How long feeling like this?

Starting to wonder how long I will feel so sad for...it's been two weeks and one day since we had the scan and found out about the baby not growing. I'm not teary everyday anymore but still having the odd outburst and feeling v. blue.

Don't feel like doing anything when I'm home, don't want to go out, just feel v. flat. I think my husband is starting to worry and to be honest, I'm a bit worried too. I have had bouts of depression in the past but not for a long time. I don't think it's depression, although hard to tell. When I'm with people I feel withdrawn and even though I make an effort to talk and smile, I'm not enjoying anything.

Also feeling like I might be coming down with something, just generally not well. Wondering if that is all part of the miscarriage and hormones dropping? Still spotting along...be good when that ends. What a roller-coaster this whole thing has been. I'm posting here because I don't know what else to do. I have an appointment with a women's health center today (I made it when I was pregnant but since services are so hard to get into up here I thought I should go anyway even though I'm not sure why I'm going now?).

Sorry for the mopes.

Alice

Alice big :hug: to you hun. It is still early days and everyone grieves differently. Don't worry about feeling like this it really is normal. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Regards,
Dianne

I don't think the feelings ever really go away, but it does get easier. You need to allow yourself time to grieve, might be a good idea to discuss how you are feeling at your appointment today. :hug:

Hugs Alice. It takes an individual amount of time to grieve and start feeling better. I hope the spotting stops soon for you too. I know when i was still spotting, I felt like crud, I felt dizzy nauseous and generally unwell. i dont know how normal it is but I felt it too. I am glad you have an appointment today. Just go in there and have a chat, it may make you feel somewhat better and it may just be that they can assess if you are indeed suffering from depression.

All the best love. Let us know how your appointment goes.

Hi Alice,

I'm very sorry for your loss hun :hug: . I can't imagine what you're going through, but it would also break my heart if I got a BFP after so mamy IVF cycles and then lost my little angel. It's only been a bit over two weeks hun, give yourself a lot more time to grieve properly. I had a loss too, at 21 weeks in Oct 2008, and it took me some time to deal with the pain and to heal. Every week it was a bit better, but some days I felt like I was going backwards, I felt as if I didn't make any progress. Then the time came where I had more good days than bad, and things looked more positive. I had a lot of support through SANDS and Sids & Kids.
What I found very challenging after I dealt with my loss was the prospect of trying again, but that's another journey I guess.

Big hugs and thinking of you.

Beata x

Alice I'm so sorry for you loss :hug: as everyone has said, we all grieve and heal differently, so don't be too hard on yourself if you are still feeling down, it will take time. After our loss, I hated feeling so lost and awful, but then when I did finally start picking up, at first I would then almost feel guilty that I had laughed out loud, or enjoyed a day out. We can be so hard on ourselves, when we really need to just go with the flow and let our emotions out. I hope your appt goes well today, and the Centre gives you the support you need.

Thank you everyone for your kind comments and for sharing your stories, and losses, here with me. The support you've given me has been so generous, I really appreciate it. :hug:

Well I'm glad I kept the appointment - the doctor was lovely and talked with me for over half an hour. She went through everything I had been feeling and reinforced what so many of you have said here - it's very normal and everyone is different. We talked about previous loss and about the episodes of depression I have had in the past and some of the warning signs. So far seems like it is a normal grief response but she wants to see me again in few weeks just to make sure I'm traveling OK. She also suggested maybe doing a little ceremony and I found the idea of that very comforting so I will think it through some more.

I'm so relieved to have a GP up here who at last has my full medical history and who has a specific focus on womens health. She wasn't at all judgmental about IVF which was one of my irrational fears, in fact she was very understanding and knowledgeable. So I'm feeling a lot better and more reassured that everything is OK. It was good to be reminded, strangely, that it won't pass quickly, that it will take time and feel very up and down, and some days will feel like I'm going backward, but it will eventually lessen.

Thanks again,
Alice x

Hi Lovely, sorry to hear that you are feeling like this :hug: :hug:.
Very happy to hear you have found such a lovely doctor to speak with though & someone who has an interest in womens health specifically.

I think its fairly normal from what you have described. I have to say that it crossed my mind after my mc too, I have also had a few bouts of depression in the past. I just kept waiting to feel better.................................... & waiting......................................... & waiting & when it didn't happen right away I worried that I might be heading that way again.
Coming down off the 'happy PG hormones' is a bit of a rude awakening to your body, but just hang in there & see how you are feeling after your body settles down & the bleeding eases up.
I feel heaps brighter now that mine has started to settle. Hopefully yours will very soon too. :hug: :hug:

sending you a big hug hun

as other have said i dont think what you are feeling goes, you just manange it within your life

Im glad you are happy with you GP.

it is normal for you to be feeling this way i know it took me months to get help and it wasnt until i did that i looked back and thought i really needed that sooner. be kind to yourself while you heal

Miscarriage can cause immense grief, and like everyone has said, it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do. It is OK to feel sad and it is very important to grieve, because by taking the time now you give youself the chance to heal. Know there are lots of people thinking of you.

Firstly, love to you xxx I'm sorry for your loss.

Secondly, there is no timeline for grief, it is just something you do, then when it's over you know. Don't place expectations on yourself, you can't plan the unknown. Just feel what you feel, cry when you need to, and make sure to go gently on yourself while you grieve.