Just looking for some direction.....

I think I just need to get this off my chest and feel free to let me know if Im jibbering on but I just feel like I need a bit of reassurance that what Im doing isnt setting dd up for heartahe later on down the track...

My daughter and I had a bit of a rough start as she had reflux and it wasnt picked up for 8 weeks. Also I think she is just a baby that likes to be held, unlike a LOT of my friends experiences V is pretty full on...mostly Im fine with it but sometimes I question whether I can keep up the pace when I return to ft work. (V will be 13 months)

At the moment

1. V sleeps from around 10pm through to 1 wake up in the night or early morning and then wakes up for good around 6 or 7, pretty lucky I think, but her daytime sleeps are getting shorter and basically consist of 1 sleep cycle if that. I feel like Im constantly trying to get her to sleep which consists of feeding to sleep or rocking which I do so she can be put to sleep possibly by my dh or if she is already full. I have reintroduced wrapping as this seems to calm her down (previously it just used to aggravate her). Its very rare that she will resettle during the day. By evening she is pretty tired and has a massive gorge out from say 730pm (after a nice bath) till 10 when Im sure she is dead to the world.

2. V is breast fed and only has ebm as a way for her to still be able to use a bottle if needed. She doesnt like the bottle but will take it if she has to. We actually have to make ourselves do it and I hate it when I get it wrong and she isnt hungry and I waste ebm so I only express a little bit.... She HATES the dummy. Hasnt found her thumb yet...

3.Im worried that when I go back to work V wont cope with the sudden change so Im going to put her in long day care 1 day a week at 6 months. I thought this would help with her letting others care for her too (dh is getting more love from her now but she is pretty much wanting to be attached to me) This is also why we are peersisting with the ebm.

4.Dh is somewhat supportive, he would do cc if it meant things were better for us but I dont want to. I have told him I need his full support when being questioned by relatives and friends as I feel a bit hypesensitive to other ppls comments (plenty of old fashioned advice, not much actual useful help...). My sil coslept with her 1st born till he was about 2 so I know I have a bit of backup there but I am worried that my in laws will try and tell us to just put her down and I will get cranky. I yelled at my mil at Christmas and I feel terrible and dont want to repeat that....

I guess what Im asking is is there a way I can use the gentle parenting techniques Im using now and then will I have to tighten things up a bit when V is around 10 months (I go back to work in Jan next year) or will the introduction of solids etc impact on how she settles, feeds etc enough to naturally find a better routine? Should I see how V settles in long day care or should I prepare her by being more routine oriented?

I dont really have time to read but I have the science of parenting and wonder weeks books and they seem like what I agree with but I dont really subscribe to any school of thought, just what I feel is right for V my dh and I.

I dont even know what I want to know anymore lol...Does what ive said Im doing sound right? Im just doubting myself atm...:wall:

Thanks

Natty