Our Weaning Journey

Here is our epic weaning story!!!! (sorry- its really really loooooong)I am 14 weeks pregnant and until last week i was still feeding DS to sleep. i made the decision that i wanted to wean- as i didnt want to tandem feed and i wanted DS to be in a well set routine and off the boob for a good amount of time before bubs arrives. Also I needed DH to be able to put him to bed- as i couldnt be in two places at once- so i decided to seriously start weaning. DS was about 15 months when i started.

DS has always been a huge feeder- and i was a quite slack "putter to bedder lol" he used to run a muck most of the night- we had the dinner bath routine down pat- but from there he would feed- nearly go to sleep- jump up and run around and play- muck around- i would try laying in bed with him (cot matress on the floor) but he would just jump up and go see daddy!! usually i would get the poo's and retreat to the lounge room and eventually wait til he came to me and finaly settled, then i would put him to bed asleep- or close to it and still have to lay there with him and feed till he was asleep asleep.....

So i knew this had to change drastically before bubs comes along- as i cant be doing that with a new baby... so we started about two months ago- maybe a bit longer- where i cut out all his snack feeds ( he was very much fed on demand!! when ever- where ever!!!) i started with some cows milk (with a bit of strawberry quick- naughty mummy!!!) in a sippy cup thing- one of the non spill ones and when he asked for a snack feed- i made a game of going and "finding" his milk. He would only have one or two sips- he never ever drank the whole thing in a day. I had to keep putting it back in the fridge- but it was good coz then he learned thats where it was. So this went on for a bout a week or two. He would get cranky- but i always just offered food or drink or cuddles, and eventually he stopped asking for snack feeds. I still fed him for his nap and for bedtime- and the afternoon feed- that was our snuggle time and chill out time- and it was the last non bed feed to go. We were still doing that a few weeks ago.

We did have a bit of a set back coz he got a bit sick with a fever- and the dr encouraged me to feed as often as possible!! I was a bit grrrrrr coz we had made so much progress in cutting down feeds- but of course i did it- and when he got better- it was easy to drop them again. Just did the looking for his "milk" game- and he was actually now drinking more of the milk and happy to have it instead of it being just a distraction.He coped really well with losing the snack feeds- i didnt think he would cope as well with any of it as easy as he did- he was a HUGE boobie fan- so i have been so proud of him!!

So that was the end of november- he was 16 months. I kept on with the feeding to sleep only until xmas as we were going on a mammoth traveling holiday and i wasnt going to start a routine and then mess him up by being in a new house every night for two weeks etc- so we just stalled it there for the next month.

When we got home from our holiday i settled in at home for a week or so and then i decided it was time to try the not feeding to sleep. Until now he has NEVER and i repeat NEVER been a baby to just nod off- he does it in the car or the pram if they are moving- but he has never just lay there and gone to sleep- i have never done the put him in the cot and let him go to sleep thing- so i didnt really know where to even start!!

So i just played it by ear and night one- we had dinner, bath and a bit of a play in his bedroom- then we sat on his bed and read a few stories and then i just started saying its time to lay down and go to sleep. And thats when the screaming started. i tried to soothe him - nothing worked- i gave it about half an hour and i couldnt stand it anymore and i fed him- two sucks and he was gone. So this taught me that he wasnt hungry or thirsty- he just wanted what he was used to and the comfort- so it was a matter of him learning a new way to be comfortable and happy to go to sleep.

So the next day i happened to be going on a big drive so he slept in the car for nap time- and come bed time i did the exact same thing as the night before- dinner, bath, play and books in bed. When the book was finished i said its time to lay down and go to sleep. The tears started instantly. I made sure i had water and milk for him he threw them both at me. But they were there if he wanted them.

I tried patting, i tried singing, i tried talking, i tried soft tickles and rubs, nothing worked. He kept trying to get up so i just kept laying him down and repeating "its ok, its time to lay down and go to sleep" i had the light on so i could see him and he could see me- after a while i thought it may have been distracting so i turned his lamp off and opened the door a bit so there was a bit of light but not too much. this seemed to help.

It was about an hour of this and so i stopped talking- i stopped touching him- i just lay there. It was still a bit longer, but me stopping seemed to help too. It was THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD, but i just lay there on the end of his bed and listened to my poor little man wear himself out. It was about an hour and a half all up. It was hard, it was heartbreaking and it was sad- but he did eventually go to sleep.

I had a big cry myself once he was asleep. DH and i had a fight when i came out of DS's room coz he made some smart arse comment about did i enjoy torturing him. I didnt enjoy it all - but i knew it needed to be done.

He woke up at about 5am (much later than usual) and came into our room- i fed him back to sleep in our bed (this always happened) and he spent the rest of the night with us. In the morning- i was expecting him to hate me- but he was his usual happy chatty self!!

So day three nap time- same deal, lunch, books in bed and "its time to lay down and go to sleep" again instant tears. :( This time i didnt start with talking too much- he knew i was there, i didnt sing, i didnt talk, and it took about 20 mins for him to go to sleep. A few attempts of him trying to get out of bed- but the water and the milk were there and i would just lay him down and repeat "its time to lay down and go to sleep" he slept for an hour or so- and was again happy as larry when he woke up!!

So Day Three- Bed time... same routine, dinner, bath, playtime, stories.. now he was cottoning on- after the second story- he pointed to his bookshelf and gave me the cute "more mummy" face- so i said ok- one more then its time for bed. This time we had the routine down- he had some of his drinks while i read the stories- we turned out the light and he lay down. He was now laying down on his own without me having to do it. I just had to say "lay down sweetie" and he would. Now it was not so much crying as just whinging he wasnt trying to get up as much. He let me touch him now- and i could give him soft rubs on his arm and his belly and it was 20 mins (not 20 mins of crying) and he was out.

So day four nap time... went just as well, down to 10 mins- not so much crying as tossing and turning abit and whinging.

Night four- same, he was def getting to know the routine, took his own books to bed, still whinging, but didnt try to get up nearly as much- tossing and turning alot, only took like 10 mins. I am begining to think he is more upet that i am strict with bed time than the fact there is no boob involved. He hasnt once asked for boob- made a move for boob - when he gets up he is trying to get up and go.

And so it went.... each night was shorter and shorter with less and less crying less and less whinging. Its now day nine, he is choosing his own two books for bed time, no more crying or whinging at all and he tosses and turns alot. Tonight he is now trying to get cheeky- and he started playing around in bed doing head stands and kicking the wall and lots of giggling and laughing. I let him do what he needs to do to wind down- but i dont let him off the bed. It is now taking a bit longer, but he is happy- so i dont mind a bit!!!!

Now also- all week he has still come to bed at around 5am- before the weaning- he would wake up to three times a night and he would be in our bed from midnight. DH and i are both now waking up thinking "where is our little man???" we both get up two or three times a night to check on him!!!! When he does come to our bed- he still gets his feed and we sleep til about 7 or 8 if i am lucky.

This morning- he didnt come to my bed til 7am!!!!!!!!!!!!! This has NEVER happened!!! He had a little feed- but it was more of a play feed, and we got up- we didnt go back to sleep.

So after a fair bit of procrastinating from me- i think i can officially say we are nearly 100% weaned- and it hasnt been as bad as i thought it would be. My little man has been a trooper, i am soo proud of how quickly he has learned his new routine and how well he is sleeping!!! But to be honest- i do really miss feeding!!! We still have cuddles of course- but i was a bit sad this morning when he didnt come in (actually i nearly shat myself when i woke up and the sun was up and it was just me in bed!!! Dh had left for work already which meant DS slept through him walking around too!!!) I will keep doing the morning bonding feed for as long as he comes to our bed. I think i have timed the weaning with my pregnancy well as i am pretty sure my supply dropped as i dropped feeds- i have had no pain, no lumps, no feeling over full.

So i will have a break for six months or so before the next bub comes along. by then i hope that DS will be able to be read his stories, light out and left to go to sleep happily. Or that DH can be able to help now (he couldnt feed him to sleep lol but he can lay with him!!!) so when my arms are full with bubs- i will have some help.

Other than the first few nights- which were horrible to do- it has actually been easier than i thought. I did sit there and think i was horrible and mean- but DS still loves me, and actually is sleeping better now- and i feel so proud of him and i guess of myself for being strong enough to persist. I couldnt have done it if the crying went on for more than two nights i think. But i could see that he wasnt in pain- he just needed to let out his energy and that was how he did it- and now a week later- he kicks the wall and does head stands!! Which i like much better!!!! :)

So that has been my week!!!