This time in 2005

in 2005 around this time I lost my first child. Its hard to believe it is 5 years now.Looking back I certainly wasn't ready to be a mother at 20 yrs old but after the initial shock wore off I was excited.

I had him for 10.5 wks
I was going to be the best mum I could even if no one supported me
But it didnt turn out as planned.

I am now mother to a beautiful 14 month old boy and I am truelly happy and ready now,
But it doesnt stop me missing him
It doesnt stop me wondering who he would look like.
5 years still doesnt take away the pain of losing you

aaww hun at least you are doing well to be looking at the positives ie not being ready to be a mum. I know what you mean about 5 years doesnt take away the pain, for me its been just over 7 years since Anthony passed and everyday is still hard. At least now you have another precious miriacle who you can give extra special cuddles to and really appreciate that much more (thats how i find it anyway)
Big hugs to you

I am sorry my love... :hug: Dance freely in the stars little one xxx :hug:

Awww hun :hug::hug: It was 5 years since loosing my first child for me too, on the 21st of this month, and 4 years since my second on the 4th of this month, and I recently lost my fifth angel on the 9th of this month. It's always hard, especially when it comes to my first angel as I bonded with him more than the others as I didn't know I was pregnant with the others until just prior to each mc, and I'm always wondering what he'd look like, when he would have first walked, talked etc. I wasn't ready either, and I was only 17, though now that I look back I believe I could have done it, and been a great mother even at such a young age.
My DS is just on 13 months, not much younger than yours, and I am more than ready now, ready to be the mother I couldn't be back then.
That you can look at the positives is something I still struggle with, but I'm working on it slowly.
Sending lots more BIIIIIG HUGS your way!