how to deal with her screaming

I need some help or reassurance about Nina's screaming antics at the moment.
It started about a month ago, and it's getting a lot worse. It's happening at all different times of the day, and we haven't really been able to pin-point why it's happening. Last night for example, she was in the shower with me and I got some soap on my hands and touched her on the arm (I think) to wash her, and she just screamed. And when I say scream, it's an in-your-face scream that is so loud that I honestly thought the mirror would crack. She'll just stand there and scream in my face. And it's just so loud. We have tried everything that we can think of to calm her down. DH and I are fairly soft spoken people, and we try to do this with her. We've even tried talking above her, and (ashamably) we've tried smacking her. Nothing is working. It'll last about 5-10 minutes (10 min at the most) then she's back to normal. Once it's over, we can talk to her about what happened, and we ask her to use her soft voice when talking to mummy and daddy. Which she seems to understand, at the time.
Has anyone else been through this? I've tried to talking to other mums who have kids around the same age as her, and I've tried to explain it to my mum, but all I'm getting is a blank look on their faces. They have no idea. And my mum keeps saying 'oh she can't be that bad'. But that's the thing, she is. You've got no idea how loud the scream is.
Please help, dh and I are butting our heads against the wall with this one.

hon...yes been there hon :hug:
referal time honey

How do you deal with it at the time Maz? What do you say/do? I'm at a complete loss at the moment. It even scares Emily, she keeps saying 'nee nee, nee nee!' and wants to give her a cuddle. And we've had to warn our neighbours because it's so loud we were worried that they thought we were laying in to her or something :redface:

When it happens here (yep still does on the occasion) we remove W from the room by just either picking up, giving him a big bear hug or gently moving him with our hand to their room so they can calm down in piece without saying one word. sometimes talking and trying to calm down can drag it out and make the situation worse. we ever stop eye contact because its more to comprehend for him.

Maybe after an episode ask her why she screamed and she what she says. Id write down what has set her off and see if there is a pattern to, textures, pressures, noices ect.

My neighbours understand now what goes on....dont be ashamed babe....she's only little and there is no way you could be a child beater...your to gentle of a person for that

:hug: ring me if you need me babe

Thanks so much for that. I'll start making a list. :hug:

Think Maz has given some good advice.
Does it seem to be a sensory type thing? Are those the sorts of things that would set her off?

I don't know to be honest Shell. Off the top of our heads, we can think of a couple things:
Washing her hair/body - this is a common one
When she's tired and we ask her to do something
DH thinks it's because she's stubborn and bossy, and she just doesn't want to do as we ask. But I don't think it's just that. I think there's more to it. He's only seen it a couple of times, I've been dealing with this like I said for a month now, almost every day.

when did it start hon? When you fell pg? Was there a big change at all?
Did anything happen while you were away to set her off?

If you do feel concerned and think its more to it than just being stubborn maybe consider getting referral to a paed? At least that way you can get some advice and put your mind at ease.

Maz it started about a month ago. I can't think of anything that changed? It was before we went away. It also happens if we raise our voice at her. Not yelling, but a stern voice. She just goes absolutely beserk!
Thanks shell. I have an app with my dr next week and I'll talk to him about it then. It's really upsetting me and playing on my mind at the moment.

Has she been around other kids that are screamers?

From memory Jett went through a bit of a stage like that not long ago. Didnt last long but oh my would he scream (and he screams like a chick lol) if he got in trouble, if we spoke to him, if I touched him to move him/dress him anything like that. Drove me nuts. In the end everytime he did it I just screamed right back. Scared the begeebies out of him but it soon stopped the behaviour. I think because he saw how horrible it was. Sometimes now I still just scream at the top of my lungs if they are being esp naughty and I cannot distract their attention from whatever they are doing wrong. Naughty I know. Turns out there was a screamer at daycare and he was picking it up off him.

Not saying you should do this to Nina but its something to keep in mind if it turns out to just be one of those 3yo things they do. For us sometimes repeating what they do TO them makes them see why we dont like it being done in the first place.

Definately seeing the GP for a chat about it to ease your mind is a good idea too. Big hugs to you!

hey Jodi, I thought I'd check in and see how its all going. Any improvements?

There have been some improvements :) I've found getting down on her level and settling her by just giving her a hug is helping heaps. Thanks so much guys!