Unaffectionate toddler

My DS is now 27 months old. He has the speech and comprehension of a 3-4 year old, but for all his thousands of words, he has never ever said 'I love you' or any variation to anyone.

He says he loves various foods, bugs, toys etc, but when it comes to people he doesn't say it. He doesn't ever come for or give hugs voluntarily . The was a phase when he would ask for a cuddle, but it was only ever if I was doing something and he wanted me to pay attention to him instead.

We tell him that we love him all the time and I often call him over for a hug (which results in him trying to squiggle away or putting up with it until I stop iykwim).

Does anyone else have such an unaffectionate child?

It's only been the in the past week that A has started saying "love you Mum' to me too. I think that the affection thing is often just the way some kids are - some will love hugs and some don't. Its really hit and miss here with A on the hug front - I have to grab him in a bear hug so he can't get away most of the time LOL

Arte i could have almost typed that word for word. I was just thinking about it this morning, how i wish she was more affectionate. If she is hurt or sometimes in a new environment she wants a cuddle but very rarely. If i ask her for a cuddle she says "no thanks mummy!" She also says she loves a particular food, or a certain song, but she doesn't say it to me. I encourage her to express love for her Dad, grandparents and uncles. For example, If my mum and dad are leaving she says "see you later" and i say to her, "Say 'love you granny'" And she does but only on my prompt iykwim.

Does W see people saying 'i love you' to each other? perhaps he only hears you say "i love chocolate" rather than "i love you" to your hubby. I say it all the time to the girls but not to DH often, so maybe i need to start. ;)

i guess i worry a bit as i know that kids on the autism spectrum can have issues with affection. I don't think Lu is autistic, I think she is just fiercely independent and things have to happen on her terms iykwim. But just typing this has made me think i need to lead by example a little more and not only tell her, but tell DH in front of her.

Do you think it might be more stubborn than unaffectionate? Do you (or anyone) ask him to say "I love you" etc - I say this because I have the worlds most stubborn child and she often wont do anything if she feels it's expected *sigh

Oi! Lu gave me the loveliest cuddles at your baby shower Ange, so I think she may be a little stubborn too - I dunno though

Just a thought anyway xoxoxo

Could it be personality?? My son who is 7.5yo never says i love you, please, thanks or anything to that effect. He never cuddles or kisses. It could be "him". I think the more you or family members say it to him, the more he may say it. Remember that he is only 2.5yo and not 10. He still can't reason or think like an older child adult even though he knows lots and lots of words.

xxoo

Lulu- she is soooooo stubborn i think you might be right. She only wants to cuddle on her terms. :rolleyes: Wonder where she gets that from? :p