Going to have my homebirth!
My husband finally agrees to have homebirth and I'm SO VERY happy!! I'm currently 28 weeks and I've been anxious for the last 4-6 weeks because he initially thought homebirth will be dangerous because it's the first time I will try to birth vaginally. My first was an elective c/s because the baby was "too big", she was a healthy average 3.3kg. Same story, long & painful recovery, and months in agony and feeling lethargic. There's no way I'm going through that again.
I don't want to birth in the hospital because being a VBACer I can already imagine they'll keep close eyes on me, and I don't think I want to have that pressure. I want to birth in my own time and peacefully, not something you usually achieve in hospitals. However, if something goes wrong (god forbid) the hospital is only 10 minutes away from where we live, so transfer is not a problem here.
The funny thing is that now I get to have my homebirth I have no one else to share the joy! Except for a good friend who is going to attend my birth who really thinks it's normal to have a homebirth and my birth support who is a private midwife we're hiring, no one else I'm feeling comfortable to share the news with! I'm a bit cautious to who I share the story with, I just don't want to be judged and I don't bother to try and justify my choice.
This feels a little weird. I know it's safe, I'm very happy and confident and feeling a huge relieve now that I can birth at home but in the same time I feel a little "odd" as if I have this big secret. Ridiculous, isn't it?
