Nothing like support...

my mother hasn't been supportive of us having IVF to get pregnant because she think DH should have had a vasectomy reversal instead. She's always grumbled "how long are you going to keep doing 'this'?", meaning how long before we 'throw in the towel' & have a reversal. Like this if that was an option, we wouldn't have taken it??

So tonight, we was ****ed at me because a woman I know is thinking about embarking on the same process (ICSI). They've had a much longer lapse in time since the vasectomy, so this really would be their only option (besides donation). She started biting at me, spitting that not every one can afford what we have done, and there are other options, etc. Umm... no - no other options unless they are willing to accept a donation (which I think they would prefer to try to have thier own baby).

So finally I said, ":I know you have never approved of what we did, and you think we should have just had a reversal", and she says...

"It may seem harsh, but that process is more like a business transaction - akin to having a boob job in Thailand"

:o:jawdrop::cry:

Instead of being completely speechless (much like I am now... I feel very short of breath just thinking about it), I told her that was extremely crass, and the FACTS are (from our specialist) that a reversal would have been doubtful to work, and the turn-around-time for the sperm to start functioning properly again & make it through the tubes could take ages - plus would never return to 'full strength', so we would potentially have compromised sperm quantity & quality.

I'm actually quite upset about what she said and how thoughtless a supposedly educated woman is - and that she has NO experience or foundation for her rediculous beliefs/ideas. I think she would have preferred me go though potentially years of struggle & heartache than taking her perceived 'easy road'. I tell you, two failed transfers didn't feel easy.

I'm meant to walk the dogs with her tomorrow morning, but I just don't want to be near her. I may tell her to eff off & she can wait for her my siblings to provide her with a non-plastic version of a grandchild... but I wouldn't hold my breath.

:hug:

Don't know what to say, but I didn't wanna just read and leave :hug:

Some people can be so insensitive - it only makes them look stupid, it doesn't reflect on you darl :comfort:

:hug:
Oh boy, your mum has some issues with this, hey?
Maybe avoiding her for a bit would be a good idea - give it time for your response to sink in. Maybe she'll come round and realise what's important here - her daughter is having a baby!!!
:hug:

Oh She's excited about the baby - no love lost there. Just the process that she harbours massive misconceptions about.

I'm going to walk the dog with her today. I'm still not happy, but if it comes up again, I will tell her that.

One thing that really bothers me is that she can pass judgement on me, yet my siblings are so disfunctional, they're permitted to behave anyway they like, with only a 'they had a hard childhood' from her. Um... I remember having the same childhood & yep I'm held to different standards. Including conception!

ANyway... thanks for hearing me vent. :)

:hug: oh hun dont really no what to say so heres a hug.

She apologised as soon as we set off for the walk. I did reiterate that it was crass, offensive & very very misinformed. And that although a reversal is always a procedure that was available - our specialist (you know - that guy that went to uni for years & does this EVERY day for a living) recommended against it. She was much more accepting today.

Thanks for the hugs guys. :)