Transition from one child to two children under 3..how did you feel and manage?

Hi ladies,

I am not far from having number 2, number 1 is just over 2 and a half and a lovely little boy (but aren't they all?):rolleyes:

At the moment I feel an overwhelming sadness and on the count down that my special one on one time with number 1 is coming to an end. Don't get me wrong I am excited about number 2 coming along too, but am sad and apprehensive about how number 1 will take the change in circumstances. Practically I am confident he is a generally adaptable child, having coped well in past months with changing childcare centres, moving bedrooms and moving to a big boys bed.

I suppose I am sad about the likely fact that number 1 will have to out of necessity become a bit more dad oriented whilst I am in hospital, then getting on with the business of recovering from birth and looking after a newborn in those early weeks/months.

I have been very hormonal in recent weeks and quite teary about it from time to time to be honest. It almost feels like a grieving process - which I am worried is a bit over the top.

Number 1 has become more clingy and snuggly since we have started to spell out the reality of what's going to happen too (ie mummy's going to hospital soon, you are going to have a baby sister etc).

I am the first to admit I am not always the best with coping with big changes in life :)

I am hoping that the breastfeeding hormones etc will aid the transition once bubs comes along.

DH is starting to become a little worried about the intensity of my feelings about the upcoming changes I suspect.

I was wondering how you mums of more than one babe felt in the lead up to having that next child? How did you cope with the transition to mum of more? What did you do to make the transition as easy as possible on you and your elder child/children?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Cheerio Belinda

PS Mods feel free to move if you are not convinced this is not in the right place.

I had 2 under 2 and the eldest (DD) adapted quite well.

However she quickly learn't how easy it was for her to get my attention - usually when I was feeding or changing DS' nappy. ;).

It is a bit of a juggling act, but you will get there.

I always tell DD to 'go give bubby cuddles' etc and it makes her feel a part of the family unit. Although she didn't have a huge level of understanding at her age as your DS would.

Just make sure you still have special time with your eldest, and include him in on little things he can help with - either passing the newbie a toy, or giving a gentle cuddle etc. Just like you adapted to having one baby in the house, you'll adapt to having two around as well!

Good luck!

I have 18 months apart with my 2.

DS1 is a bit jealous of DS2 needing to BF first and he always wants attention when I am feeding DS2 but generally he brings toys to me that I can help with with only 1 hand.

Make sure you dive child 1 lots of attention when 2 is asleep.
If DS1 beside me and i am holding DS2 i will give them both kisses often.

I put DS2 on DS1 knee and let him cuddle him, and always remind him to be gentle.

He follows me when i go and change DS2 nappies and when bathing DS2 DH holds DS1 up so he can watch and put his hands in baby bath.

Your older child will understand a lot more than mine as that much older. Have you got a book on bringing baby home??

Good luck and enjoy

I felt very similar to you before our second was born. I had to go to hossy to have my waters broken to kick off my labour, and when I was at home packing my bags prior to this I was crying, as my 'baby' (who was 19 months at the time) wasn't going to be the only 'baby' in the house in more. I thought how could I love another baby as much as I love her?!

Leesa mentioned about it being a juggling act..and that's spot on. You will definitely have moments where you will feel a bit overwhelmed, but other times when you aren't so busy and in demand you can sit back and love and laugh with your kids and it's just the best.

I think don't be too hard on yourself and know that at times things will a bit out of control, but it won't always be like that.

Enjoy!
All the best

Lee, that's one of my major concerns about having number two, I just can't possibly believe I would love another human being as much as I love my DS.

Please tell me I'm wrong!! :)

It's a funny thing that..but I GUARENTEE you will love your next little person just the same! Trust me!

Yep you'll love them both equally. It really is amazing. I find that having two has enriched my life as a mummy. When I watch them play together it makes my heart sing. When I get attacked by both of them on the floor of the lounge room it is so much fun! Having two makes the tantrums easier to deal with because you are focussing on two kids and so things that seemed major before don't seem so bad with two because you have less time to over analyse, if that makes sense. At first it is difficult trying to find a way that works best for all of you. But it doesn't take long to find your groove and once you do it is wonderful. I love it! I felt guilty when dd2 was born because I didn't have as much time for her alone but they really do adapt and it doesn't scar them for life ;) and before you know it they are playing together. I actually think my dd1 is happier now because she's got another kid to play with rather than an adult. I'm still here for cuddles and playing too but seeing them together makes it all worth it. What you are feeling is pretty normal but try not to dwell on your perceived negatives. The real positives far outweigh these. I'm really excited for you :D

Thanks girls, you're really starting to put my mind at ease!

Maybe I'll just have to "bite the bullet" and go for it hey ;)

It was a heck of alot easier than I ever thought it would be. I had 2 under 2 and I was worried about how the heck I would cope. DS was fantastic with his little sister and she just slotted into the family like she'd always been here.

You will def have enough love to share between #1 and #2. I often worried about that, but as soon as I had DD...... it was instant. I never thought it could be like that.

All the very best!!