Our Loss

We lost our baby at 13 weeks 2 weeks ago I'm sure it was a boy. I was so looking forward to annoucing to friends at a Kids Christmas party that I had organised that I was pregnant. Instead I had to put on a brave face with one girlfriend heavly pregnant and then two others turned up to annouce that they were pregnant one due around the same time. I found this very hard as they were talking about their pregnancy and asking if I would get pregnant again given what I went through with my little girl. I'm so scared about getting pregnant again I so want to have another baby but my first baby who is now 2 years old was not an easy pregnancy and ended in NICU as she was born at 32 weeks and 3 days. I feel so alone as my friends either are pregnant so I don't want them to know about my miscarriage and my other close friend has her own issues and my other close girlfriend that I thought would be supportive and knows about my miscarriage has not contacted me and my family as my mother said to me a few days afterwards "Are you over it now". I really feel that it is a private pain. I'm lucky that I have a wonderful husband who has been through so much with our first child its just awful to see such pain on his face again. I don't know if I can go through this pain again or put my husband through it either but I so want to have another baby a healthy baby.

first of all lot's of cyber :hug: it is hard when you don't have anyone in real life to be able to talk about how you are feeling. I am sure you will find lot's of support here. I am glad your husband is being supportive too.

I am so sorry for your loss :comfort: :hug:

Just wanted to give u some big hugs. I am so sorry for your loss.

It's so hard :hug:

Could your husband have a quiet word with your friends at all? Just so they know - they may feel awful about hurting you without realising it.

If at all possible, try to prepare yourself for how *stupid *unfeeling *hurtful *ignorant some people can be about miscarriage. Some don't mean it and and have no idea. Some think it is helpful to tell you to 'get over it' or that you can try again.

When I suffered a loss I thought it would be a private thing I had to nurse on my own but I found that 1) people came out of the woodwork saying they had experienced a loss too and 2) there was so much compassion and support on Belly Belly that cushioned the pain a little...and I haven't left here since.

Welcome to Belly Belly, I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances but I hope you find it is as good for your soul as it has been for mine. xoxoxo

So sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through right now. I found with some of my friends they didn't know what to say so they just avoided me. I'm so glad your husband is supporting you and you can both grieve together. After losing Emmanuel I desperately wanted another baby but was also scared of having another loss and putting my family through more pain but we did fall pregnant again and had a beautiful healthy girl. I hope you feel a little better sharing your story here with us and I wish you all the best.

Regards,
Dianne