Dealing with low(er) weight gains mentally .....

Hi

Just wondering if anyone whose baby has had lower weight gains has dealt with the issues mentally.

My little one's gains have been on the lower side of the charts - not worryingly low - but on the lower side. This has caused me no end of stress and anxiety since we started breastfeeding. As those of you who have read previous threads would know my BF journey has not been easy and while we got through a lot of the issues the weight gain still remains an issue for me. I have just been diagnosed with some PND which I believe in part has been caused by what I've gone through and which may be resulting in me being able to get comfortable with what he is doing weight wise.

I know I am not the first person to have a baby who has gained weight slowly but am interested in what you did to mentally get round this. My LO was 3.18Kg when he was born and at 15 weeks (less 1 day) is 5.06kg. He is happy, content, generally settled and has 5-6 wet nappies per day (i think they are okay) and poos either every day or every two days. So on the one level I know that things are allright but on the other level (and guess this is the PND kicking in) I struggle with not worrying about his weight.
My doctor who I spoke to about the PND explained it to me as your rational side and emotional side not being able to communicate. So on one level you know everything is okay but on the other level you can't stop worrying and being anxious.

Any other hints or ideas from mums who have gone through his issue on how you dealt with it would be wonderful.

Thanks Meadsie

:comfort: My DS had slow weight gains and was getting lower and lower on the charts. The stress kept me on a rollercoaster with my supply and I couldn't stop stressing about it, even though DS, like yours, was happy, contented and nappies were being soiled appropriately.

The problem is I don't think I did get through it mentally. I just did what I had to do to get through each day. Not weighing often is probably the best thing, and if you do weigh don't look at it from one weigh to the next, look at it over a longer period of time etc.

If it helps, once my DS hit 6 months and started eating solids he just piled the weight on. He is still on the small side according to the charts, but it just doesn't bother me anymore because I 'just know' how well he is doing. But it wasn't until he started solids that I started to be comfortable about it.

Sorry I know that really wasn't much help, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone :hug:

Just remember that you will still have a pregnancy hormone hangover, and also BF hormones are still settling so it really isn't any wonder that it can take months and months to feel ok about it all.

Hi Meadsie,
My DD was slow to gain weight and deemed a "failure to thrive" baby, great to instill confidence in a brand new mum :rolleyes:. I struggled early on with breast feeding due to lack of support. I was exhausted and upset as I ended up being railroaded into comp feeding and I was pumping at any spare moment to try and up my supply. It was really stressful. i just wanted to offer some :hug: and say that i am sorry you are going through this tough time. I hope the cloud starts to lift soon.
I tried to stay positive by not taking a lot of what some health professionals said to me to heart ( a nurse told me my baby was not crying for milk because she was too weak to cry, she was certainly not too weak to cry!!)
I also ended up not obsessively weighing her all the time as it was adding to the stress, just went off the number of wet nappies etc
Have faith in your body and your ability as a mother. You are doing a great job and your LO is doing all the right things, you know them better than anyone x

DD1 was always little and gained slowly - at 12 months she was 7.6kg and on the 3rd percentile. She never looked underweight so it didn't really bother me too much and i tried not to get her weighed that often. She was gaining steadily so even though it wasn't a lot it was consistent. She is now just a tall slender pre-schooler. I look at her and think that she is lucky as she probably won't have the weight issues I have.

Now I am worried about DD2 being too fat! She is the opposite and is a little chubba bubba so I am concerned that she might end up overweight :wall: There's always something to worry about!

Dear Meadsie,

You've had a tough road. It's a good thing that you PND has finally been diagnosed. I wonder if you have commenced treatment for it? Many mothers worry that drugs prescribed for PND will cause problems for their breastfeeding babies - but this is not the case, and you can adequately be treated and continue to breastfeed. After a few weeks while you recieve the right balance of medication you will find you are able to be more confident and less stressed with your mothering. Other forms of treatment are also available. The Australian Breastfeeding Association's booklet (written in conjunction with PANDA) is a great read and available for only $5 from Australian Breastfeeding Association
Personal Experience....all my babies started off, at birth in the high percentiles - I grew a good baby in there. Over the first months they crossed over to a growth pattern more in keeping with their genetics. This meant that they went rapidly from the 70th percentile to the 10th, and the 80th percentile to the 3rd. With my first people "got in my ear" and convinced me to give formula which nearly cost my breastfeeding relationship. With my second I had more confidence. Daniel never ever ever gained more than 100g per week. At 14 he is probably still on the 3rd percentile - but, hey, some-one has to be there. He's finally had a growth spurt and is nearly as tall as me. He is gorgeous, perfect surfy boy with a wide circle of friends and a great (if a little scathing) sense of humour. He is himself - he was never going to be any different
Hindsight is great - as a new mother, you don't know how it will unfold, but you are doing a great job withyour little one.

Meadsie :hug: I know where you are coming from. I've been there.

My DD had very slow weight gains from the start and in those early weeks sometimes didn't gain much and even had a few losses thrown in there too :( (we had many BF issues also that lasted til DD was 4mths of age!)... weak suck and poor attachments for weeks and weeks led to low milk supply so my milk had trouble establishing properly in the early weeks and therefore DD had trouble gaining weight. She was also a tired lazy feeder so would fall asleep at the breast, she'd get exhausted easily. It was tough. A big cycle!

Every time DD was due to be weighed (weekly) I would get so nervous and felt like such a bad mum if she hadn't put on much weight even though i was working so hard to get her to gain weight (we even had top up feeds of EBM and formula for weeks at one stage) on top of Breastfeeds. When all the other mum's in my mum's group had their babies weighed and were putting on 300g a week in the early weeks my little girl was maybe only putting on 80g in a week!! Sometimes less.... it got me really down but I just had to take each day at a time and look at the weight gains over the course of a month rather than weekly gains..... that made it easier. Some weeks were good others not so good....

It wasn't until DD was about 6 mths old that I actually started to relax about her weight gains as from about 4-5mths old her weight gains seemed to be really good and my milk supply great etc and everything FINALLY fell into place for us.... that will happen for you too and you won't always be so worried about these weight gains.
And remember too some babies just aren't big gainers of weight, as long as bub is happy, content, responsive and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies then usually all is going well!

You are doing a wonderful job. :hug:

:hug: Meadsie. You have had a difficult start hun, but have done a fantastic job. I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling so much. I really hope that you are able to find a treatment plan which helps you to regain your confidence and peace soon :hug:

I think ultimately I realised that the proof is in the pudding. DS put on about 100g per week in the first 3 months (dropping from the 90th-odd percentile to the 30th), but he grew and developed and pooed & peed and cooed and smiled and....finally I believed my eyes and was able to quell those doubts. It just took time.
:hug:

Hi ladies

Sorry this is late but thank you so much for your wonderful responses to my post and for sharing your personal experiences with me. It is reassuring to know that I my feelings on the issue are normal for those that have experienced it before.

I've felt a lot calmer about the whole issue this past week and am going to try to do something this week that I haven't done so far since he's been born and NOT weigh him. I know it will be difficult but am going to give it my best shot - that way I can concentrate on the positives rather than the "perceived"not so positives. Will let you know how I go.

Barb, my doctor did put me on some medication. I am lucky as she is very experienced in lactation and has explained to me that it is okay to continue breastfeeding. Hopefully I won't need to take it for very long.

Thanks again for all your continued support - it really does help.

Cheers Meadsie