DS is so worried

DS11 is such a worry wort. He is always worrying about something. This year he is in grade 6 and is already worrying about High School. He worries he won't be "cool" enough or won't make new friends. Last night he couldn't sleep, I asked him if anything was wrong, he said he was worried he wouldn't be able to find a girlfriend when he is older and wouldn't be able to get married :doh:. He has already drawn up a plan of his house but is worried he won't find a block of land in a Court, has to be a court not a Road or Street. He googled maps and found a Court in Melbourne but is worried I will miss him too much if he moves to Melbourne. I could go on and on about the things he worries about, I tell him all the time not to worry about things that are out of his control. Does anyone else have a child that worries like this?

Regards,
Dianne

Aww the poor little thing :(

It does sound a bit excessive worrying about things like that at that age Dianne. If I were you I would take him along to see someone about it so you can help him to get on top of his worries. Poor little guy deserves to enjoy things without having to worry all the time.

:hug: to you.

BIG :hug: for DS.

Him worrying about high school is completely normal as he is going into his last year of primary school. But him worrying about girlfriends and where hes going to live as an adult he shouldnt be worried about those at all, well not losing sleep over it. I think him seeing a counsellor might help him sort out his worries.

I hope he feels better soon.

I would get him to see a counsellor or someone who can help with his fear/worries as these are more than normal for his age (I am a teacher) Many of the universities run workshops/groups for anxious children, I know Maquarie Uni in sydney does.
When school goes back I will try and find some more info for you.
The other thing I have done in the past for kids very anxious about starting high school is a liason prog with the HS called a Transition to HS. It means the child has more visits to the school and spend more time preparing.

I have a worrywart son... it runs in the family :( I was the same. But it does sound a bit much. I would take him to a counsellor just so that they can give him some coping techniques. :hug:

Thank you so much ladies. Anxious, is exactly the right word. DH is exactly the same, mrsmac I would love any info you can give me and I'll definately look into him seeing someone about techniques he can use to cope.

Regards,
Dianne

Have you done any relaxation with him Dianne?? If you google there will be heaps of different things, breathing exercises, meditation, etc. Good tools for him to use when he's feeling really anxious to help his body to calm down and help him get to sleep at night too. A good idea to get you started before you get to see someone.

My brother, who is almost 17, is EXACTLY the same. Part of it is character I think, but he definietely has more anxious tendancies than others, and some really over-the-top worries (I won't say irrational because a lot were quite rational, just really over-the-top, like your DS finding a block of land in a court!) and a counsellor really helped him. I hope you can work with him and help him, it sounds like he has an awful lot on his mind!

Poor lil fella. Those are big issues for an 11 year old to be contemplating... It sounds like he just can't stop his little brain from working overtime. It also sounds like he is rigid in his behaviour, which is commonly associated with anxiety (I mean in that he's got a fixed idea that he wants to live in a court, at all costs, and it is everything else has to fit into his idea, rather than adapting his idea to reality). Has he always been like this? Has anything difficult or traumatic happened of late? How does he handle stress?

I think he'd benefit from seeing a professional who can help him work through his anxieties and give him the tools & techniques to train himself to recognise 'worry thoughts' and stop himself in the process. Probably before high school where a whole new world of anxiety and insecurity can be opened up.

Best of luck with it & good on you for picking up on it. Together you can address it so that it doesn't become a problem that dominates his adolescence & adulthood.

He has always been like this, I will also look into relaxation for him. He's brain is always on the go and he's always thinking of something or planning to do something which is ok but yep the worrying about things in the future just didn't sit right with me. Thanks again ladies.

Regards,
Dianne

:hug: Even if he sees a counsellor, perhaps he'll be able to learn some tools to reassure himself.

He could just be a worry wort. By brother was the same growing up. He hated christmas night for years and wouldn't sleep, Mum always assumed it was because he was excited, but he usually stayed up worrying because a strange man was coming into the house! lol He was worried about santa because he didn't know him!
He is 20 now and not such a worry wort, but your son could just be someone that thinks a lot more then others, he over thinks things. I know i do. I have friends that are so carefree and have a relaxed attitude and it frustrates me! But you learn to live and somethings are not so worrying!!

I agree with the others, I think its really a good idea to get on top of things now. I have been a worrier since a child. I remember at the age of 5 thinking I don't want to die because its forever and ever and ever and ever and then thinking time goes on forever and ever and ever and I can't even say how long its going to go for lol I have always worried about something and I agree that it can sometimes run in the family. However it got to the stage of panic attacks as an adult so I saw a psychologist and it really helped.

I haven't read the other posts - so I'm sorry if I'm doubling up on comments - but that sounds like a classic anxiety disorder

Easily treated though - get him along to your GP for a referral to a counselor and they will help him with age appropriate coping techniques when his thoughts are getting the better of him.

It sounds like he is an extremely thoughtful young man, a very forward thinker (which is a fantastic trait to have) sounds as though he just needs to refocusing :hug: