sadmum,
i'm so sorry for your losses. My prayers are with you, your husband and precious Noah.
It's early, early days yet and your grief must still be so raw.
I can't imagine going through all those hours of physical pain in addition to the emotional pain of miscarriage.
I delivered my little boy at just 14 weeks with no birth pain other than some contractions that stopped after an hour or so. I too had seen the wee man waving and kicking just a short while before he left us.
Are you still waiting on test results for Noah or yourself?
I know that I felt very much in limbo while I waited to find out the results of the post mortem and it was almost as if I was stuck in a loop going through all the awful scenarios in my head.
I'm not saying it's been any easier since the results came back, in some ways I've found it harder, but I do think I'm moving forward now, not just going round and round in my own head.
I don't know if anything I've said will help but I know I support here just knowing there were people here who sadly had some idea of what I was experiencing. I wish it wasn't the case, nobody should have to go through this, but it did help to know about this little knot of strength in cyberspace!
Love to you and your little Noah.