What else can I try?? I need something that works!!

:wall: Frustrated, tired Mumma here.

My DD is nearly 13mths old and since 11mths has refused to be fed to sleep. We are BF'ing and she used to feed to sleep. Well, her day sleeps she won't do this the last 2mths (night time yes she does) so we had to resort to lying down with her until she drifted off to sleep.....

Now.... DD won't even do that.... she climbs all over me, climbs up onto the bed head and bounces up and down, blows raspberries on my tummy etc.... (which is cute but not when i need her to sleep!) and basically resists all feelings of tiredness she may have.

DD can just go and go and go and go..... she has no 'off' switch..... :rolleyes: even after a bad night like last night, waking 2hrly, she will last alllll day until she goes to bed and thats with a struggle.

So.... at the moment the only way to help her get to sleep is by putting her in her cot and telling her its sleep time now and walking out, when she gets upset i go back in, lie her back down and try again.... this can take ages. If after 15mins it doesn't work I pick her up and take her out....try again later. OR if she's really distressed I will take her out. I can't stand the screaming and crying and we do follow the gentle parenting styles anyway.

I'm at a loss :(

:help:

Night time sleeps aren't good either but that's for another thread..... please any suggestions for day sleeps for a 13mths old who won't feed to sleep anymore and won't let me lie with her... oh, and she won't be rocked or patted to sleep either.

hun the cot thing is what we did at around 9 months, still do if needed, though if she gets upset i dont leave the room,i lay her back down and stand at the end of the cot near the door, she can still see me, i just keep laying her down, if i stay she generally stops getting up and goes to sleep, thats usually only for day sleeps, nights she feeds to drowsy then goes down, she has two blankies she takes and cuddles to sleep

My DS is the same. Sometimes we've hit on things that help, but we still basically have the same problem.

How many day sleeps? - could she be transitioning to one and be not quite tired enough for two?

Will she sleep in the pram or car...? We started walking DS to sleep and still often do for day sleeps - it's often the only thing that works.
Stories and singing also help sometimes. Boring, repetitive, chanting-type stories...

I have just strated playing music in DD's room. she has gone from being a nightmare to put to sleep, walking, rocking, feeding, patting to lying down listening to music and going to sleep. I can not believe the difference it has made. I play anything from Bernard Fanning to Alison Krauss.

It was my little miracle, but i am sure it's not everyone's. Might be worth a shot though.

ohhh great idea JM!

Nope she still very much needs 2 x sleeps a day. She has a morning one for about 1hr sometimes a bit more and then her arvo nap is usually 1.5-2hrs long. She needs 2 naps in the daytime as her night sleep is so bad.

I have left Sarah McLachlan playing in the room on the i pod just now.... but she ended up falling asleep next to me finally....
She does feed to sleep 'sometimes' during her day sleeps but only if she's cried and that's exhausted her... :(

This sleep stuff is so hard at times. I always 'go with the flow' but when your DD is 13mths and you can't remember the last time you slept more than 3hrs straight.... it gets a bit much!! :doh:

Plus it doesn't help when you are around Mum's that have babies that sleep "all night long" arggh!!!!! LOL!

I find that if DD isnt "full" or just had something to eat, she will fight sleep to. Mayb try changing your routine around a little bit so she has something to eat before she goes down.

Music is a good idea, it also helps DD wind down. Ive been playing musc for her since about 6 months old. I just got a couple of them cd's from kmart.. i think one is lullabies and the other is rainforest sounds.

13 months was around the time DD went from having her 2 X one hour sleeps to just one 2-4 hour sleep. Not saying you have to do that, just something to think about. Mayb an hour every sleep isnt enough for her to get into a deep decent sleep.

Hows her room? eg.. temp.. darkness etc..

Reading your post, i feel shes having trouble winding down. Going from being an active toddler to "you need to go to sleep now". Mayb she needs some encouragement.. eg, TV off, massage.. etc.

Just throwing some ideas out there HTH and goodluck xo

Yeah, it sounds like she needs more of a wind down - the trick is figuring out what will help her to do that.
I remember when a breastfeed was all DS needed.... oh, those were the days! We're still struggling with this too, so interested in any other ideas you get. I'll have to try music I think.

I take him for a walk when he's tired and he's out like a light within 5 minutes (sometimes it's 1). But if we try to put him down for a sleep... IF it works it takes 20 minutes minimum...

At bed time we have a bath, walk, books, lights out then.... 1.5 hours of stories, singing, cuddling, crying, exasperation until finally he conks out.

yep - we've just been through this - we moved her to a mattress on the floor up against her wall so we could lie down with her and be a barrier at the same time to get around it but found the same thing after a couple of weeks. Good news is she got over it for the most part and will got to sleep (in a single bed now not the cot) on her own especially through the day, but mostly now I got for a nice evening walk with her in the pram at bedtime after her bottle, and put muslin cloth over the pram and she goes happily to sleep and DH moves her to bed a couple of hours later (at night) through the day just leave her in pram if she's not gone on her own in the bed. Does your DD like the pram?

I remember with Pip I'd put his rocker in front of a window and he'd watch the leaves on the tree move, that would settle him / wind him down. Guess you're already trying the low light approach in the half hour leading up to sleep?

Thanks girls... yep we've tried all that.... helping her to wind down, no tv on, not making her laugh and get excited etc... she's just a very 'highly active' bub and always has been. Has always found it hard to relax and unwind (a bit like me I think :rolleyes:).... we have a good bedtime routine and it's going well lately...she's been really good and not taking too long to go to sleep... but day time.... we are struggling with day time settling at the moment.

She likes the pram but not always... she does fuss at times and most of the time if I am to use it as a means of getting her to sleep it can take an hour of walking to get her to sleep and then after that, she will quite often wake up when i go to get her out!!!! (she always has one eye on me i swear!!! LOL!)

Hmmmm.... maybe I'll start doing the massage again like I used to....

Is she still wrapped? Maybe that will help?

have you tried giving her a comforter?? i gave DD a blankie for sleeptimes at around 6 months when o worked out she loved to have it on her face when we fed in bed, its just flannelette (she actually now has two in bed) she cuddles then, as soon as i lay her down the hands go out to locate the blankies, she rolls on to her side and cuddles them close and goes to sleep quiet quickly, worth trying!
i also take it in the car if i know we may be out around a sleep time, she falls asleep easier then too

IKWYM Ren. DD sometimes feeds to sleep, and sometimes I have to rock her. Luckily the rocking still works for me. I would love her to be able to go to sleep herself. She doesn't take long at all when I rock her, she knows it's sleep time and closes her eyes. But she would never do that if I put her in her cot! I think the problem is she doesn't know that if she lies down and is still she can go to sleep. And I don't know how to teach her!! She just will not stop. As soon as I put her down she's up, walking round her cot, yelling out, jumping around. Just lie down!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

So I'm no help, I don't know how to teach her how to go to sleep!! But I can sympathise. You'd think they'd be tired after the crappy night sleep!! :hug:

Nope we stopped wrapping at 11wks... DD hated it!!!! :lol:

Olive - I love the idea of a 'comforter' but she doesn't seem interested in any of them that i've offered... although she has lately taken a liking to one of her dolls so maybe i should put that in with her more often.... we have some flanelette wraps that i could use as a comforter they are so soft.... thats a good idea. I might try that as of tomorrow :D
And now that its getting cooler (soon anyway) it will be nice for her to snuggle with it.

DH and I read DD 3 night time books as part of her night time routine so we decided today that as of tomorrow we'll start reading her 2 or 3 books before her day sleeps. Quite books that are going to help relax her and unwind her..... as part of her daytime nap routine time (not the same one's) and only these books will be read before her day sleeps...... we've never bothered with a daytime nap routine but perhaps we need to introduce one now.... help calm her down.

Will let you know how it goes as of tomorrow! :pray:

we had very similar problems with DD at about the same age. i would end up trying to put her down for her day sleeps and she wouldnt go and would just end up being awake for HOURS...then her night sleeps she would take three hours to get down with rocking, pacing etc etc...She ended up dropping the second day sleep, it made such a difference, i didnt think she was ready cause she was so young and her night sleeps were so bad but she went right back to feeding to sleep for both day and night sleeps and her night sleep improved almost right away, went from waking three plus times to once or twice!! her new afternoon sleep time was 10am till about 1pm. Good luck

So perhaps she may be transitioning from 2 day sleeps down to 1.... if she is, then I will just need to go with the flow..... however let's say she falls asleep around 10am (she's rubbing her eyes, getting cranky etc so i put her in bed and she falls asleep next to me) but then wakes again by say 11:30am.... she'll definitely need another sleep that arvo!!!

So... should I try and hold off letting her go to bed until say 12pm? By that stage, she'll be so tired she won't fight sleep as much!!!! drag it out then hoping she has a big 2-3hr sleep in the middle of the day like 12-3pm would be good..... ?

Is this what others did when their baby transitioned to 1 day sleep? Interested to hear how it all works and how do you get them to have the big sleep in the middle of the day not the morning or arvo????

Oh hun it sounds crap!

You have been given some awesome advice, but I wonder if perhaps you gave yourself a holiday from thinking and trying things. What happens if you just do what you want and dd has to fit around? So she may not sleep in the day and that might improve the night, or she may have one sleep or she may go to bed later.

then in a few days reassess and see if you can see a new pattern...

You're such a great mummy!! Squishy hugs to you!