I Cant cope anymore!!!!

Before I start my rambling i dont mean any offence to be taken i am just purely venting.


Well DS Zarius has decided as soon as he turned 1 he would stay up half the night and everytime mum or dad go to put him bed on several occasions everynight he would stay up and scream until he coughs so much. I dont know what to do. We do the normal routine have a nice bath, have dinner, have bottle in bed. but as soon as i give him a bottle in bed and walk away it starts. I get so frustrated and then hubby gets frustrated and we start arguing and making threats to eachother. gggrrrrr and i have to do all the running around no matter how much i ask DH (who doesnt work yet) to help out he says yeah yeah i will and then i dont see anything. how do you guys do it with more than one child, im ready to lose it as it is...

is he still awake when you walk away when you give him the bottle if he is maby try staying there until he is asleep and sneak out of the room when he is asleep also maby do some small shh sounds or sing him a song works for also it has to be a calm environment or he wont sleep bubs needs to feel safe and secure if u 2 are yelling and argueing he wont sleep as he will feel unsafe.

A chair next to the cot might help xoxoxo

ETA - umm and you sit in it for awhile (d'oh)...I'm tired too, it's a killer isn't it?

Does your area have Tresilian? I can not praise enough the help they have provided both in a professional capacity and for my friends. They help with routines and helpful suggestions for situations you're currently experiencing.
I hope for all the best for you :hug:

Mr Squidipa - Zarius is nearly asleep when i walk out as I have been told to put them in the cot partially asleep. as i sit here now he is still awake and boucing around. we try to keep a calm area DH has a very short fuse though which makes it really hard and i guess thats why i am not coping i have dh saying how useless and pathetic i am and then carrying on about him not getting sex often and its all about him while i have zarius screaming in my arms while i try to comfort him. ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr

Lulu- thats funny but i am a bit squished for space lol. we sleep in a caravan (28ft long) and have an open shed for living space.

Charlie - whats Tresilian? I have never heard of them and how would i find out it they are here?

It sounds like separation anxiety. can you stay with him, shusshing, patting, singing (whatever sort of thing he likes) till he's properly off to sleep?

And dude. Seriously. helping out is a wonderful aphrodesiac. He should try it.

Oh man :hug: I remember that to well still and its so many years on. :(

I went out and bought a second hand corner modular lounge chair from the oppy, put a sheet over it and use to sit in it, not making eye contact with my little man and would read out loud (but not to loud) until he feel asleep. Just my presents would settle him and it did take a while in the first week but after a while it only took 10 mins for him to fall asleep. It also gave me some time away from DH who was getting ****ty with it all to and yes we fought just like you guys.

I also had a spare bed were I would crawl into bed with him and co sleep with him until he fell alseep if need be.

Men can be the biggest knobs. And trust me....although your DS is little now, he understand that mum is there for him and its a bond that many men just cant get over :( . I also learnt to throw things...yes throw the washign basket at DH, throw a tea towel at him and I let the inner biartch out to meet him ;)

:hug: hon try and stay calm for your sanity

Rinnie, you can google tresilian for a detailed description of the service and their locations. I noticed there is one in Brisbane. Your GP can refer you to the service. There could be a slight waiting list.
The ladies are predominately midwives and teach age appropriate techniques for settling or behaviourable problems.
Perhaps there needs to be a tresilian for naughty daddy's who whinge and don't help.

maby cuddle with him and even lay down yourself even if he is bouncing around

it does not help that your DH has a short fuse and rants and raves he needs to calm down and take a chill pill

kids including babies pick up on tention in a big way of they sence it they wont settle very well

Maz - I have tried laying in bed with him and being all relaxed even pretended to go to sleep and it doesnt seem to work. he crawls all over the bed or couch or what ever all hypo. once we get our house sorted and actually have another spare room it will be great coz Zarius and i can just crash in there and then i can crawl into bed when dh is asleep hehehehe

Charlie - yes there should be a treslilian for naughty daddies lol. we are currently looking at like a marriage camp or something similar so we have that outside person to look into the relationship and teach us some new strategies.

Mr Squidipa - I have tried all those things and he still fights it really bad usually 8pm he starts to wind down. which leaves no time for me and dh to wind down enough and to have "our time" before i am too tired. I cant believe how exhausting it is to have Zarius stay up soo late

how many sleeps is he having a day hon? maybe you need to cut back on them or cut them down so he's exhasted at night. Maybe an hour before bedtime take him outside and do some pyhsical stuff so he can get that extra energy out.

:hug: hon...motherhood sucks at the best of times

Hi Rinnie,

Hugs to you hun, it sure is hard work.

My first was like that, she was hyper until about 10 pm at night....I couldn't believe it, before I had kids I thought they all slept 7 pm till 7 am - not so...

Are there any foods that he is eating that might be making him hyper?
What time is his last daytime nap - is he still on two or has he gone to a middle of the day one and how much sleep does he have in the day?
Do you get him out in the fresh air for a run around in the arvo?

Sorry for all the questions, just trying to think what could be going on. Do you play any music to him as part of the settling, I have used the CD Music for Dreaming for both of mine and they love it.

If I think of any more I will come back.

Good luck.
Laurin

ETA : snap Maz, great minds think alike :)

HI guys. with zarius's sleeps it all depends on him, sometimes he will go down at about 9:30 am and sleep till lunch then go back down at 2-3 pm but most of the time he goes down about 11 and sleeps till 1pm. yes we go outside as I have alot of animals that need feeding so we walk around seeing all the animals and play with the dogs and the pig, but he cant walk yet so he is in the pram. we usualy play pretty full on in the arvo he cawls around chasing the ball or he walks as far as he can on his push around car. i have just run out of ideas.

I dont think any of the food he has hyps him up its all fresh fruit or vegies and some meat not alot of sweets he has watered down juice sometimes but most of the time its water or milk bottles.

Just curious how often does he nap during the day and what time does he wake from his last nap? Maybe he's sleeping to much/late during the day

HM- He decides when he sleeps really lol. Sometimes he goes down at 9 am till around 11am then again at 2-4 pm but most days its 12pm till about 3 pm sometimes a little earlier. it hasnt been to bad this week as he has been sick. so he sleeps alot lol, but he has got diahrear and it must burn him coz he wakes up everytime he needs a nappy chang and he has a massive rash that hurts ( puting bepanthin on it)