sucking thumbs versus dummies

I am interested to see peoples points of view on this dummies versus thumbs and the pros and cons of each. What does you baby/toddler do and why did you go with this choice??
DH wants dd to have a dummy which i am not keen on and I would prefer her to suck on me or her thumb BUT wonder if this will be a problem later on afterall you can take away a dummy but you cannot remove a thumb :lol:

DD loves to suck and is sucking almost constantly atm so i am not sure what to do so i need to hear about what other people have done.

cheers nae x

Before I had DS I have to admit I was anti-dummy... But then I read a few threads on here and changed my tune. I think there are times when a dummy will be the only thing that will help them settle. So my attitude has always been that if we need to give him one we will. So far we really haven't had to give him one, there have been a couple of times when he's been teething that we've tried it but TBH I think he is a bit old to have it introduced now.

I do however like having one in the house. I give it to him when he has his immunisations as I think the sucking helps to keep him calmer. But generally speaking he sucks on pretty much anything. He does suck his thumb occassionally, but chews on it most of the time. I also give him a little muslin square when he goes to bed so he can suck on that.

Sorry, I've rambled a bit. I guess my point of view is that if you don't have to give them one, then why start something that has the potential to become a major PIA in the future iykwim?

i was vey anti dummy while pg, i heard all the horror stories.. "they can suck them until theyre 4-5" , "if you loose it and dont have a back up ..." " they can give babies tummy aches if they arent properly cleaned" as well as it causing problems with teeth develpoment if used for too long.. im not saying all these things are true, this is just some of the things id heard.
but since having DD there have been a couple f times (not many tho) where ive thought.. "if only i had a dummy..." Dh is totally against her using a dummy, and this is part of the reason, coz im pretty sure i would have caved by now (there was a week there where she was really unsettled) most of me is really glad that ive stuck it out and havent given her a dummy, but she sucks on her hands a fair bit (and i know this is really normal, she's only just founf hr hands LOL) i just hope it doesnt turn into thumb sucking coz i think that looks really bad :(
Its totally up to the parent.
Tho is would be much easier to get rid of a dummy habit than a sucking the thumb habit.

DD2 made the decision for us, she is so bad at keeping a dummy in her mouth it was never possible to give her 1 unless we were holding her. She now sucks her thumb in bed as she goes to sleep for a couple of minutes then she stops, she doesn't suck her thumb any other time.

DD1 had a dummy until she was just over 2 we thought it was going to be a big drama taking it away but it wasn't.

TBH im anti both of them - i really don't like seeing children walking around with a dummy or thumb in mouth, when they are babies its cute, but older..... But in saying that DD ended up with a dummy while i was still in hosp! it turned out to be a godsend and she only had it when going to sleep, never when awake! however couldn't wait to get rid of it and by i think it was 5mths it was all gone!
If i had to choose - i would go the dummy - u can get rid of a dummy but u can't get rid of the thumb!

I dislike dummies not against them just hate seeing kids walkign round shopping centres sucking on them... that said

DS1 used a dummy occasionally for first 6 weeks when sleeping just when he needed a little comfort then he found his thumb :dance: he sucked his thumb till he was about 2 1/4 yrs then stopped

DS2 uses a dummy I hate hate hate it he seems to need it to comfort we keep trying to get him to find his thumb but no luck yet, he is 10 1/2 weeks, if he need to keep using one for his comfort not for us IYKWIM!! so be it, but once he is walking its gone... and only for sleepig etc I will not have him walking round shops house

I loooooooooooooooove dummies! I have used one on all of my babies, even though I was 100% certain I wasn't going to. My DS1 threw his out of his pram when he was almost 1... I tried to give him the spare one I had for him and he threw that too... that marked the end of dummies for him.
None of my children have used dummies in public when of walking age. Dummies have been used for settling only, not to be sucked on when they want it. I have always tried to limit sucking time too. DS2 was so my recent one to give up dummies. I just took them all away... outta sight, outta mind. We had a few sooky nights sleep but everything was fine afterwards.

I think it all comes down to how you allow your child to use their dummy... that is my issue with thumb sucking, you can't make it something they only do when going down for a sleep IKGWIM. my MIL was a thumbsucker right up until she passed away... she hated it but it was a habit she found impossible to break.

I chose to use a dummy as DD had a lot of wind as a baby and it seemed to help. I don't like sucking thumbs because I was told by a dental nurse that it can cause issues with their teeth.

We were going to take it as it came WRT using a dummy. We never used them excessively where they had a dummy in all the time, because there really isn't need for them to have one if they are happy and don't need comforting kwim? So we used it as a comfort item only for sleeping. We never had trouble taking it off DS1 and DD1 - DS was 6mths old and DD1 gave hers to santa just after she turned 2. BUT then we had DD2 who was a thumb sucker from birth and here we are 5.5yrs later and she is still sucking her thumb. Not as much lately because I actually have to cut that thumbnail now whereas before I never had to cut it because she sucked it all the time. Whenever she is tired or going to sleep she will suck it and we've tried everything to get her to stop and nothing works. But she is growing out of it very very slowly.

DS2 still has a dummy - 6 of them in fact LOL and he only uses them for sleep still and we will probably start to think about taking it off him soon.

I was a thumb sucker from birth until I was about 8ish. I have no problems with my teeth from it. My parents never worried about me sucking my thumb but other people always commented. As I got older I felt embarrassed by it so only ever sucked my thumb at home.

My kids were offered a dummy from birth. They actually gave DS one in hospital, I can't remember the reason for it atm. At 5 mths old DS started refusing it so I didn't give it to him again. DD1 on the other hand had hers until she was 2. DD2 never used one, she jsut didn't take to it.

I'm in the anti crowd too. That said DS has a dummy. We realised pretty quick that he is just one of those babies that needed to suck and I wasn't prepared to be his dummy through BF or finger in his mouth. So we gave him one when he was about 2 weeks old.

I personally was a thumb-sucker and it caused me no end of embarrassment even though I stopped in public at a very early age. I sucked it until I was 12. Imagine going to sleep-overs with this embarrassing little habit. :redface: I stopped because I needed to have orthodontic work because my jaw didn't grow properly due to said habit and it gave me a receding chin. I was given a plate to wear which sat in my whole mouth overnight, making it impossible to put my thumb in. If I hadn't have been given that I might possibly still be sucking my thumb..... Oh and that stuff you paint on your nails to make them taste bad to stop the habit - doesn't work, you get used to the taste and then you eventually suck it off the nail and problem is solved.

My twin SILs still suck theirs - they are 24 years old. :o

So any day of the week I would choose nothing over anything, or dummy over thumb if you have to because you can help them break the habit. I would always actively discourage any type of thumb/finger/hand sucking or chewing.

i WAS anti Thumbs/fingers cos YK its easier to throw away a dummy then a thumb or finger.. then i had my son who is a thumb sucker from day dot!
DD had a dummy and what a pain in the but that was. i always had to re plug her or remember to take one if not a spare with us...

DS still at 4 sucks his thumb when he is chillin out or going to sleep but no other time. we will be looking at some dental work for him later in life due to it. but i am not going to stop him until he is ready(i sucked my fingers until i was 12, which is why i was against thumb sucking)
DD her dummy went over the side of the cot a week before she was 1 and i couldnt be bothered with it any more, she then used me as a dummy instead(yes i allowed it) she recently found one and became attached to it but boy was it easy to get her to sleep with one!

next baby.... well what ever if it likes its thumb/fingers or need a dummy or would prefer more boob it can have it, this one isnt a life altering decision(well apart from braces and possible ridicule ;) ) im happy to go with the child on this one.

Thanks everyone for your responses.
It certainly is interesting to see what and why people chose what they did. Both my brother and I were thumb suckers and we both had broken the "habit" before kinder and neither of us have ever needed orthodontic work ... DH was a dummy sucker.

I really don't mind DD using me though it can be exhausting at the end of the day she kind of puts her hand to her mouth and "mouths" but hasn't sucked iykwim she just makes a face and moves it away though this could still be an involuntary thing ...

I dunno ... I really don't want to encourage thumb sucking nor do I want to give her a dummy - I wonder if people get away with not using anything except themselves??

please keep experiences etc coming

Nae x

I have a friend who has not used a dummy ever and her little one doesn't need to suck to settle. So I think it is down to a combination of what kind of child you have, what kind of patience you and partner have and how prepared you are to try and prevent the dummy/thumbsucking.

I mentioned in my previous post that I wasn't prepared to be DS's dummy. That is purely because I just felt suffocated and a loss of independence from him being constantly attached or with my finger in his mouth, not because I was afraid of him forming bad habits. But that is purely a personal choice. Just like I loved having him in the sling and with me (kind of contradicts what I just said though :lol:) but I know others that just needed the physical space and so couldn't stand a sling or carrier of any kind. We all have different levels of tolerance so as always - we as mothers know what is best for our baby!!

Hi Nae.
I have a lot of friends where their little ones don't use anything!!! My first 3 all required dummies both DD's loved to suck and would for hours on end, so the dummy was the only solution....either that or very sore boobies that did'nt get a chance to heal.:o
DS had bad reflux and needed it to help with the pain. Poppy really liked the comfort of sucking but was'nt so keen on the dummy, but as soon as she got a hand out of her wrap it was in her mouth, we like it... reasons
1: its easy!!! You never have to hop up during the night to find a lost dummy.
2: it looks cute, we might decided later on that it is'nt so cute but at the moment.;)
3: Cheap, dummies cost a fortune even the cheap ones, they always get lost at the most inapporiate times.

Reasons why not: I am super paranoid about all the gross things that get touched,eg: play centres trips :shakehead: then her thumb goes in her mouth, with a dummy you make sure its clean and if it gets dropped you have a spare etc.

I do wonder how long she might suck her thumb for??? Dummies are easy enough to throw away around 2 years. Often they will do it themselves.

See how you go often bubs will make the decision eg: thumb sucking when they get old enough.

Nae - i started off ok with DD using me as a pacifier - but she can't do that when we're in the car, and given that i have to go out at times, i introduced the dummy. she only uses it if distressed in the car (is more likly to chew on the handle than to suck anyway!), or when she is going to sleep - it lasts for all of about a minute once she is asleep (if she hasn't spat it already) - she doesn't seem hooked on it, and we're content with that. she does chew on her fingers a bit - so we're trying to discourage that as much as possible as it's not something i want her in the habit of - mum did fdc and i seen too many kids sucking their thumbs and having problems with their teeth

Hi Nae!

Dont mind me pointing out the obvious but the only one you can control is dummy sucking. If they want to suck their fist or thumb they'll just go ahead and do it. ;)

I refused the dummy but sucked my thumb from day dot, more or less. I sucked it until I was 10. At 13 I had 6 teeth removed followed by 4 years of orthodontic work.

My sister had a dummy and threw it out the car window when she was two and that was that!

We have dummies for DD but she's not dependent on them at all. I always have them available but often she doesn't need them or isn't interested. If she goes to bed with one, she spits it out as she drifts off - always. She never cries out for it once she's done that. When we witness her doing it you can see that she's at that point, so close to sleep, that she's thinking 'thanks dummy, I'm done with you for now' and she spits it out then off to sleep she goes. It's so damn cute!!

So no matter what your DD uses to settle her, she may not become dependent on it so try not to worry about what may or may not happen, just do what works for you now. Us mums have enough going on :)