Sudden Overwhelming urge - real or?
So, a week and 2 days ago we lost our bubba. I was 8 weeks. This has been so hard for me, and when it happened, i swore to my ob (who was with me at the hospital through the loss) that i did not want to continue trying for awhile, that i just cant cope.
I didnt bother with contraception as the thought of sex made my skin crawl.
Then, 5 days after loosing bubs, DF and i were in bed and talking/grieving together, and well.... one thing led to another. I didnt care about the risk's of pregnancy (although with calculation i figured we would be safe), but it was so very intimate, and beautiful that i am now in his words " a sex crazed woman " .... because every night since we first DTD since loosing baby, i have wanted to DTD, and as it draws closer and closer to O time (which i can feel bulding, got all the normal symptoms nausea etc that i get before i O), i suddenly dont care. I want to be pregnant, i want to try again. But a week and a bit ago i was dead against it. I couldnt stand the thought.
I focused on the few things i wanted to achieve for this year, which i could still do, kind of.. but would have to delay it. That when i was pegnant i didnt care i would have to do, then when i lost the baby i couldnt stand the thought of trying again, of being pegnant. I told DF no more, i would go ahead with my plans and put of more kids for a few years.
But all of a sudden i want to be pregnant again. I wanna go again.
Is this real or is THIS apart of the grieving???
This didnt happen any of the other los's we have had. We have had more than i have in my sig, but some of them wernt confirmed (early loss's), but for example the last loss before this recent one, i didnt even consider sex or anything close for over 4 months, and then didnt wanna try again until 8 months after.
I am now coming up to the days before O which are optium to try for another bub, and the drive to make love is stronger than ever before. I dont know if this is real and if we should or if this is a trasnitionary thing that would pass and i would then regret it?
DF is so ok with whichever way we go, he is okay to wait he is okay to go again. Doesnt help but then his support and such is so nice and comorting to know he is happy to just go with what i feel i can and cant do.
I would love some advice, as i havent been here....
AND.... this is silly but the due date we would have (which i know due dates mean jack but we all know how much we focus on them), but our new due date would be 10/10/2010.. which is just a deal breaker.... making me want to try even more!!
PLEASE if you have been here or have experience, is this real or is this part of my loss?
also i am sorry if this doesnt make sense...
xo
I dont have any experience
I say definately go for it. If that is what your body is saying go for it, as for the 10/10/10 as soon as I read that I had a so called sign, sounds weird I know but I think if you want to try then go for you, I think you will be pleasantly suprised. Goodluck darl let us know how things go.
