2 year old - sleeping problems

For all those mummy's with toddlers, how do you get them to bed? what is their napping routine? please talk to me about it. i'm going insane here, wondering what on earth i'm doing wrong??? kaili (2 years old) wakes normally around 7am, her nap is usually 1:30 to 3:00, sometimes its earlier (like 12:30 to 2:00), but she generally naps for 1.5 hours. I get her to nap, by putting her in her bed, reading 1 book, and walking out of the room. thats it. soo easy and lovely! her bedtime we try to make 8:00 to 8:30. This sleep however isn't so easy!

She kicks, screams, crys, yells, more books, mum lie down, dad where are you, crying more etc etc. This lasts for.. i kid you not about 1.5 hours before she finally crashes from exhaustion, the other night, i went to bed, DH said it was 11:00pm before she finally crashed... 2.5 hours!! !!!) WTF?? What am i doing wrong? why is it such a mission?

Was talking to my cousin on sunday about it, she was having the same problem with her dd, so she just closed the door and walked out one night, she cried for 40 min and finally fell asleep, did that for a week, and now she's an angel. put her in her bed, walk out, she's done! So i thought, you beauty, i'm doing this!

Did it last night, she cried for 20 minutes then fell asleep (breaking my heart along the way, "mummy, where are you?!?!" ), but then woke about an hour later (Theo woke her), so i struggled to get her down again, she then continued to wake 3 times during the night!!!!! Poor thing must have been waking horrified thinking.. is mummy back yet?? i felt sooo mean! Between her and Theo today i have felt like i'm about to DIE! sooo tired! So tonight.. we're back to square one. DH is in the room with her. it seems worse tonight because shes scared we're going to leave her again (what a stupid thing we did), she keeps trying to cling to him :(

So yes.. please tell me your secret ingredient for a great sleeper??

TIA

Don't know if I can be much help but I can tell you what I do with DS.

DS sleeps until 8:30am or so, then he goes for his nap at 1:00pm. He will sleep anywhere from 1-4 hours so I usually wake him after 2 so that bed time is not a struggle.

10 minutes before bedtime I tell him "10 minutes until bedtime, let's go potty and brush your teeth and then we can read some books". We brush our teeth, use the potty and then go back into the living room for snuggles and a book or two (and he usually wants his sippy cup of water).

At 9:00 I tell him "Bedtime, say goodnight to daddy". Then I take him to his room, tuck him in, kiss him and tell him "love you, I'll see you in the morning, mommy & daddy will be down the hall if you need us", and then I leave. My stay in his room is very short. He will sometimes whine for a few minutes but he never fusses too much because he knows his bed is for sleeping and I'm not crawling in with him (he has a loft bed so I can't anyways).

Sounds like she's learned that if she carries on she gets more of your time (which is what my son used to do to us until we stopped giving in). Maybe try telling her before you put her in bed. "We're just reading one book then it's time to go to sleep'. If she cries for more after the first one tell her "mommy told you only one book them bedtime" then tuck her in and leave. Fingers crossed bedtime gets better for you and your daughter.

MY DS has just started fussing a little more before bedtime too.....this is what I do

DS wakes between 6:30am and 7am. Play in the morning, sleep at around 1pm for about 2 hours (sometimes more). We have dinner at 7pm, bath, books and then bed at around 8:30pm.

We have a very specific routine that has to be followed or else DS cracks it! DH reads 2 books, then I read 2 (or 3) more. Then we have to count to 20 and I put him into bed. We sing the books away song, then nightlight goes on, and lamp goes off. Then I talk to DS about what happened during the day with DS for a couple of minutes, then kiss goodnight, cuddle then I leave. Lately DS has been faffing around with the covers then calling me to come and fix them....I think in an effort to stay awake and keep me there. I just go in, tuck him back in, then walk back out....saying "time for sleep"

Do you shut the door to her room and make it completely dark? Maybe she's a bit freaked out. A nightlight might help, or leaving the door ajar? If DS starts getting too silly in his bed, I just call out from the lounge to go to sleep, and not go in there. Has she got her 2 year old molars yet? Maybe they are hurting her if not (I'm still waiting for DS to get his last set). Going to bed is fun for us, we play while I am getting him dressed and we let him choose his books.

Doesn't sound like you are doing anything 'wrong'.....but maybe ask her why she is upset when she goes to bed....? She might tell you, then problem solved!

DD#1 stopped having a daytime sleep not long after her 2nd birthday - then her bedtime became a breeze! She wakes in the morning anywhere between 5:30am-6:30am, then is in bed by 6:30pm.

She has dinner at about 4:30pm then we do bath and books, then bedtime. We have a lovely snuggle in bed, we say prayers and sing a song then she falls asleep within minutes!

Maybe your DD is sleeping too long in the day? I would maybe try to limit her nap time (even though I know its a lovely break for you) and see how you go.

I hope you find something that works for you :)

My DS2 started bedtime shenanigans about 6 weeks ago, it must be an age thing. It turns out he was cutting his bottom set of 2 year old molars and once they were through he went back to "normal".

He was carrying on when I put him to bed too, so in the end I put one of those Fisher Price cot aquariums in his cot and told him that it is a special toy to play with just for bedtime. He was very excited! After our bedtime routine (bath, story and cup of milk) I put him in his cot and said he could play with his special toy. This distracted him from his usual carrying on. The toy plays music, has bubbles and lights, lots of fun LOL! He would lie there watching it until he fell asleep. My sister used one for her DD and it worked for her too :)

I have also found that too long or too late of a nap and he is really wakeful at bedtime and tends to play loudly and be silly in bed (which keeps DS1 awake and wakes up DD - grrr!). So I try and limit his naps to about 1.5 hours.

Good luck :D

Just a suggestion- would you start the bedtime routine earlier so she is in bed earlier? Would she be overtired by 8pm? She certainly would by 11pm! You must be exhausted. My 2 yr old wakes around 7 am, a one hour nap about 12pm then in bed by 7pm. She is tired at that point but I haven't had any trouble with her sleep of late (have in the past!!). DD gets lots of warnings about bedtime approaching and we have kept a really strict bedtime routine for about 16 months- shower with dad, dinner, quite play and cup of milk, read a book, prayers with mum in the dark in her room then cot. She is not in a bed so she can't get out! She is never out once she is in unless a poo nappy need changing. Hope you work it out!