So far I think I am, but I'm not far in.
A lot less patience than I thought I had though :redface:
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So far I think I am, but I'm not far in.
A lot less patience than I thought I had though :redface:
Ummm I don't really know. We knew what type of parents we didn't want to be, but didn't really have a formed idea of what type we did want to be if that makes sense? I guess we just decided to roll with the punches. As you get older and your children get older your parenting evolves and adapts anyway I've found so the type of parent you wanted to be will probably be different to the parent you are in 20 years time kwim?
Good question Heaven!
I sometimes think I am and then other times I think I'm not at all! I have more patience than I thought I'd ever have in some instances and then in others I have none - 0 to irate in nothing flat! :redface: But I try really hard, so I think that counts!
I'd like to get more joy out of it, but I think that is coming now that DD is becoming more interactive. She's funny & cheeky and I like that about her.
BBL, DD isn't settling for a sleep.
i had hoped i would have more patience but i dont and sometimes i just have to give DS to DH and walk out because i get angry its not his fault its just me being a first time parent and not really knowing wat to do
my nieces mother was totally against smacking when she first had her but has since changed he attitude as this was the only thing that worked for her and her daughter i hope it doesnt come to that for me but it could happen u never know
and i do like the way my mother parents so i do model myself on her where i know a lot of ppl are opposite and dont want to be like their parents
Does that make sense?
I couldn't be more different to the parent I thought I would be (and that's a blessing, really!)
Before I had children I *knew* I would be a very organised mother. No child was EVER going to change my life. I was going back to full time paid work when my first was 6 weeks old. Although I was organised, I was fairly relaxed. My children would go to bed in their own rooms and sleep all night. I would "Breastfeed if I could" but I wouldn't be "one of those women who went on and on about it" and certainly wouldn't breastfeed a child old enough to walk or talk.
Well, the cosmos (and my first born) had another plan for me.
My life has changed more deeply, profoundly and for the better than I could have ever imagined. My firstborn taught me so much about mothering. He latched onto my breast before his feet were even born - and stayed there for four and a half years. He never slept, resisted my efforts at sleep school and controlled crying and gently worked himself into my bed and into my arms. He paved the way for me and his siblings.
I changed my career from teacher (yes, I did go back to paid fulltime work when he was 6 weeks old - what was I thinking? I never did that again after the first year....)
to breastfeeding counsellor (volunteer) and Lactation Consultant (paid) My children do tell me I go on and on about it....
I posted the last of my Xmas cards today - but the mail truck had already gone by the time I got to the local post office - but the thought will be still there when the mail arrives in the New Year... I've bought far too much plastic cr*p for the kids presents. I lose my temper too much with the kids, the house looks like hell and I didn't read to them enough. My sister always laughs at the way I 'tut-tutted' her boys playing with guns when she sees the violent video games my teenage sons play.
Overall, very different - but I couldn't be happier.
What an awesome post Barb :)
Nope, I'm not. I'm not as patient or as fun as I thought I'd be. Ds eas too much crap, and walks around with a dummy all day.
But I am a happy mum, they are happy kids, we have a lovely little life. I don't have the energy to be the mum I thought I'd be ;)
:
yeah that, well said!!!! ditto!
hmmm sometimes yes and sometimes no.
I have done stuff I swore I never would, and I have done stuff I never imagined could be done.
Totally agree with Trill about it evolving though. Parenting a three year old is waaaay harder than I could have imagined lol.
Barb that was a beautiful post and LorieRae - couldn't have said it better myself.
I was always worried that I wouldn't know what to do or how to interact with a baby, I think I've settled into it quite well, although I do get frustrated sometimes when she won't go to sleep and it's nearly 10pm...have had a few of those nights, she'll just cry and cry for an hour or two, I know she is tired, she knows she is tired but she just can't get to sleep (think it might be her teeth??)...so yeah when it's taking me that long to get her to go to sleep and I still have heaps to do before I can get to bed I do get cranky...I wish I didn't but I guess I'm only human.
I am wondering what I will be like as she gets older though, especially the terrible twos stage! But so far I think I am better than the parent I thought I would be..
:yeahthat::
I got hit hard with my issues and I wasn't ready. Now I don't know if I'll ever be ready to do parenting 'my' right way round.... but we're happy.
Great question Heaven - this is something I have been thinking about lately.
Sometimes I think I am the parent I thought I would be (or even a better one ;) ) but then other times I think, "this isn't the kind of parent I want to be/thought I'd be". Like you, it's early days for me too (I struggle to think how I'll cope with 2 year old behaviour :o ) but the times I think I'm letting him/me down are usually when I get frustrated with him and expect him to do something he's not (& it's usually sleep related!!). So it's not even my behaviour as a parent that I worry about, it's what's running through my head. I always wanted to be the kind of parent who accepted their kids for who they actually are and didn't try to make round pegs fit in square holes. He's not always a great sleeper and I still struggle to accept that sometimes :( I'm working on it though.
I am actually more patient than I thought I would be (or would have to be!)
The house is much messier and and I am much more disorganised than I thought I would be.
I also don't have as much energy as I thought I would have...but I have been pregnant or breastfeeding or both since January 2006 so I'll cut myself some slack there.
I breastfed DS for 18 months or so when I was only going to "see if I could get to 3 months."
We have one child or another in bed with us every night...something else that was never going to happen.
Ultimately...I am a better mother than I thought I would be!
Much more patient than I thought!
Very 'soft' which I think is great. Very forgiving and understanding- much more than I ever thought I would be.
My DD and DS have given me such blessed gifts with their arrival!
I am more content with motherhood than i feared i'd be. after everything we'd been through, i thought i would put a lot more pressure on myself to do the Mummy thing perfectly. but i'm not perfect, and i'm ok with that. i have days where i'm not as patient as i could (and probably should) be - but i know it's related to tiredness and DD teething.
DD appears to be happy and healthy. we function beautifully as a family unit. She has a fantastic and bubbly personality. overall, i am content. what more could a mummy want?
:redface: no i am a lot less patient then i thought i would be and i give up and give dd to dh hen she is in hysterics.
But i am stronger then i thought i would be, even though we're still new to the game, i have pushed on with bf and not given in to well meaning peoples ideas on what i "should" do re feeding.
and poo hoo to the people who said i would quit mcn after a week - i love my mcn and love knowing i am doing something good by the environment.:lol:
i don't have the energy i thought i'd have... i'm not really interested in 'playing' with my dd, i know that sounds awful.... i LOVE cuddles, reading stories, kisses, baths, closeness, togetherness, talking, saying i love you, i'm just not into playing with leggo, building towers, playing hide and seek etc..... although i am 9 months pregnant so maybe i can be forgiven, but even when not pregnant, its just not something i like doing, which i wish i did.... luckily my DP is quite good at it, so hopefully there is balance.
i look forward to doing things i will be a bit more interested in, taking her to dancing lessons, going to the movies, shopping, ummmmm just things i suppose that are a bit more grown up.... although i don't wish the baby years away, i am looking forward to the future....
I think like Trill, my parenting has changed over the years and is probably a bit different which each child as they are different.
I have now been a parent for 18 years and thats astonsihing to me sometimes!! I think I have become a much better parent with experience but I am also far less judgemental about ther people's parenting than I was too.
I am the mum to a teenager I wanted to be as in I have a very open relationship with her and I get on well with her friends (they call me Mummy Chris) but I don't think I am as good with the younger two. Sometimes I feel like I fail them (actaully some days i feel like i failed them all TBH)
Some days yes alot of days no :( But I think sooo many of us have too high expectations! We all have so much to do particularly if you have multiple children and/or work and/or look after a home...a partner...extended family...studies...friends...volunteering....I could go on and on!
Being an early childhood worker, I thought it would be a natural, normal progression to my own family, but oh boy, was I WRONG!!! It is sooo tough being a parent. It changes you into such a different person. I have patience if I have had a decent amount of sleep. But often that is not the case and I lose it. Then I beat myself up about it because it's not their fault, it's mine and I'm not being an adult and contolling myself like I should.
But on the good days we do all the stuff I dremt I would- paint, play playdough, 'broom broom' cars around, play chase and tickle, go to the park, eat enough fruit and veggies, don't eat any packet/sugary/salty/fake food. But on thise days, I haven't worked, I haven't sleaned the house much, dinner is something simple, I haven't had errands to run. It's been all about the kids on those days, and realistically it can't be those days every day, no matter how much I wish it could be!!