daytime routines for toddlers?

Hi everyone.

So since DD2 has been born, things have been difficult between me and DD1. She's two and a half and loves her sister but we're not getting along well and to be honest I don't feel close to her anymore. I feel really awful about it and I don't know what to do. She's an adorable girl but I keep feeling unfairly irritated when she misbehaves and I don't enjoy being around her. I was hoping having a routine might help us both and particularly help her deal with all the changes. How would I go about designing a routine and implementing it, particularly in such a way that it won't be railroaded by DD2? I gave up on routines a long time ago because something would always happen to throw it off.

Any help would be very much appreciated!

Not sure how helpful it is but...

With Charlotte we have mini-routines. So our whole day isn't scripted, but we have progressive events.
So in the morning we make her breakfast - she helps - she gets her own spoon from the drawer and her own bowl. She sits on the bench and pushes the microwave buttons for her porridge. Then we sit together on my bed (the only tv we can get ABC for her cartoons lol) and eat breakfast together.
She then helps me collect the washing, open the blinds and put the washing on.

At lunch time she again helps with making it, gets her own plate out etc. She gets choices of A or B sometimes so she feels involved. We eat lunch at the same-ish time everyday, she has a feed and a nap at the same time-ish during the day.

I try and get her out of the house at least once a day - she gets all excited nad helps with her cabin fever and thus her behaviour.

She helps me make dinner where she can, or I put on a DVD for her, or her music and she amuses herself dancing around the house. We eat dinner the same time-ish every night, then a bath, then cuddle story (or 10 lol) bed.

Charlotte sure has her moments and she whinges or sooks about many things during the day - we have entered the "I want I want I want" phase with a vengence and being with her alone for 2 weeks at a time is getting difficult when she is like that - I don't enjoy her company and get very snappy with her, sometimes unfairly. But I have found that spending some time with her, just doing what she wants for even 15 mins means she will give me a decent time by myself to get things done or watch a cooking show, work etc.

Repetition with her works well, the order. So we run through the days and what happens (Wednesday kinder, Thursday kinder, Friday pick daddy up from the airport etc) and try to add consequences for both misbehaviour and good behaviour.

So we have several routines through the day. She helps me complete tasks I need to get done - helps with washing, putting away dishes, she has a dustpan and broom and her own little spray bottle with water and a tea towel and she 'cleans' the cupboards lol The more she feels she is "helping mummy" and a little bit of dedicated playtime and she is usually very obedient, has fun, and we all have a good and stress free day.

Now that is all obviously with only her, it must be soo much harder with a newborn as well!!

HTH and hopefully someone with toddler/newborn experience can offer something of more value lol
:hug:

**double post**

Thanks, those are some really good ideas. DD1 likes to help and even packed her toys away *without me asking* before she went to bed, it was sooo cute. So I think she'll love to help if I give her the opportunity. My mum was telling me that when she's at their house (they have her fri nights) they give her a tea towel and the wet cutlery so she can help without breaking anything. I should get more creative in that sense.
Having a newie isn't so difficult YET lol, she's still in the sleeping stage. The problem will be if she gets colick *Cringe*

Neenee - I can totally understand where you are coming from with feeling a little bit irritated with DD1 since the birth of DD2 and also other mums I have spoken to have said they feel the same way. I still find it hard and DS is 1. I don't think I can help much with the routine side of things, but...I have noticed that the more of my attention DD gets from me the better behaved she is. So in the early days, instead of trying to get things done while DS was asleep I would allocate half the time to one-on-one time with DD. DD does have a routine in as much as Mon - Child care, Tues - I have a nanny come in for 6 hours to help out, Wed - Swimming, Thurs - playgroup and Friday - Childcare. My husband works overseas for 6 weeks and home for 2 weeks so it is intense and I found it incredibly hard in the early days hence the nanny. I guess getting DD1 involved with everything you do with DD2 will also help.

anyway, hope this helps a bit, it does get easier and your feelings regarding your DD1 will change and she will get used to being a big sister which is a bit change for little ones.

Good luck
Laurin