Help! 3 month old not sleeping- is it the dummy?

Hi,

I have a beautiful 3.5 month old boy (my first) who was in a fairly good pattern of sleeping 7ish- 2ish then feed and sleep until 5ish. Recently this has all gone haywire. He started waking hourly after the 2am feed,

Then he stopped waking at all for 2 nights until 4ish and would resettle without a feed. Hoorah I thought he has dropped the night feed. He was feeding more in day but didn't even seem that hungry when he woke up.

Now however, it's got worse again and he is waking a 1, 2, 3 , 4, 5,

Now the only thing I can think is that he has become dependent on the dummy for resettling and so needs it putting back in to be able to get back to sleep. I never wanted to use a dummy in the first place but we were having so many feeding problems that when I finally caved and put him on the bottle (EBM and now formula), he was so used to sucking on me all day trying to get a bit of food, that the dummy was the only was to stop him screaming all day. It really was a life saver at that point so I don't regret using it.

I tried a "gentle " approach of trying to remove the dummy when half asleep for a week (read article by Elizabeth Pantley), but this really didn't work and I think I was just confusing the poor mite! He would get so agitated when I took it away and then immediately settle , only for me to take it again! I felt SO HORRIBLE. So I gave up and gave it back!

So what do I do now? I really feel that the sleep may improve without the dummy but I don't want to put him through hell by taking it from him cold turkey- or maybe it would be better for him. I was thinking I would just stay with stroking and patting and shushing, but I know from when I tried before that this doesn't really help- he just got more and more upset until I gave it back.

So any ideas or experience in this area?? Is it worth taking the dummy from him?

LS x

Sorry I should clarify that the reason I posted here is that I believe in gentle parenting methods and not letting babies cry themselves to sleep. I was DEVASTATED when the breastfeeding didn't work out , and I guess part of me feels that letting him suck on the dummy which makes him really happy and snoozy is the next best thing (obviously nothing like BF but if that's not an option...) but this seems to have backfired on me, so was hoping for some advice and support without having to resort to taking away his comfort and making him cry

:hug: sorry that BFing didn't work for you. Don't beat yourself up about giving him a dummy. At 3 months he is still a little baby and needs his comforts. Our DS is a "bad" sleeper. We gave our DS a dummy too and it was a lifesaver. I don't think the dummy is a problem, he is probably just hungry or wanting extra cuddles. I think also at 3 months they go through a growth spurt and need extra feeds. My DS has had many stages like this. Just when he seems to be in a routine, he goes & changes it on us. My DS is still waking up at night most nights & he is almost one! Usually just once, but often more if he's teeth are cutting. Sometimes he will go back to sleep if we give him back his dummy but other times he needs a cuddle or bottle. It will get better - just keep doing what works for you.