Fussy eater, getting worried

Hi guys

DS has never been the best eater. Ever since we started solids he has been quite fussy with texture and flavour but in recent times it has gotten so bad im starting to get a bit worried. He has recently had gastro, this was about two weeks ago and before that we were having issues with his poo which the doc put down to a lactose intolerance. As a result he is still on formula mainly and we are changing over to cows milk really slowly (he seems to have an issue with cows milk but is fine with normal formula).

Typically his diet is toast and dry cheerios for breakfast (he wont have the cheerios with milk), lunch is cheese sandwich with some veg (typically cucumber, brocolli, carrot, tomato whatever is in the fridge) He will pick at the sandwich and veg and wont eat huge amounts of it. The only dinner he will eat properly is spag bol (pasta as finger food and sauce by spoon) anything else he will flat out refuse to eat. Last night he had lasagne which i thought would be ok but no he didn't touch it. He has a few snacks during the day, his fav at the moment is salada's. I try and give him fruit but he wont touch it, maybe will have a mouthful of banana and thats it.

My issue is that his diet just doesn't change and im worried that he is missing out on vitamins and minerals. Also i think he has too many carbs. The pasta sauce we make him is filled with veg as its the only way we can get him to eat it at the moment. He laso seems to be very reliant on formula, he will have 200 ml when he wakes up, 200ml before his morning nap and at bed time he has 300ml (last night he had 500ml though as he didn't touch his dinner). There is not alot we can do about the formula situation as we are weaning him very slowly to hopefully help with the poo issues last time.

Any tips on what we can do to help him eat a more varied diet and hopefully stop him drinking so much formula? Im at a loss at the moment and dont know what to do.

He doesn't sound like he is outside the realm of normal to me. So many kids this age seem to live on fresh air alone, even previously good eaters. So long as you keep offering the variety that you do then I can't see any lasting issues as he gets older, but if you only ever gave him his preferred food, that's when I think a lot of the trouble starts kwim? Plus when they have been sick, they sometimes just don't have an appetite for much.

I wouldnt be to concerned with his eating patterns or quantity at this age. Remember his stomach is the size of his clenched fist, so he might not eat more than this amount in a sitting. Children tend to eat smaller more frequent meals, so offer 5 meals a day. His milk intake sounds okay to me to. As long as you keep offering the good stuff, he will eventually start eating properly as he gets older, just dont fall into the trap of offering quick, non-nutritious meals just to get him to eat something. I have always been told that if they are hungry they will eat, and eat what they require, they wont starve themselves. It can also take 2 to 3 weeks after sickness for eating to come back.

Another question I have those is the lactose intolorance, what age was he when it started and what formula were you using? The reason I ask is that lactose intolerance that is started by a sickness such as gastro can hang around for quite sometime, and sometimes unless treated strictly can go away slower or have relapses. DD1 was diagnosed at 7mths and began on lactose free formula, this slowly became not good enough and she was put on soy products by 10 mths. She had to stay strictly on complete no dairy, even the slightess bit of dairy would upset her and the dr said doing this was preventing her system from repairing itself properly. We trialled her on small amounts at 12 mths, still a problem but again at 15 and she was fine, now a dairy eating queen. Dr said most children will stay lactose intolerance to at least 1, some even 2 or 3.

If you are really concerned about their food intake, try hiding fruit and vegies in things, purees can me mixed into things like mash, fruit blended into milk etc.

Sorry no advice just wanted to let you know we are having similar struggles here. DD is breastfed though and if it wasn't for still breastfeeding, I would be very worried she wasn't getting enough vitamins/minerals some days!! Some days she eats ok other days hardly much at all... she picks at food too. I think it is pretty normal hey. Frustrating though at times as we tend to worry don't we!! I try not to worry as DD's weight gains are great and she is well in average in the charts. I do sometimes wonder though when she's really cranky if it's too do with not eating enough? I offer 3 meals and 2 snacks a day.

I also have battles with her not wanting to be in her highchair much anymore :wall:

Is there a particular reason why he is still having formula? After 12 months it is not necessary, and it is common for toddlers to not eat enough when they are still drinking formula. It really fills them up and can stop them eating well, and this is a problem because despite the ads, formula does not contain the nutrients kids need after 12 months - solids are far more important.

This can happen with cows' milk too, but often it is easier to cut back on cows' milk than formula. Would you consider weaning from formula to cows' milk? The recommended maximum amount of milk at that age is 3 cups per day - so three lots of 200mls is still in that range, but you might find that with less, over time, the solids intake increases. This certainly worked for me with DS1 - he was having too much cows' milk as I replaced each breastfeed he dropped with cows' milk :redface: and he was drinking lots of milk and not eating much. Luckily cutting back on the milk worked - it took about 2 weeks and then he suddenly became a much better eater.

If the eating doesn't improve, rather than giving formula as a substitute, perhaps giving him some vitamin drops like pentavite might be better. This actually stimulates appetite rather than filling them up like formula, and the vitamins in pentavite are better absorbed than those in formula. Of course neither of these options are as good nutritionally as food, but the drops might give you some reassurance.

I do also agree that at that age many kids seem to live on fresh air and do just fine. Kids nearly always eat what they need - it's just that sometimes filling up on formula/milk can get in the way of that. If the milk intake drops and the eating doesn't improve, I would suggest that he probably just doesn't need to eat much just now. Appetite does seem to come and go with toddlers.

GL.

MR: I agree with you on the formula and trust me i DONT want him on it anymore. When he was 12 months we started to wean him onto cows milk and we got to about half formula and half cows milk (he wouldn't drink straight cows milk) and he had the most horrendous poos that weren't getting better. It was basically like diarrhoea and was causing him alot of issues with nappy rash etc. This went on for about 6 weeks when we went to the doc who told us that he is lactose intolerant. I dont buy the lactose intolerance at all as he has never had an issue with formula. There is just something in cows milk that his tummy doesn't like. We are currently weaning again but very slowly. We have also tried A2 milk and encountered the same issue. I think i will ask for some tests to try and determine what it is in cows milk that he reacts to.

studymum: The apparent lactose intolerance started at about 13 months. We were using a cows milk based formula with no issues.He doesn't seem to have an issue with any other dairy just cows milk. Like i said above im not convinced that it is lactose intolerance.

Shanti: I haven't weighed ds in ages. To be honest i am a bit worried as he has always been such a good weight gainer im scared to see if he has lost weight. At this point due to his illness i think ill put it off a bit longer before i check what he weighs. I think also the most frustrating thing is when i cook him a meal and he doesn't touch it or throws it to the dog. I agree with the crankiness too. Some days he is impossible to control and seems cranky coz he is hungry but wont eat his dinner. Give him a salada though and he will woof it down. I just cant win. A friend of mine started to have issues with the high chair also and she got her dd a little set of table and chairs and would feed her sitting at the table. This solved their high chair wars so maybe something like that might work for you also.

i guess i need to know where to go from here. Do i feed him and if he doesn't eat what i give him do i just end the meal there and not give in to him with what i know he will eat? I want him to eat more varied things rather than spag bol every night. If i do this though and he doesn't eat his dinner his formula intake will increase and i feel like i will be chasing my tail.

MantaRay - that's great advice you've given Beautitude. Does the same advice go for breastfed toddlers though? I feel as if DD is having probably too many breastfeeds in the day AND night therefore she doesn't eat that much or as much as I'd like her too. I honestly feel that most of her weight gains she has is due to my breastfeeding. I feel she is a bit too reliant on it.... how do I go about that? I'm not ready to wean her yet. And I feel awful refusing her a feed if she's asking for it and clawing at my top! LOL! Quite often if it's lunch time and she's asking for 'booby' i will say to her 'not now, have some lunch then you can have some after' so i fill her up on foods first. but she still prefers boob lol

Beautitude - If i were you (and this is only my opinion) I would probably persist with offering all different sorts of foods, avoid the salada's for a little while, they do bloat little tummies quickly i've heard so he's filling up on those and his milk. I would offer 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks in between if he seems cranky etc and might want a snack, and if he refuses, then let him know that he will have to wait for his next meal if he wants to eat if he is not going to have something now. Tell him you are only offering (a) or (b) at this meal. (not salada's).... they understand more than we realise so keep talking to him too.... help him to understand what you mean. I wouldn't offer more formula either... like MR said try to reduce that a bit now. GL with the tests. we are looking at getting DD allergy tested too but for sleep issues.
We have just started baby sign language hoping it may help with DD's frustration.....

Good luck :hug: