First time trying, first miscarriage

Hi ladies
Its great to have this site to chat to you all on, apart from a wonderfully supportive husband (whos main concern is how I am doing), and wonderful friends that are saying...everything happens for a reason and whats meant to be is meant to be...I really am not sure if anyone else understands...
As I am sure you all do.
I was 9 week pregnant on Monday when I went to met my OB, he checked my baby on the ultrasounds with no life, then did an internal, he told me there was no heartbeat...I was in complete shock and still am, I have had no cramps or bleeding, no morning sickness just tiredness and VERY sore breasts and I thought I had that pregnant glow also, I have been eating all the right things, taking non alcholic wine to birthdays and my 30th birthday last sunday! I even made up a whole batch of chemical free house cleaners...we had been trying for about 6 months.
So this week has been one I will never forget, I went and got a second opinion on Tuesday, then on Wednesday I had a D&S, (which was absolutely pain free and I am so pleased I had this procedure done as I dont think I could handle the waiting for it to come naturally,)
Actually today I have had no cramping or bleeding..a bit strange I thought as I was expecting a lot of blood?
So I am just on this site trying to have some hope, trying to find out some reason as to why this happened, not just because whats meant to be is....I am pretty sure I had a 'blight ovum', I am really keen to grieve and heal then start trying again althought I know I need to take some time, I am imagine the fear and stress next time will be waiting until the 12 weeks is over (and oh boy this time I wont be announcing our news to a soul..unlike this time ( I was a little excited!!! naturally)

I would love to hear if anyone else has anything to say, I am not looking forward to going back to work on Monday, its feels like everyone elses life has just carried on, as it should but deep down I am still wondering how my baby could have been taken from me so early>??

Love to you all

......

Im so sorry for your loss Questions.

I suffered my m/c @ 8 weeks and it was also my first pregnancy, so I fully understand what you are going through. On a good note I became preganant on the very next cycle and my baby girl just turned one this week!

Let yourself greive and look after yourself.

Kate

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry. RIP little angel X

There are plenty of us here for guidance and support whenever you need us, this place has been a saviour for me, the girls here are wonderful.

One thing I learned in a harsh way, and still do to this day, is the things people say to us, that is meant to make us feel better, but actually offends us.... Some people just don't get it.
I won't say unless you have lost in a way we have you have no idea how it feels, because there are also many women here who have not lost, and are just as thaughtfull and supportive.

I'm rambling, welcome to BB, in a nutshell take care of yourself, and best wishes on your TTC joiurney, hope you stay and join us X

Thanks ladies for your words, I am just a little confused now as to whether I should have even had a D&C done, as the first result at 6 weeks had a heart beat and then at 9 weeks they saw no heart beat, but a baby with no growth, I was meant to be 9 weeks 1 day but it picked up 8 weeks and 3 days...I have been looking at the misdiagnosised sites and althought its way to late not to change my mind, I am wondering if I asked more questions or did some more research before getting a D&C I may have had a baby that survived.
Very confused now! Way too many misdiagonsed stories on line!
x

Sweety don't think like that.
You need to allow yourself to greive and not make yourself feel worse than you already do.
My girlfriend took a long time to accept that she was no longer PG after having a D+C with no pain or bleeding, her body took a long time to accept it too.

You did the right thing, don't doubt what you have done.

Focus on healing, give your husband a hug and let him know everything will be ok, I'm sure he need some reassurance too.
Look after yourself and promise me, no more negative websites. ;)

I am soo sorry for your loss :hug:

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 9 weeks 4days and mine to was a blighted ovum :cry:

Please don't harm yourself further by playing the 'what if game'..you made a decision that was absolutely right at the time.

I absolutely understand your hesitation in going back to work but you will be amazed at how strong you are- you have already been through the hardest part.

Take time out to comfort yourself and DP.. don't rush your healing...grieve all you need and know that you have women here who have shared in the same experience than you who understands :comfort:

:heartbeat: DM

Hi Questions,

I'm so sorry for your loss hun :hug:. I absolutely agree with every one else about taking time to grieve for your little angel, that's so important in order for you to eventually move forward with TTC. I think most people mean well with saying 'everything happens for a reason', I am a big believer of that. When I lost my first little boy in 2008, I really struggled for a while, but with my DF's & my friends' support, I eventually got there.
Please don't question your actions going through with the D&C as it was the right choice for you hun. Unfortunately sometimes the little one has a HB at 6 weeks but further down the track it fails to progress as it should, and it really is the natures way of letting us know there was something wrong. Nature can be very cruel sometimes, but it does serve a purpose.
When you are ready you will try again, and chances are your second pg will be fine. Don't give up hun, it's amazing how many first time pg end up in m/s, but subsequent ones are OK. I did find the second time around hard, perticularly for the first 12 weeks!
GL and I wish you all the very best in your journey.

Beata x