Am I a bad mother already?

This is more of a question than a worry, but as Mr Mackey says from South Park, there's no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people. Hail that.

We had our 20-week scan on Thursday and were told all is well. The sonographer didn't indicate that there was anything to worry about, just gave us the Report and photos, and we left.

So, being a nosey parker, I read the Report. It says "Normal looking fetus at 20 weeks gestation." But the measurements for Aristotle show that he is only at the 5th percentile in measurements, except for his head which is at the 45th percentile. What this means, apparently, is that he's measuring smaller than 95% of other babies at this gestation, except for his head, which is in about the middle of average.

Is my baby small? Is this something I should be worried about? Um...stupid person question coming up...is Aristotle starving? I don't eat a lot generally, and sometimes I am too busy to eat and feel hungry to the point of feeling light-headed...if I'm hungry, is my baby hungry too? My naturopath has me on lots of nutritional supplements - that should help, right?

I wasn't too concerned at first, cause DH is really tall and really skinny...but my Step-mother, who is a midwife, seemed concerned about it when I told her. She then tried to cover up her concern because she knew that I had noticed.

Am I a bad mother already? Do 20-week measurements really have any bearing on birth measurements and weight?

Sorry, lots of questions.

The baby wont starve before you will. Your body automatically gives priority to the baby, that is unless you are in a true starvation where it would shut down everything except vital organs. I doubt you are THAT hungry!

I'm not sure about the other questions. Just wanted to pop in and reasure you before you wait too long.

I cant remember that scan.. .do they check the placenta and cord then too to make sure it's still healthy?

ETA. In babies and children, it is very common to have head measurements, height and weight all in different percentiles for their age. My DD is 25% for height and not even 3% for weight and still perfectly healthy. I'm sure the same could be said for before birth. It takes all sizes to make up the percentile charts!

I don't have answers to all your questions, but why don't you try carry around some snacks with you so that you don't get so hungry. Some fruit or a muffin or even a sandwich. Just a thought.

You could always discuss it with your ob/midwife.

But remember that your body puts your baby first. If your diet is rubbish (and mine was too), your body will still be prioritising bub. :hug:

As the other ladies have said, your body automatically gives bubby the good stuff, so no worries there at all. My bubby was measuring 5 days under my dates at my midway scan, but she told me they have a weeks leeway either side for error, so our bub was within the 'normal' range.

Also they can't say this early on if that means bub is going to be small or skinny, babies grow at all different speeds and your bub may not put his insulation layer until later in the pregnancy. My OB wont tell me how big bubby is looking until the last few weeks.

Don't worry yourself at all, it really sounds just normal, same as mine. Take care and enjoy the 2nd half of your pregnancy :hug:

Please don't start thinking like this xoxoxo

Both my babies have big heads. It is genetic... Their heads always measure many percentile bands above the rest of them... Also measurements can be skewed with the angles the baby is too...

Please try not to stress. xo

Oh no, don't start already! :hug:

These things come with wide margins of error and it'll all change in the coming weeks anyway, so put it from your mind. If there was a problem, they would tell you.

Oh you are definitely not a bad mother!!!! If you are, then I am too :lol:. My DS had the most enormous head.......during our third trimester scans his head was in the 95th percentile, whereas the rest of him was in the 5th. And that's where he stayed for pretty much his first four months of life too. Fortunately his skinny little body caught up, but his head has always been big ;).

You are not starving your baby! I will however suggest that you take better care of yourself ;)..........it's good practice for when the baby arrives, because it's reeeeaaalllly hard then to find time/remember to eat, but it's really important to do so. If you have a naturopath, I would be having a chat to them about your concerns. We know that this baby I am currently carrying is small........as for whether it's too small, that remains to be seen until further monitoring, but my naturopath is really helpful, and a great support. I will do anything to help this bub come out big and strong!

Please don't blame yourself hun, your baby is fine.........hey, someone has to be in the 5th, don't they? :D

Thanks Ladies,

Sometimes my logic is overridden by niggly questions and I suppose I hadn't expected Aristotle to be small at all, so then of course I started wondering whether that was a bad thing, which then became worry about whether it was because of something I'd done. Ms Anxiety is my name!

Also, I have been trying really hard to eat well, but I'm having difficulty swallowing meat, and I have a tendency to binge on carbs. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing the best that I can (my mantra, learnt from my ANDA counselling) and that baby is fine. My big issue at the moment is some of my work involves being on the run for several hours at a time, and my pregnant body needs much more frequent snack breaks than I'm used to - it is about making new habits and getting used to my new needs.

Thanks again, feeling much better. Gonna go and eat now :D

Hun, it is hard to be busy and pregnant. One thing i always did was to carry snacks in my bag, like musili bars, dried fruit and nuts, a banana, and water, and that way I always had something on hand that was filling, and would give a quick energy boost.