draining ungrateful older kids, do u keep trying to connect or do u distance urself.

draining ungrateful older kids, do u keep trying to connect or do u distance urself

i've had years of giving and giving so much with the care of children over decades.

i'm really sick of the amount of effort and giving i give in life

and the obliviousness to how much i give.

i'm sick of difficult natures, selfishness, rudeness, disrespect, lack of communication.

some people have a hard time with empty nest syndrome i think it will benenfit my health to have some peace.

i'm wondering how others find the balance between enjoying their own lives and either giving a bit to difficult older children, or just self care and enjoying your own life, or letting your kids know when they are rude and ungateful, or just staying away instead of letting them know.

Rudeness, disrespect and ungratefulness should never be accepted.
Yes, most kids go through these stages but should always be pulled back into line. They expect to be treated with these virtues so therefore they need to show kind.
Never be at their beck and call, they need to remember there are others in the family apart from themselves.
It's hard bring up teenagers but it's important to never let them run the show. Until they start paying the bills or leave home they are still dependant on you.
In any family there is give and take and an even balance must be found to make life bearable.
All the best as you deal with these issues :)

its also children who have left the home who drain me.

one has a baby at a young age so i try to help a bit, but she can be so anxiety ridden and rude that it can be so hard to be around.

another is a whole other story the hurt, suffering, embarrassment she has caused me which is so didnt deserve instead of having a short chat with me, when she misunderstood protective behaviour of mine towards a sibling.

in families people have to work to be tolerant, forgiving, polite, considerate, and i am sick of giving and giving and being on the receiving end of rudeness and ungratefulness or worse.

Sometimes you just have to stop giving and say no more. You need to turn your energy on the younger children still in your care. The older ones who have left the nest are grown up and need to act like grown ups and support themselves.

Regards,
Dianne