co-sleeping, i'd like to, but . . . ?

hello girls!

The more i read about co-sleeping the more i'm inclined towards it, but i think i have a few hurdles in the way . . .

My man only comes home late on friday nights after working all week in melb, and leaves sunday nights, i dont think given our limited chances for intimacy, that it would be too healthy to co-sleep?

Further to above, if i were to co-sleep during the week, i'm guessing it would be detrimental to bubs to put it in the bassinette for the remaining 2 nights my man is home? The bassinette is in our room with us, though bubs has it's own room for when it's too big for bassinette.

Also, i dont smoke but he does, so what is the go with the non-smoker rule, is it referring to those who will smoke inside, or those who smoke outside but still have the smell lingering on them on return?

Or for the sake of routine should i stick to the bassinette full time, and just have it next to bed?

I have my bub in bed with me most of the time, but put him in the bassinette if i wake up and he's asleep. He doesn't mind being moved. The co-sleeping is more for my benefit as I got a lot less sleep with my first bub when I sat up for his feeds (and found myself falling asleep falling up - not safe for baby!) This time I attach him & go back to sleep.

If it weren't for your man smoking I'd say just put bubs in the bassinette for intimate time & bring baby back to bed next time s/he wakes. But 'cause of the smoking I'd say just keep bubs in the bassinette when your man is home and co-sleep while he's away if you want.
HTH

could you co-sleep part time? i.e.` bubs goes to sleep initially in the bassinette, but after they first wake up during the night you have them in bed with you? This is what I do occasionally, sometimes DD won't go back to sleep after her night feed, or is taking ages to go back to sleep. When all I want to do is go back to bed I give up trying to get her back to sleep in her cot and pop her in bed with me. DF doesn't like it much, but he's not the one getting up to her all the time!

That way your baby should be used to sleeping on their own for the first part of the night, and you and DH can have some time alone. or you could always explore other areas of the house while bubs is sleeping in your room!

DF does smoke but I'm not overly worried about it, I sleep between him and DD (so I'm in the middle and DD is on the outside) so she isn't close to him if she does come into bed with us.

A friend of mine who co-slept was asked by her co-worker how she managed to DTD - her reply was "you must have a pretty boring sex life if you only do it in your bed and at night". I don't think co-sleeping has to interfere with intimacy - it might just mean doing things a little differently.

As for the smoking, as has been said, the baby should be on the other side of the mum anyway, so that shouldn't be an issue.

of course on the sex life, i should have thought of that! Hehe!

The man does smoke outside, but it really does hang on him, so yeah i guess those would be bassinette nights, at least to begin with anyways.

Actually that makes the most sense, starting in bassinette, as i'm a night owl, so i'd be up for hours anyways, tired or not :-)

Thankyou girls! I've been mulling over this for a while now, and in the space of a couple hours you've managed to make it so clear for me! Much appreciated!

Oh, one other thing, mozzie control. A net is not practical as it's a wicker bassinette, and when i tested with the net there were still ways for the bugs to get in through the wicker, actually scarily enough, a spider got in! We dont have a bug zapper yet, on the cards, funds depending, but i usually burn citronella candles, is that ok with bubs around?

Havent read your other replies so im probably repeating.... but DD goes to bed in her room and i bring her in with me when she wakes up, anywhere between 12 and 3. If im really tired i bring her in with me, get her to sleep and then take her back to her room.
DH smokes a little still, so DD doesnt sleep in the middle, i have a bed rail that you use on a todler bed.
I think its fine to have DD in with you for a few days. sometimes i will stay in DDs room and settle her and put her back into her cot, if DH is sick or been out drinking. And she is fine with that, wakes up at 5 and comes in then.
But i find that co sleeping saves my sleep, otherwise my day would start at 3am most days...getting up to resettle her takes an hour, then im awake and by the time im just getting back to sleep its 5am and she is awake again!
I say go for it :)

Yeah, what everyone else has said with the co-sleeping :) if you are really worried about the smoking, get dh to have a shower and change clothes before he goes to bed.

With the mozzies, have you tried one of those Mortein plug in doovies, with the little blue discs that slide out? They are not smelly and quite safe (at least until bubs is crawling ;))

ETA-BTW- I'd highly recomend co-sleeping :) I wish I'd done it earlier with ds- it would have made life much easier.