Need to wean toddler ASAP!! help!!

So I'm tandem feeding DD1 (2.5 years) and DD2 (4 weeks), but I really need to wean DD1. Breastfeeding her has been a problem for me since I became pregnant the second time, I think because my nipples became more sensitive and I hated the feeling of it. Even now though I really can't stand it. I've tried to just push on with it but it's unbearable and doing a lot of damage to our relationship. I don't really know why I'm happy to feed DD2 and not DD1 but whatever the reason, I just really need to wean her for my own sanity and for our relationship.

As it stands now every time I feed DD2 she wants to feed as well, she refuses to wait until after. If I try to stop her she has enormous tantrums and cries, climbs on me and pulls at my clothes. I'm a single parent so dealing with this by myself while I'm BFing my newborn is ridiculous. I've tried to just limiting her feeds but I think she's getting mixed messages so I think we just need to stop altogether. Also, when she's tired or going to sleep, she wants to hold onto my nipple and this drives me absolutely bananas! She can go to sleep without doing so but we have to have a big fight about it.

Does anyone have any ideas? I've tried giving her a bottle (she's asked for one a few times since DD2 has had EBM from a bottle before) but she refuses it. I've tried giving her hugs instead of boobies but she still wants to BF.

I had to tell Charlotte that the boobs were getting sore now, and tired, and cut down the length of her feeds first.
She also went through a phase of "cuddles, but no feeds" so I would get the boob out and she would cuddle it and every time she went for the latch I would again say, no boobs sore. cuddles only...

I have times I really can't stand the feeling of BF so those times, I feel like I sound horrible, but it works, is to put on the "ouchy" face, a sharp intake of breath and ow ow ow and make moves to break her latch and tell her they are sore. She usually stops and says "poor booby" and that is that. After a while she stopped asking all together.

Good luck hun. Perhaps you could get in contact with a LC to help? And I think you should call the ABA helpline too, they are excellent. :hug:
You are in Perth aren't you? If you need anything let me know :)

If I tell Aurelia boobies are sore, she goes "No! Boobies not sore!" and argues with me lmao! Sounds like Charlotte is much more empathic than my DD1 hehe. Calling the ABA is a good idea, they helped me with lots of problems in the past, including when DD1 decided to start biting and drawing blood. Owch!

Oh dear. She's very determined, isn't she?
Hope the ABA can help.
Maybe you could try something like a counting game, where she can only have 3 sucks or something so she doesn't get letdown...
Good luck!

Its horrible when you begin to hate the feeling of BF isn't it? It happened to me to when i was preg. I really started to not enjoy it at all and was pleased when DD1 weaned. She has asked for some milk a few times since DD2 came along and i have given her a little BF, but i generally tell her, she is a big girl and milk is for little babies. If she has it all there wont be enough left for DD2.
Could you try something along those lines, perhaps offer a special drink in a cup instead? Like watered down juice or flavored milk? Not ideal i know, but just offering suggestions. :)

She seems to prefer just gripping my nipple (OW!) to actual feeding. If it were up to her she would sit on my lap holding on all hours of the day and night. So right now I'm trying to break that habit by only letting her suck; if she just holds onto the boobie, it goes away. This works well enough for the most part as she feeds for shorter periods than she death-grips me, but of course I want her to leave 'em alone completely! She still holds on when she goes to bed though. It's too difficult to get her to sleep when she's upset over not having boobs so I tend to try to convince her but she gets her way in the end anyway.

edit: just saw your post jungle mum. I offered her a bottle with dairy milk, since she's seen DD2 have EBM but she didn't really drink it. Perhaps the milk flow is too slow for her. At the same time I don't really want to get her onto a bottle at this age. I try to offer her other drinks including chocolate milk, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't unfortunately. I've also tried telling her boobs are for babies etc. but she argues with me, "No! My have a boobie!"

So today was day 1 of 'no more boobs day'. She came back from my parents in the afternoon and did want boobies, but I was able to gently say no and give her cuddles. She actually seemed more accepting than usual today, hopefully this continues!

Great progress! Well done. :D

GL with it hun. I'm glad the first day went well.

Your DD is old enough to understand hun, if you keep explaining that she's a big girl now and the boobies are for her sister, because her sister is too little to have other foods like she can. It doesn't mean she'll like it, but she will understand.

The other thing is that giving her bottles at 2.5 might be setting you up for more dramas when you want to stop those. Many mums find that only giving a sippy or straw cup at that age makes things easier down the track. Again, you could play up the "big girl" aspect - you can drink from these cups because you are so grown up etc.

Best of luck hun. I am sure you will get there with persistence.

That sounds really promising - hope things are still going well

How are things going?

She sounds a lot like my DS - an avid breastfeeder who doesn't want to be reasoned with!! 'You're a big boy"; "I'm NOT a big boy!", "the baby can't eat food"; "baby CAN eat food!", "there won't be enough left for baby"; "NO! Enough for baby - baby have that one, I have this one!", and so on.

In the end I had to enlist support from relatives & send him out for the day for a couple of weeks to get him out of the habit. He eventually fully weaned, but still asks for it every day!