Toddler night terrors - what do you do?

At least I assume DS1 is having night terrors. It only happens occasionally, but he's inconsoleable for up to 10 minutes. He cries, screeches, calls for mummy when mummy is holding him. DH and I turn lights on, cuddle him, talk to him, rub his back etc etc etc ... yet he doesn't seem to wake, just keeps howling. He eventually calms down and whimpers himself back to sleep (in our bed). This happens maybe once every week or two ... and happened at daycare for the first time this week. Must have been a shock to his carer's system!

DS1 is a happy kid, is in a stable happy home, likes daycare, nothing strange or out of the ordinary has happened lately - DS2 arrived three months ago, time for DS1 to have got used to the fact. He thrives in every way.

Maybe the occasional night terror is perfectly normal. It just sux seeing your "baby" so upset.

What do you do when your toddler has a night terror, what works for you to calm them down? Any idea what may cause them ... isn't an almost 2-year-old too young to have frightening dreams?

Cheers, Andie

Hi, nothing will usually work to calm a night terror, its just a case of waiting it out unfortunetly. They really are not awake and conscious of whats around them when they have them. My sil son had them and it was awful. Dont worry about whether or not it cause he is happy etc cause it said that this has nothing to do with them.

We are only just coming out the other side of night terrors & it is the worst thing ever.

It's not about situtations or anything like that, it is simply that they are going between two sleep stages too quickly & their brain doesn't cope which causes the screaming. As absolutely heartbreaking & distressing as it is for us as the parents they are not really upset & won't remember a thing in the morning if it is a true night terror.

There is very little you can do when the actual NT is happening, you just have to ride it out & comfort them if they are confused when they wake. Generally they will look at you like "why on earth are you in my room?" However if they are occurring at the same time every night you can help to avoid them. Most kids are like clockwork, every night it will be at the same time so you can gently wake them 5-10 minutes before the usual time, give them a glass of water or take them to the loo (or change their nappy). What you are doing is waking them so when they go back to sleep they will move more slowly through the sleep stages & it won't happen. It's a pain to set your alarm for say 1.15am, but it will take 5 minutes & you won't have that distress every night.

The sad thing is for you that this may just be the start. Night terrors run on a specific pattern, they build up gradually are bad for a while & then decrease to nothing. You may be lucky & they don't build up to anything bad :crossfingers: Or like us you may end up with 4-5 every night for several months.

The one thing that is unusual is the one during the day. That one may very well have been a nightmare, because night terrors are unusual during the day as they don't go through as many sleep cycles. Do you know how he woke up? Was he upset or did he go back to sleep easily?

DD#1 started having night terrors shortly after she turned one. As far as I know its a fairly common thing, and nothing to really be concerned about.
I was advised to hold her while she thrashed so she wouldn't hurt herself, but not to wake her.

She rarely has them now, but its awful isn't it? Seeing them so distressed in their sleep, and you not being able to do anything :(

you know we thought chloe was having terrors, but then we worked out she was sleeping funny and had pins and needles!! she was the same inconsolable, it was awful. not saying it is.....but it could be??

other than that just cuddles....that's all you can do, and watch what they watch on TV.....even the simplist things can be scary....

hope he gets over them soon :(

xxx

My eldest had night terrors which were probably at their worst between the age of 2 & 3 she is now 4.5 and we very rarely have them now, every now and then she will call out but when I go in she is asleep happily. She is usually a happy girl and it worried me that there might be something wrong with her but apparently its all normal. Tahlia would freak out if I touched her while she was having a night terror, she wouldnt wake up but would kick and scream if I touched her. So I just sat next to her and said over and over "its ok, mummy's here, mummy loves you". Whether or not it worked or if she heard it I dont know, eventually the night terror finished and all was quiet again.They are scary and its hard to know what to do. I was told do not wake her up because that can scare her. She never remembered the dream, in fact the dreams she did have that she remembered and sounded scary were not ones she had night terrors with. They are at an age when they are trying to take in so much of the big world they live in, its confusing and can sometimes be too much for their little brains to handle.

Sorry I cant give any answers to stop it from happening but just know that it is very normal and he will more than likely grow out of it.

Night terrors are not about fear & they are not dreams, nightmares are but not night terrors. A night terror is actual a physical response in the brain when they go between two sleep stages too quickly.

That makes me feel better that they are not a bad dream. I was worried about all the bad things she might be thinking about during the night and where they might come from.

Thanx Sarah :)

I was exactly the same Megan, I kept thinking OMG did I yell at him & frighten him, am I causing this!? I was reassured by our pead that it's definitely not a dream, made me feel ap much better too :)

Thanks for the responses everyone. Interesting to know the NTs are not related to bad dreams ...

Cam hasn't had another NT since my last post, but I daresay there's another one round the corner somewhere. Sounds like the way we respond to him is consistent with how most people deal with it. Glad to hear we're not the "only ones".

Sarah, your thoughts about noting the time of his NT and then taking action to partly wake him is interesting. TBH, I haven't noticed any consistent time that it happens - I guess we're too busy dealing with it than glance at the clock. Next time I'll see when it happens and go from there. As for his NT at daycare, I don't know exactly how he woke, but from what his carers said it was the same as at home. I understood he went back to sleep.

Let's just hope this is a passing phase of toddlerhood ...

Andie

Andie, It's terrible isn't it?
I really learnt a lot from Sarah and she really helped us manage D's, Hers weren't as regular as Sarah's little guys but when you've got someone belting you every night and them not even being aware....I take my hat off to her.

We went through that with DS1 whos now 4 and hardly ever has them now. We got "rescue remedy" in a spray bottle and would spray that quickly into his mouth (its a fine mist, not enough to choak on) and he think that helped, somebody also suggested we give him a spray before he went to sleep on days when he was custard (over stimulated or really tired) to try to prevent them. They are awful things to watch and I hope you are rid of them soon