Preschool party dilemma

Okay, so I've come across a small problem...

We scheduled DD's 4th birthday party for the weekend immediately after her birthday. I spoke to Mum, who has booked her flights, and so I did invites and dropped them all off to preschool yesterday. It's in nearly three weeks, so not really long notice, I thought reasonable.

While we have some friends and family coming most of the kids will be the girls from preschool and some of the boys.

When I picked her up yesterday, one of her favourite little friend's Mum's says, she's booked her DD's party for the same day, immediately after ours is scheduled to finish. She said she'd look into changing it. She tried this morning, but wasn't able to (it's at one of those playland places).

Now, we've known each other since we were pg, but we are no longer that close. I know her DD's birthday is close to mine, but she's never had a party including all DD's friends and I just didn't think to ask.

She's asking me if I can change the time to half an hour earlier, but that would mean us starting at 9:30am in the morning, which is not great in terms of preparation time. Also, DP's brother, SIL and niece probably won't arrive until late (not our problem, I know, but still). My Mum will only be staying until Sunday afternoon and I'm not sure I want to rush DD off to another party half an hour after her's. Plus, I'll have to tell everyone about the change in time. Several people have already told me they'd be coming.

I kinda assumed that even if the other Mum was going to have a party for her DD it would be the following day, since that's her DD's actual birthday.

Oh help, what do I do? The other thing is she's been communicating this via email, which are a bit short and not a great way of sorting something out. So I intend to call her to talk about it. I know she isn't pleased, as to be expected, but it isn't my fault!! I have really good reasons for not changing anything about our party, but that means DD will probably miss out on her little friend's party and her little friend might find that a fair few can't come. I don't mind if some choose the other party over ours (we do have 18 other kids on the list apart from this friend), but I have a dreadful feeling that since I got the invitations out first, it'll be less likely to be ours that they miss. :(

I can't believe I am spending the day worrying about this... Poor DD was so upset last night when I talked to her about perhaps not having her friend at her party or going to her friend's party. Life lesson, I guess, but not a nice one!

I would be inclined to change the time by half an hour and just notify the people who have already said they are attending - I am sure they wont mind.

For what its worth DD last year in PP received on the same day 2 invites to 2 parties on the same day (similar scenario to yours). Most parents sent their children to both parties as they thought it would be a bit unfair on either child to have limited numbers at their party if that makes sense? So I wouldnt be too concerned about no-one showing to the other childs party.

As for your dilemma about sending DD to the other party - perhaps your mum could go along and therefore spend some time with her there. Am sure your mum would enjoy watching DD interacting with all her little friends and having fun.:p

I'd just keep the party as planned and not send DD to the other party. My DD wouldn't last 2 parties in one day! If it wasn't going to be a big deal for you, i'd change it by half an hour, but if thats a problem then i wouldn't worry.

As for worrying about if people will go to the other party or not, it's probably just giving you gray hairs for nothing. ;) It's not your fault, it's no ones' 'fault' really, just an unfortunate co-incidence. People will do as they please regardless of your worrying.

Your DD will probably still be excited about her party and all the pressies she's going to get. I bet she will have soon forgotten about the other party. ;)

You're right, Ang. I can easily pop a quick note in everyone's pigeon holes and let them know it'll be half an hour earlier. No big deal. DD will just have to cope with the extra excitement and I'm guessing so will we afterwards!

And there's always a silver lining, I can take my Mum and DD to the next party if we want to and we get to escape MIL! Poor DP. Who knows, they might even clean up. If it was any other child in her class, I'd probably not take her, but this really is one of her best friends.

These birthday parties are a never-ending source of stress. DD has two to go to this weekend as well. And yet I'd feel terrible if I didn't do one for her or we didn't take her along!