Want to breastfeed next time

Hi.

I'm looking to talk to some Mums who breast fed a subsequent baby after bottle feeding their first baby. I bottle fed my son after trying for 3 weeks to breastfeed, I found it very distressing although I had a lot of milk & no attachment problems I emotionally found breastfeeding very hard to deal with. Prior to having my son I thought watching other people breastfeeding was just lovely, however when I started doing it myself I was very surprised to find that I found it personally HORRIBLE. I really, really really hated breastfeeding & found myself resenting both the process of feeding & I am ashamed to say, my son as well. :crying:

Many people say that breastfeeding is a bonding experience, well I found it the exact opposite. Every time I had to feed I felt a wall going up between my son & I. Once I stopped breastfeeding I was able to start loving & bonding with my son in a way I could not while I was breastfeeding. I would love to breastfeed any other children I have (my brother & I were exclusively breastfed until 12 months old so I come from a very pro-breastfeeding background) but am nervous about facing this again.

While I'm not pregnant again (yet!) I want to start preparing myself well in advance for how I may cope with it next time. If you've had problems like this & managed to get past them for another baby could you please post here? Of course, if you've had other issues that's fine too, but what I'm specifically looking for is when you've had an emotional issue. I had no problem with supply or attachment at all. Thank you, have a nice day :)

I hope you manage to work through this Darcy's Mum. :hug:

Did you want me to change the title to something more specific so you'll attract the attention of people who've been in similar situations? Something like 'Advice/experiences from those who initally found it emotionally difficult to breastfeed but did' or...well, it's a hard one to sum up!

Is expressing an option? It's hard work, but I do know there are some parents on here who express (or have expressed) full time.

Anyway, I wanted to wish you all the best as you prepare to work through this. xo

Probably a good idea to change the title. I tried a few times to come up with one. thanks!

No probs. :) What do you want it changed to?

You're not alone hun! I got that stressed and unwell after trying to breastfeed that the MCHN was going to send a psychologist over for me. I too really badly want to feed my next child!

Just remember we're doing a good job!

Do you have any clues about why you might have felt that way? Do you have issues of abuse in your past? Do you have issues about your body?

I think it's worth going over this with a counsellor, even now before you get pregnant, to try to work through what thoughts and underlying beliefs might have been contributing to your feelings.

And if you can't get past it, and you can't manage to breastfeed, well, you'll have done the best you can, and that's all you can do.