Surrogacy general chatter

Hi!
Welcome to Surrogacy General Chatter.

The thread is for those who have, for various reasons, decided to use, or are considering using, a surrogate to assist in their dream of having a child.

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Thanks for the thread

BBL to post our story that finds us here

Well as many of you may know a bill surrounding Altruistic Surrogacy has just been passed so it will legal in qld.

So down the track, after we have our own children (which we may only have 1 more) I am interested in being a surrogate. Donating my own eggs isn't something that I feel dh and I will become comfortable with so what I am wondering is how many women or couple out there need a surrogate to carry their biological baby (as in the egg and sperm of the couple which I would carry?) Obviously homosexual men if the got a donor egg but is this a very common need or are most people looking for surrogates looking for an egg donor also??

I feel as though if this was someone else biological child and although I would feel a special bond with the child I think I would be able to do the job of carrying the baby and then give him/her back to the rightful parents...do you think this is a naive view and its actually a lot more emotionally complex then that??

We were just about to head down this road after 15 cycles of IVF. there is a yahoo site where surrogacy is the topic and the men and ladies in there have lots of info. We have two ppl offer for us one i know very well and another i will be meeting nect week (she knows we are now pg)

Just wanted to come into the thread to say a big thank you, and i hope you find a family who you can help fulfil their dreams as well as your own

I do think its alot more complex then that but your definately on the right track if its something your thinking you could do.

I didn't realise that a bill surrounding Altruistic Surrogacy had been passed in QLD.

I could be in a similar position except I would be doing it for a very close family member (have to go through ethics committee etc) who can't carry a child. I am the only option at this stage in our immediate family due to age and I was under the impression that at this stage you had to be a very close and have a continuous relationship with the parents-to-be, have a child of your own preferrably a completed family. Its not an option yet as my own family isn't complete but potentially it will be down then track and she will need a uterus to grow her baby which is about all I can provide. Emotionally I am not sure how I will feel. I guess there would be some grief associated with it but the benefits will outway that by far. I think as I know the pain of infertility its something I deeply want to do for her. Its just a shame its not an option sooner for her and her DH. To my knowledge its quite a complex process but maybe the Altruistic Surrogacy will make it easier.

I just wanted to subscribe to this thread as i too am very interrested in being a surrogate after we finish our family. (probably after this bub)

Like you Jas, I would prefer to be a surrogate to someone elses biological child. I'm sure there are many cases where women cannot carry their own child such as if they've had to have a hysterectomy or they have a medical condition that prevents them from being able to have a healthy pregnancy.

Ok I have just read some more into it. Does that mean it will now be possible for a woman to be a surroagte for a family she didn't know or have a good relationship with prior to the surrogacy? (Provided no money etc would be exchanged) I hope so as there would be women out there in Australia willing to do this and my awareness was that legally its still not possible (unless its passed through the ethics committee and meets all their stipulations) After I have my family I want to do it for my SIL. Although my only tube is bodgy (hence why I can't get pregnant) there is no other reason why I couldn't carry her child using IVF. I could donate my eggs (once again once I finish my family) but I couldn't carry my own biological child and then hand it over to the to be parents.

I think you are all marvellous people. It is really wonderful to hear the growing numbers of Australians who are starting to consider being surrogates for less fortunate couples who have an inability to carry.

As someone who has assisted many couples in the past 12 months with advice re the whole subject matter, after our experience in India, it is refreshing to see a dramatic rise in appreciation of the difficulties infertile couples and those who cannot carry, experience. In so many cases, the couples who have found out about our story have major health issues, and it is just so sad. All I can do is offer support and direction re various options available both here and overseas.

By the way, we are heading off to India soon, as we were fortunate enough with our embryos we shipped over there in June 09, to have another pregnancy. Our baby will be due in late March. It is exciting yet also an anxious time as the Indian experience is never easy and not for the faint hearted. We just wished there were more Australians who were able to be surrogates...I think the tide is now turning.

It may even be better if the Aust Govt follow the guidelines per the SCAG paper on surrogacy in Aust. One key point raised in this white paper, was for altruistic surrogacy to be legal in Aust. and governed federally, not state based. It also noted a max $10k or 3 months salary to be reimbursed to a surrogate in Aust. This sounds positive, but, there is one very significant detraction from such a positive policy, and that is the surrogate may prior or even post birth, apply to the courts for parentage.

Could you imagine the impact on the intended parents if they in fact were not able to facilitate the parental rights? I think we would see a rapid rise in hospitalisation for traumatised couples....this would not be a joke either...it could lead to suicides etc. I know from the couples who I have spoken to in the past 12 months, that some are walking a fine line between mental stability and going over the edge. It is such a serious matter, that the public servants would have to have cold hearts to even consider such a disgraceful policy.

I think we need practical and well considered solutions that provide a favourable outcome, not trauma. This issue must be carefully debated amongst health professionals and those who are in such high positions and have empathy or experienced the trauma of infertility or inability to carry. It is not a subject for an inexperienced public servant(s) to draft policy, as noted above, there are obvious flaws and a complete lack of understanding of the issue. I really cringe when people (politicains) who make decisions for the community, are not or do not have the specialist knowledge, empathy and experience to make sound policy.

Michelle

Hi all.
I agree with Michelle, there should be some guidelines on doing this. Mainly counsiling for all parties included. if there are actual written rules etc.. (and funding) then this is more likely to happen. and also hope people realise the fall out if things do go wrong...

After hearing the new laws I have developed a curiosity in the subject of surrogacy,
Does anyone know the physical requirements? Say a couple use their sperm and egg in a surrogate, things like blood type and those type of things make a difference on if the surrogate can carry their child?
We know that mums who are a negative blood group need to take precautions incase they have a postive child, and even different ABO's can affect the babies health.
How does it work with a surrogate?
thanks for your help, and sorry if i have taken over the thread, i just wanst sure where i should put this...

Hi

I have been on the journey to conceive for 8 years and after many IVF attempts we are off to India very soon... We are excited but also have millions of questions as its not like booking just any overseas holiday !!!! We have searched the web but this can be a confusing and fruitless effort as I have found alot of support pages are actually affiliated with particular clinics. Good for those using the clinic but not if u go to a different one. I have questions swarming around in my head... and I thought IVF was a bit overwhelming.

Sari/Michelle38 - thank you for jumping in here and identifying yourselves as people going through the process of surrogacy in India.

I am 38 and my husband is 45. After 4 years of TTC, 4 miscarriages at around 6 weeks, we have begun to realise that I am maybe not going to be able to carry a child longer than that time. We know our eggs and sperm are all good and not the problem for us. So we are now beginning to consider surrogacy in India. Any tips, info, websites, clinics etc you can share would be much appreciated. I can PM you my private email address and phone numbers to make it easier. Happy to call or email you too.

I suppose it is never going to be an easy process having been to India a few years ago for study and understanding that nothing goes smoothly over there. I have looked on the Indian Embassy website in Australia to see what is required by our government.

Cost is a big ??? for us as we have financially almost hit rock bottom with the IVF attempts.

Hi,

I don't really know where to post this, so since it's a surrogacy discussion, I am trying my luck here. I hope I don't offend anyone. I do apologise if it seems out of place :-(

I am 34 years old and live in Melbourne. I was diagnosed with uterine cancer earlier on this year which sent my partner and I on a major roller-coaster ride. This resulted in my having to have a hysterectomy as well as removal of my ovaries.

We have not had a chance to have children and I am still struggling to come to terms with the fact that I can't carry our baby. However we did manage to freeze 5 embryos before I had to have the surgery. Now that it's all over and I am in recovery ... I don't quite know where to go from here.

I know I have to find a SURROGATE mom and I would love for it to be in Australia ... but I feel so lost. I don't really know what to do or where to go to start this here in Australia.

Can anyone suggest anything? Has anyone gone through this and can offer some advice.

I have done a little reading into India also, but because we only have 5 embryos; I am very worried about the transporting of them all that way.

Michelle38, could you please Private message me to tell me which clinic and which transport company you used? India may end up being our only option ...

Thank you so much in advance!!! we really need all the help we can get.