DS hates his cot and I need some sleep!!!

DS has not slept in his cot at all since Christmas Day. Every sleep time is a struggle. During the day I have to either let him sleep on me or lay down on his fold out couch with him until he finally falls asleep.

At night he's in with me but he's really restless and has been waking anywhere from 5-10 times between 12-6am. He had 2 teeth come through a little over a week ago, sleep improved for 2 nights and he's been worse than ever since then. Since he has recently figured out how to go from laying down to sitting up by himself, that's also making it harder to keep him laying down. I lay him down, he sits himself up and gives me a big grin. Rinse. Repeat. Once I'm in bed for the night, he moves all over the place, kicks me, turns upside down, flings his arms around. There's no sleep happening on my part at all for most of the night.

DH works nights so I'm on my own (except for tonight - he's taken the night off). I'm so tired, I don't really even know what I'm asking for help with! lol I guess I'm hoping I'm not the only one out there with these issues. I'm not interested in CIO or CC methods, and haven't had luck with NCSS. DS doesn't feed to sleep or is no longer happy to be rocked to sleep either. We have to lay down with him every time. How do I go about getting him to sleep in his cot? At least during the day? Need. Sleep. :(

oh i had to give you big hugs
my ds is 19 months now and hates his cot still.
He won't sleep in his cot during the day at all but will quite happily lay down on his flip out lounge and go to sleep. So during the day thats where he sleeps.
At night he goes to sleep on the sofa and then we transfer him to the cot, we are about to go to a bed as the cot is restricting his movements when he is asleep.
He is a wriggle bum and tosses and turns alot in his sleep, he gets stuck in the cot and thats when he wakes and gets frustrated.

Good luck just wanted to let you know you ae not on your own. :)

You are definitely not alone...although I HAD this problem.

My DS also hated his cot.....he would also only sleep on me during the days or on his fold out couch, so that is what we did.....

At night we co-slept for a long time (easier in a queen) and he would wriggle etc, but I was so knackered I got used to it and just slept through it.

I did put DS in a toddler bed (took the cot rails off) when he turned 15 months....and slowly but surely he progressed on his own (no CC or CIO). Now he sleeps on his own in his own room, in his big boy bed, and puts himself to sleep after a big cuddle, kiss and a little sing song goodnight talk!

It's fantastic now.... :)

Have you thought about ditching the cot altogether and just taking the mattress out and putting it on the floor? I know it has worked for some. That way you can lie down next to him more easily too. When DS is really unsettled I lie down with him on the loungeroom floor with him on his little fold out bed and that usually works. I truly think some kids are just ready for a bigger, more open space a lot earlier IYKWIM?

Good luck, sending you sleepy vibes Megan :hug:

:hug: Hun I know how you feel. DH works nights and it is so exhausting doing it alone and then not getting any type of sleep in, and your DH then getting as good sloid block of a few hours during the day...drove me insane lol. Try the mnatress on the floor next to your bed, be patient wiht him. make the transition gentle. I used to feed DS 1 to sleep then move his to his bed.

:hug: I hope you get some sleep soon xx

Thanks girls for your suggestions. I'm glad to know that others have their babies sleep on them or on the fold out couch! lol

Thanks for the hugs tan32... I need them! :)

Infinity, I had thought about taking the mattress out of the cot. I think that could be an option.

Minimax, I love hearing that it will get better! I'm glad things are working for you with the toddler bed. I actually didn't even think of that as an option just because of his age, but 15 months isn't that far away...well I suppose it is when you're not getting enough sleep! lol That's definitely something for us to think about too for later in the year.

Boomba, thanks for your suggestions too. Ultimately, I think we will end up with the mattress on the floor, but I'm going to give the cot another go right next to me. Night shift is hard isn't it? That, along with having no other help at all and I feel like I'm losing my mind some days! :)

At the moment his cot is in his own room because there is no space in our bedroom, but we decided this weekend we will swap some furniture around so we can move it in next to our bed and see how we go with that. If that doesn't work then the mattress is coming out!!

Interesting in that last night DH was home and DS woke only once for about 15 minutes and that was it (although still not much sleep for me as he kept moving around and spent most of the night sideways!). I'm sure DH doesn't believe me when I say that he wakes constantly.

Good luck Megan.
Having you nearby might help.
We did the mattress on the floor and he's still there. Will be moving to a bed soon (hopefully). He has a queen-size mattress at the moment and a single bed would leave more room for furniture in there. We still have to lie with him to get him to bed. some nights he's happy on his onw, some nights he still needs us but we've had WAY more sleep since giving up on the cot.

Thanks Marcellus.
I've realised today that I have no one IRL who agrees with the gentle approach to sleep. I keep getting told to CIO. My best friend today who has older children and let them cry told me I have to do it or he'll never sleep. She wont let it go no matter how many times I say I'm not doing it and I'm not discussing it with her.

I have never criticised anyone else's parenting so why do others feel it's okay to do it to first time mothers? There's a big difference between giving supportive advice and telling people what they should be doing. I've been on the verge of tears most of the afternoon.

I think it's partly self preservation.

I want to convince myself that I'm doing the right thing - I have to believe it - to the exclusion of all other possibilities. If someone else does something different then they must be wrong. And I have to tell them about it to reinforce my correctness.

It's fundamentally about my insecurities and need for self validation.