be sleeping through. I nodded... then went home, doubted myself for a bit - then just kept on doing what I've always been doing.
I know that breastmilk is the main source of food until 12 months, and I know that a baby waking up several times a night at 8 months is not unusual - in fact, I dare say it's the norm.

It sounds like you're doing a great job. Just keep doing what you're doing - you're a great mum!

And just so you know - I still breastfeed before solids (and DS doesn't even eat that much solids atm - but that's okay cause food is for fun before they're one), and my DS wakes up 3 times a night for a feed too. If I don't feed DS it would result in an hour+ of me having to resettle him rather than 15 mins feeding.
All sounds normal to me :).

I say just do what feels right and works for YOU and your BUB!! Your doing a great job so don't doubt yourself!

My personal opinion to to ignore the nurse. I kept offering breastmilk before all feeds and there is no way I could have got through the night without feeding DS. I think 8-9 months is a pretty rough time regarding sleep as it is without trying to cut night feeds.
Just keep trusting your gut feelings and keep doing what your doing! You're doing a great job!! :D

I agree you need to do what works for you.

I was lucky enough the DD slept through and was not feeding over night at 8mths, every now and then she would have a very unsettled night and the last resort was her bottle but otherwise she was fine without one.
Although i do know that at that age they say that if they do feed overnight it should only be 1 feed ??

I didn't swap DD to food before bottles until she was over 10mths old but i found if she had food first then her bottle an hour later she still took the same amount.

GL and do what works for you, aslong as they are gaining weight and happy and healthy and if it's not affecting you then keep it up.

WRT to the breastfeeding after solids...yes, breastmilk is the most important source of nutrition till 12 months but there has to be a transitional phase, you know? It's not like on their first birthday all of a sudden everything changes, you cut back on their milk and increase their food. You can maybe offer solids before bfing once a day, then after about 6 weeks twice a day etc etc. It is also to encourage their interest in food. They will still get plenty of breastmilk. And a nice soothing breastfeed is a lovely way to finish off a meal.

Just to give you a different perspective...you are just swapping the order, not cutting anything out.

As for getting DH up at night - if you know that won't work and the current situation doesn't bother you, then ignore what she said. Yes, they "should" be sleeping through the night but they don't always do what they are "supposed" to be doing and you have to do what works, especially at 2am in the morning! I was still breastfeeding my DS in the middle of the night at 16-17 months old.

:hug: Do what works for you. I can't even remember what order I did things, but I imagine I would have breastfed first because that is instant. :lol: I probably then put bub down while I wandered off to make some food.

As for DH going in - well that is what we did when we were encouraging bub to sleep through, but if you're not up to that, then you don't need to do it. We did it when bub would wake habitually for a feed but wasn't really interesting in feeding - because when DH went in bub wouldn't smell my milk and would go 'oh okay well I'll just go back to sleep then shall I'. I think DH might even have started off offering water? I can't remember.

But you do what works for you and bub, and what your family is ready for.

Lol, my 20 month old still occasionally wakes through the night for boob!

Just keep going with what your doing. They are there to check developmental mile stones & growth charts to make sure baby has no seriouse issues. Most of them don't know quite as much about the mothering thing as you'd think.

Actually, with the breastfeeding before solids... I do still do it, but I guess I'm not as strict about it now as I was when I first started DS on solids. Like now I just give DS a breastfeed when he wants/needs it, and solids whenever meal time happens to come about.

But like I, and others have said - just keep doing what works for you :).

It's such a shame that the MCHN gave you doubts about yourself. Unfortunately it seems to be very common. Please don't doubt yourself - as you said "He has gained weight and is doing all the right things." - that says it all.

There seems to be some very mis-informed advice being given these days, even by health professionals. Milk is still the most important source of nutrition at this age. Until somewhere closer to the 12 month mark, offering bm first is the recommended approach.

And as for the misconception that babies don't need feeds in the night at that age - well don't get me started. There are a few babies who can get through the night without a feed at that age, but the vast majority still need to feed. And it's no wonder - they have tiny tummies and they are doing a lot of growing and developing. Of course they need milk, and 8 hours or more without any is a very long time for a young baby.

Hun, if it ain't broke don't fix it. You are doing a fantastic job, your little one is doing all the right things. Just put the things you heard today in the same category as the well meaning advice from the little old lady in the supermarket. Continue to follow your instincts :hug:

:yeahthat:

Well said MR (as always :))

Ohh I hate hearing mums doubting themselves after seeing the nurse, or speaking to someone! so I am so sorry hun, that you are left feeling a bit confused with it all. You are most definitely not doing anything wrong! She's just offering ONE way of doing things, but there are a billion other ways to do things too!

Sounds like your little fella is doing very well so be proud.

On the sleeping thing..yes, he is 'old enough' to not have juicy night boobies..but so what! My husband is 'old enough' not to be a pain in bum you would think- but he still is and drives me nuts!!..I really do hate hearing that "they are old enough"...

All the best! Just pick out the bits she said that are useful to you an ignore the rest! Your DS will turn out brilliantly I am sure!