So...I'm having a homebirth...need some support!

Hi guys!

well, after a rather tumultuous week last week after entering into the Mercy birth centre for an information session that was soon followed by a MASSIVE panic attack (birth trauma last time), it has been advised (and i wholly support!) that i try for a homebirth for this baby...

I am very content with this decision and big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but i guess what i am after is some support, maybe people that have done this and can offer me the hope that this is an opportunity to bring healing ITMS.
And also, maybe some insight into just HOW different the experience can be to a hospital/birth centre experience (i have strong association fears so am trying to make it as different as possible to last time).

I understand that this is rambled, but it all seems like ALOT to organise...as compared to last time where i just rang and OB and was taken for a ride lol.

TIA guys xx

Just wanted to wish you well with taking the homebirth path- and i'm also interested in what people have to say because I'm going to have a homebirth aswell.

Cassius - well done on making the decision that is best for you. I have no previous experience of birth, home or hospital, but am planning a homebirth for this bub. Do you have an IM organised?

Cassius I just wanted to wish you all the best with your homebirth. I had a bad experience with DD1 and went on to have a wonderful birth and recovery with DD2 (even tho it was in a Hospital, lol), after a whole lot of soul searching, endless reading and research.
xx

Hey hon, congratulations :) One to one midwifery care is the BEST! I would suggest as first thing to do is call a few midwives, interview them and see who you click with. Many of them have a way of making you feel safe and important, but of course people look for different things in their carers - nurturing approach, confident approach, trusting... so whats right for you might not be right for others. Check out the IM recommendations forum, FYI: I know Kylie Shaw Wallace is lovely but is taking a break from work at the moment.

Here's some info from the Maternity Coalition site:

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Midwives In Private Practice
For centuries midwives have worked among their communities providing care to women. Historically midwives have held a philosophy of care based on the belief that pregnancy is, basically, a healthy process and a normal part of life, growth and development. It is this belief that guides the way in which midwives in private practice work. Midwives choosing to work privately, rather than being employed by hospitals and other institutions, do so because it allows them to be flexible about the care they provide. That is, the care offered will be in partnership, directed primarily by the wishes of the women and their families.
The private practitioner midwife is able to provide continuity of care to the families who have chosen to use her services. During the pregnancy, the woman and her family develop a friendly supportive relationship with their midwife (in some cases eg homebirth, the care is shared by two midwives). On the day the baby is born the midwife remains with the woman throughout the entire labour. There are no shift changes that require the midwife to leave. During the first week of the baby's life the same midwife visits each day until the baby has settled into a feeding pattern and the parents feel confident in caring for their new baby.

Some midwives in private practice choose to work in specific areas. For example, some may offer postnatal care, or advice with difficult breastfeeding problems (Lactation Consultants) or Maternal and Child Health (M&CHN). In addition, some midwives are skilled and have qualifications in complementary areas such as acupuncture, counselling, naturopathy, chiropractic, massage or homeopathy.

The range of services provided:
Pre-pregnancy advice
Advice about birth options
Childbirth education classes
Sibling preparation classes
Continuous midwifery care during pregnancy
Preparation for and attendance at births in an appropriate environment of the parents' choice
Postnatal care following birth at home, birth centre or hospital
Separate postnatal care for women who want private midwifery care for this period only or who are discharged home early from hospital
Lactation consultancy
Acupuncture and Chiropractic
Referral to and advice about other health professionals such as medical and natural health practitioners, eg obstetricians, paediatricians, GPs, chiropractors, osteopaths, naturopaths, homeopaths
Some midwives have a special interest and expertise in supporting women in special areas such as vaginal birth after caesarean section (VBAC), breech births, water births and postnatal depression.
The private practitioner midwives listed are fully qualified midwives who work in consultation with medical practitioners when appropriate. All are members of Midwives in Private Practice (MIPP), which is based in Victoria. To apply to become a member of MIPP or to renew your membership see here For information on services elsewhere, see the links page.
For more information please contact:

Andrea Bilcliff
Email: mipps@maternitycoalition.org.au
Ph: 9704 2386 or
Midwives in Private Practice (MIPP)
8 Raleigh Drive, Narre Warren South, VIC 3805

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Congratulations on your choice!

I am planning our HB in Vic too. Everything has been smooth sailing - there is SO much great reading, books etc. out there. Have you chosen a MW? I really recommend chatting to Jan Ireland, she is fantastic and, importantly, I think you will feel really safe and supported with her.

Meet with a few though!

A good IMW will advise you on EVERYTHING you need, so a HB isn't always 'DIY'!

*mwah* thanks guys! you're support means a whole lot, i really mean it!

kelly: thanks for the link! i read what you posted in about 3 seconds...just gobbling up every bit of info like the cookie monster lol!

I have been given a list of IMs by a good friend of mine who is a midwife and has offered to be birth support, so i guess i will just have to go through the list. my main aim is to have someone that we feel comfortable with (obviously), but it would be ideal to have someone that has some understanding of birth trauma and healing and/or postnatal depression. having suffered with it last time i am needing to surround myself with understanding ITMS. she will not need to be a in a counsellor role (i have those networks in action already), but just someone that 'gets it' and will be able to understand some of my responses if they fall outside of 'normal'...ITMS...i might be asking too much though :redface:

Also, i am almost certain that i will need postnatal support. DH and I have no family around and last time i felt the loneliness in those first few weeks to be crippling. so it would be nice to have someone come around every now and then for a cuppa and a chat

argh, i feel silly, as i think i am asking for too much LOL! eeeppp! i dont wanna be seen as crazy pregnant lady lol!

You are close to Rhea Dempsey who is my teacher, she is a counsellor and does birth debriefing - she'd be awesome :)

Birthing Wisdom ::: Rhea Dempsey, Child Birth Educator

I had a HB with my 2nd after a terrible birth of my 1st.
It was Incredible!

will Pm you some other dets

It's not crazy to know what you want Cass! Go for it :hug:

Forgot to add: I have two copies of Homebirth by Nicky Wesson in the online store if you want to get into some good reading :) I know what it's like to be in that info frenzy stage :)

BellyBelly Pty Ltd - Homebirth: A Practical Guide by Nicki Wesson

A perfect balance of practical information, compelling personal stories and research evidence, Home Birth is essential reading for all couples considering the alternative to a hospital birth. Leading childbirth educator Nicky Wesson dispels many common myths about home birth and shows how giving birth to your baby in your own home can be the most exciting and fulfilling thing you'll ever do.

Just saw Kelly post this on Facebook so have just dropped in so i can find it later, not when i have 3 little helpers around me LOL...


But just for a start, homebirth will feel so totally different as there will be no one at your birth that is wearing a uniform! This will be a lovely visual reminder to you that you are somewhere safe. There will be no one at your birth that you dont know! You will be treated with kindness and respect and things will happen on your timeline not some hospitals p & p manual!

Will be happy to write HEAPS more later.

I had two hospital births then a homebirth. The homebirth was the most magical time in my life and i feel so lucky to have been given the support and self belief to be able to experience it!

You have made the right decision and one that you will need a lot of support in the comming months because there are a lot of people out there that will feel it within their right to comment on what a dangerous thing you are doing!

See you all later!

Quote (Also, i am almost certain that i will need postnatal support. DH and I have no family around and last time i felt the loneliness in those first few weeks to be crippling. so it would be nice to have someone come around every now and then for a cuppa and a chat )


i'll come around and have a cuppa with you!

IM's are often LC's also, and if they are or aren't, they do their post natal visits with you - cuppas, chats and check-ups :) The postnatal care is more extensive than hospital care, more personal and you bond more with your midwife than you would an Ob :)

Homebirth was the best thing I have ever done.

Need to go now but adding a note to subscribe, will be back!!

Tegam: thanks! in fact, it is midwives in uniform that really set me off! so in all honesty it would be sooooo good just to eliminate even that!

starting to feel...EXCITED!

Kelly: ahhhh. so this could be the norm for many IMs to provide some postnatal care then? goodo, something to add to my list of questions...better start on that list lol!

another question...sorry...

but are there questions that i should be asking? i mean, people do it with OBs so are there any really important 'must have' questions that you guys recommend? So far, i will want to know that the IM can do back up bookings for a hospy (just for peace of mind as DD had breathing issues in the post birth hours), and for me, if she/he has experience in dealing with women with birth trauma. But is there like an 'essentials list'? or things that you wish you had of asked?

thanks again guys, you are all giving me the grounding i need xx

I understand Fiona Hallinan is very good. She's near you.

I just had a homebirth yesterday after having had a traumatic hospital birth with my first DD. The experience was soooo different. In hospital I felt trapped, terrified, paralyzed by fear and pain, and unable to cope or help myself. Everything was being done TO me and I was completely at the mercy of the several people "assisting". The trauma of the experience didn't affect me at first as I dismissed it thinking "this is just what giving birth" but let me say, it's NOT!
The second time around, I was able to cope with the pain easily. Despite having an epi, narcotic AND gas the first time and nothing the second time, I was physically waaay more comfortable the second time. So much so in fact I was totally surprised when the urge to push came, I didn't even realize I'd transitioned lol. I don't want to play down how intense it was but just that it wasn't scary, I was able to cope because I was relaxed and comfortable and cared for. I never felt cared for in hospital.

HTH :D