Attachment problems - help!!!

So I thought I was doing well at breastfeeding until I went to my breastfeeding support group today. I only went for the peer support and to make friends and came away feeling like rubbish because the mentor looked at my baby latching and said it was all wrong.

My nipples had not hurt until today but now I have been told that if I do not start getting him to attach properly the pain will get worse and I will start having all sorts of problems. She also said it might be the reason that his feeds are soo long and frequent as he hasn't been getting enough.

The problem I have is the baby is not taking in enough breast tissue. His top lip is curled back when on the breast which shows he is not opening his mouth enough when attaching. I have also been told that the nipple should not look like a lipstick when he comes off. Which I have now noticed it does! She also said it shouldn't hurt at all. She gave me advice on how to attach properly but I just cannot seem to get him to open his mouth enough. And when he does get on properly he wriggles back to his old 'bad' positioning. Will things get better? Or have I left it too late???

All right, she has said this. it is now up to her to help you get it right. So contact her and say you need her to help you get it right. Get her to show you how to place him on correctly. You may need to change your position while feeding.
It's not to late and he will learn to attach with some advice.

Someone will be on to give you some tips as it's hard for me to remember how I was taught to get proper attachment. :)

Firstly congrats on your new arrival!

Nope it is never too late to correct an attachment.

From what I understand his top lip should be curled back... it is called the flange curl (or something like that I can't for the life of me remember the technical term) but when he comes off he should have a line under his nose (from where his lip was curled back) and one under his bottom lip and between his chin (from his bottom lip curling down).

Was this an ABA Meeting? Either way I am sorry for the way you were spoken to :hug:

Breastfeeding isn't supposed to hurt... but I did find that until I got it all right - it did hurt... and sometimes still hurts - but there is differing degrees of hurt. Excruiating pain - no shouldn't hurt that much, bit of tenderness - maybe sometimes.

His feeds may be taking longer at the moment because he is so young. My DD was born premmie so her feeds took quite long when she was first born, she came home at 36 weeks gestation (2 weeks old) and even then - up until about 2months - her feeds would often take quite some time.

I think things will get better - they certainly did for me. Once I got my confidence up and both DD and I got used to BFing it was much much better!

If the group you attended wasn't ABA, have you attended an ABA meeting? The ABA hotline may also be able to give you some tips on attachment.

We "fixed" this issue when my DS was 4 months (and had got strong enough that things were hurting), so you certainly have time to do it.
You may also find that as bub grows it will be easier to get more in to his mouth!
Just keep trying - it may take a few days, but now you are aware of what you need to get to that's the first step.
Have you tried to just let him attach himself? Lie him on your chest in the general vicinity and let him wriggle his head where he wants it to go?? That can work pretty well too.
And making silly faces with a big open mouth can help sometimes.
good luck!

DD2 was exactly the same except i never knew about ABA and all that so i suffered the pain resulting in PND and all sorts i too never knew the lipstick shape which is what i used to get too!
I would def go back to the woman and ask her to help you, shes the one who said it so technically she should help.
Good luck and i hope your little man soon takes to the new position and latches well

Just wanted to say, my DS did this. My technique was perfect, everything looked spot on, but he would just slide back and give me the lipstick look. I ended up using shields from 4-11 weeks so my nipples could heal, then it just fixed itself. Once he was bigger he just got the hang of it. My point being - no, it's not too late at all. sometimes it can take weeks or even months to iron out all the kinks.

2 possibilities - you have a fast letdown and he's having hard time coping. You could try triggering letdown before you put him on so it's slowed down a bit. Or try feeding in a more upright position.
- maybe he has a tongue tie and can't quite latch on right. It's worth getting checked out if you haven't already.

So, your mentor doesn't sound very helpful...probably would be best to get hold of a lactation consultant who knows what they're talking about.

You're doing really well :hug:

I would suggest joining the ABA, or at least enquiring where you local group is and contacting the group leader. You can go along to a couple of meetings as a visitor and see if they can help you. If you find the support good, you can join. ;)

The ABA helpline might also be good for some quick tips. 1800 mum 2 mum

Hun, that must be really confusing for you. I notice that you are living in the UK - I think there are 3 bfing support organisations there - perhaps you could try one of the others if you're not happy with this one?

In the meantime, have a look on the ABA website - Australian Breastfeeding Association - especially at the information about Baby Led Attachment - Australian Breastfeeding Association - Baby-led attachment. This helps a lot of mums who's babies don't attach well. Effectively it's putting your baby against your chest and allowing him to find the nipple and attach himself. There is more information about how to do this in that article. It works really well for lots of mums.

If you find that doesn't help, it might be worth seeing an LC to have your DS checked for anything like tongue-tie that might be giving him some trouble when he attaches.

Best of luck hun - let us know how you go with that :hug:

I had the same issue except it wasn't picked up until eight weeks or so! I was just in tears at having to try and "re-learn" BF after two months.

I had the lipstick thing, and pain that had only just started but got bad really quickly. I had to go back to the beginning. I watched "The Perfect Latch" video that is sticky at the top of this forum. I cancelled all plans and kinda just spent my day relaxing between feeds and being patient and well rested and concentrating on getting each feed right - even if it meant taking on and off a million times until we got it correct. I stopped using the dummy as much (no idea if it helped or not) and bit by bit it got better.

Not every feed was perfect, but each day more feeds were better than before, and then somehow I just realised it had been a few days with no real issues and everything just started to kinda work! Personally I tell people I found overcoming my BF issues harder than child birth so you are not alone with these problems and it's still possible to keep going. I'm almost at 12 weeks now!

hello sweetness,
Im so sorryt o hear you are having problems :( my DD is almost 4 months old and im still using a sheild :( if i were you i would get help however often you need to. silly me thought i knew what i was doing and did the whole "what can they tell me that i dont already know?" but someone just being there to show you and support you can be a big help. Ive tried a few times to get her to feed without a sheild but i get it right for the first few feeds then something goes wrong and we take a million steps backwards. i will however, be trying again soon. i realise its something you have to stick with and not keep giving up, its never too late to learn properly. i would suggest trying a sheild if your getting really sore/cracked nipples, but only use it for as long as it takes them to heal or else you get stuck using them like me :( i have to give them credit tho, if not for a nipple sheild i wouldnt be able to breast feed my daughter and that is the main thing in the end isnt it?
you got some fantastic advice from all the ladies here, i would recomend talking to the ABA, i didnt call them i emailed them and i got a wonderful imformative email back catering and replying exactly to my email, it was awesome :)

Best of luck, you will do fine :)
xxx

Poppyfairy, wondering how you are going? Hope things are getting/going better for you :)