How often do you get a babysitter?

How often do you actually hire a babysitter so you and your DH/DP can go out? Or do you have family or friends who help out?

DH and I are finding it really difficult to find any time to go out together and its getting to both of us. Babysitters seem awfully expensive, and I don't know any so I think it will be hard to find someone I really trust. We don't have much family who can help. I kind of hoped the women in my mothers group would be interested in 'swapping' so that we could take each others kids and get a break, but the idea didn't go down well. Its like they never go out with their partners.

How do you do it? Or don't you?? We are really missing time together that is not just hanging around home....

DH & I have both our families living in Cairns, but we don't have any babysitters :( Our families work full time, so we don't like to burden them with our kids. I have had to organise 2 babysitters in the past month (first time). One was our next door neighbour who we get along with really well, the other was a good friend who offered to look after the girls whenever I needed it. I've never had to hire a babysitter, so can't give you advice there.

When we lived back in Perth we used to go out Once a Month or just have DS taken over night by his god mum, but up here we dont have a baby sitter or anything so i just have to wait till we go down to Perth & then i usually get time alone with DH etc

HI Amber,

We don't have any family in Australia and I don't really feel comfortable asking friends to babysit as they all have kids themselves. Also, DH works overseas for 6 weeks back for 2 weeks so I have a nanny in once a week for 6 hours to give me some 'me time', I also use this lady if DH and I want to go out to dinner when he is back home. I contacted a nanny/babysitting agency and she has been helping us since June last year, she is fantastic and I couldn't ask for anyone more lovelier to look after my kids and my kids love her. So if you don't have anyone to ask, then I would suggest you go through an agency (you can pm me - not sure where you are, for some agencies I have used - all their nannies have been fantastic) - if you find a great person then you can build up a rapport with them and they can help you out on a regular basis.

Good luck
Laurin

eta - I see you are in Melbourne, both the agencies I have used are Melbourne based. I also wanted to say, that it certainly pushes up the price of your night out - but worth it :)

I have no one to call on to babysit and I've never hired a baby sitter but am thinking about it.
The only time DH and I go out alone together is to our work xmas party.
I think I may look into this some more, it's just so hard to trust someone you don't know well!

I guess that's where we are lucky - MIL and FIL live only 15 mins away and will always jump at the opportunity to have him for a few hours. I think we've left him with them 4 times since he was born.. And although I feel bad for dropping him off and going out, I keep getting told that i shouldn't because we need time for ourselves, and that MIL and FIL (and BIL) love having him around - which makes me feel better

DH and I just don't go out together unfortunately :(. Both of our families live over an hour away and still work full time so I feel guilty asking them. DH's parents have his sister, husband and two girls living with them while their house is being built so it's crowded there already. We have had a good friend look afer the kids for three hours while we went to a funeral but once again feel guilty because they all have kids of their own.
I've never hired a baby-sitter because we couldn't afford that and then go out too plus I wouldn't relax because the kids don't know them. Gee I do miss having dinner with DH.

I never get a babysitter I normally rely on MY mum to help out and she always comes through

My mum's a gem and looks after DS 3 days a week whilst I work so I always feel so guilty if I need to ask her to look after him for anything else. I know she loves having him and so does his poppy, but it's my own guilt issues with asking them that I need to work on I think.

We only ever got paid sitters in when we HAD to... maybe every 6 months... NEVER for us to just go out as a couple... it was always for a function like a wedding. Our family have never really been available or close enough (my family live interstate and DH's are mainly in the country). Now that our eldest is 15 we occassionally get her to sit... but only every few months. We have used our neighbours teenage kids too... they don't ask for much... one insisted she do it for free but we gave her $40 for the night.

I agree, it's so hard... all the parents we we know seem to have grandparents to help... and use them at least once a week. We have gone over a year without having any kind of sitter.... and yes, we had no social life.

Once in a blue moon do we get anyone to babysit. Unfortunately my SIL books up my Dad and SM and there ain't much time left for us..My MIL will take our kids probably every 6 weeks, which is better than nothing. We can't afford a baby sitter and I think I'd be nervous leaving my kids with someone I don't know.

I remember my mums friend used to be in a babysitters club. It was a group of families that all went to the same school and they helped each other out with sitting duties. I think this is a great idea if you can find a group of ppl you know and trust.

Wow, I'm sorry so many of you find it hard to get or afford sitters, but I'm glad I'm not alone. It doesn't help that DH thinks I'm wierd for being really picky about who I would have as a sitter, and is pressuring me to get something organised. I do want to spend time alone together, but its terribly expensive to get a sitter, and like you all said, hard to relax if you don't trust the person completely. I think I would also feel this whole pressure to REALLY enjoy the evening/outing if you were paying a sitter because it ends up costing so much. Sigh!!

That's so true! These days if you go through a Babysitting agency your bill will look something like this:

Registration: $20 (that you pay the first time you hire a sitter, it's a once off thing)
Petrol/transport fee so the sitter isn't out of pocket getting to your place (usually round $10)
$18 per hour or more after midnight or if you have more than one child
You have to provide meals.

This is for an experienced and police checked sitter. They are usually highly capable but as you can see it costs for the peace of mind! DH and I once attended a wedding and it cost us over $150 all up for the babysitter.... that was back in 1997 though... no doubt fees have risen.