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I am starting to stress out that something is going to happen to bub, or DH, or me.
I can't see how it can all work out ok.
Do others have these feelings too, or am i just paranoid?
I have to stay away from the loss threads, cos they just freak me out at the moment.
In reality, there aren't any reasons why i should be so worried, but that doesn't help.
I often had worries like this in late pregnancy. Very occasionally I had dreams. I think the key is to keep reminding yourself that all is well, you are healthy, bubs is ok. Try to keep your mind busy while you rest your body (when you're not sleeping). FWIW, I never suffered a loss but I still very occasionally feared the worst. I think it is natural every now and again for a parent to fear for their child. Just as long as they aren't the thoughts you're having most often.
:hug: Not long to go!
Kate, I hear you honey.
I think that these feelings are totally normal. I also have been having these worries. And I too am staying away from "unhelpful" sites and forums.
We haven't long to go and will have our bubbies in our arms very soon.
Hugs
Sue x
I was like that too.
I sometimes still get a bit this way.
It's kind of like you cant believe how lucky you are and you are worried it will run out.
LOL, well thats how it is for me.
It's like karma is going to get me for having such a beautiful, perfect bubs.
Its hard not to feel that way, esp on this site.
But I do remind myself that the numbers are skewed here, so many came here after suffering so much. I look at my BF and she has no idea how lucky we are, cause she hasnt met the people I have.
The everything is actually stacked in your favour.
I think sometimes, you need to step away to see that.
Enough of my rambling,
xxx
:hug: I was a bit like that too, suddenly there is so much at stake. I would tell myself that I was doing everything right, and if something did go wrong, there would be nothing I could do to prevent it, I had done and was doing all I could.
And then I would just push it from my mind, keep myself busy, remind myself that as MLM says, online statistics are skewed because people come here for support. And I just tried to be very kay serrah serrah, what will be will be, I've done all I can, what will happen will happen.
I think that this parenting thing is all about sighs of relief. Bub is born safe, sigh of relief. You make it to 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 6 months, 12 months, sighs of relief. They survive falls, accidents, close calls, sighs of relief....I suspect it's an ongoing thing. :hug:
Nelle is right its the mummy instinct coming through and the worry never stops, starts before the birth and every milestone afterwards is a relief....why do you think I am such a stresshead, the more kiddies I have the worse I get.
It will be fine, soon you will have that baby in your arms..you are probabablly getting very close, thats usually when it the fear etc reaches its peak.
As everyone else has said, it's very normal & doesn't stop when they arrive...
I worried heaps in the last few weeks before DD2 arrived, I just wanted her here so I knew she was ok.
I stayed away from the loss threads, lots of positive thinking, much like Nelle - what will be will be - it didn't fix it but it helped.
:hug: not long to go & your llittle one will be here :)
Thanks girls, i am trying to be all 'zen' but sometimes the fears come through. my post wasn't very fluid, but your replies expressed exactly my thoughts.
In less than a month, blackduckies, sue and i will all be holding little ones in our arms. now that's a nice thought.
i was embarassed about posting, but am now happy that i did cos at least i know i m not the only one stressing out a little now.
xx
Hey Kate, I think it's good to express these things, because it's all very normal, I just think that in a way there's a wider expectation that we're just supposed to be feeling all glowy & happy in anticipation, because it's such a happy event. Which it is, but it's the great unknown as well, and until things start to happen, it's hard to feel in control of what's to come. And I definitely find this scary, control freak that I am. FWIW, I've got no idea how I'm going to cope with a second, and even worse, how I'm possibly going to love it as much as I love my DS - which I know is just my hormonal, over-it, and super emotional pregnant brain being totally irrational, but it's not always so easy to just switch it off IYKWIM.
It does all come together though (at least that's what I'm telling myself), and my experience is that it's overwhelmingly better than you can possibly imagine beforehand, although definitely not always easy.
And the other thing is that for the most part, the stories & situations that need debriefing are the ones where things go wrong, where people aren't coping etc - when things are good, there's not nearly so much to write about, so you don't tend to see this side of things so much.
I think you'll be fine though, just relax (sleep) as much as you can in the next couple of weeks now that you're on Mat leave, and make the most of the remaining "couple" time you have :)
Hi Kate,
You're definitely not alone I was just saying to DH yesterday that I'm going to have a really hard time saying goodbye to my 2 yr old daughter when I have to go to the hospital because I'm worried something might happen. He reassures me but I remember feeling exactly the same way when I was booked in for my c-section with her. We have amazing modern medicine but things still go wrong all the time so it's always going to be scary. Not long to go now, I'm sure we'll be fine.
You are just a normal mum.
I get these too, before DS, i could objectivley watch news stories about children being hurth or dieing and now I tear up at the mear thought of it.
I just keep trying to remind myself that this is only the first of many of these worries I will have, he is now 2 1/2 and number 2 is on the way, but i found myself checking on him this morning because he wasn't coughing anymore (asthma)
As a mum I'm pretty sure the worrying starts when you first find out your pregnant and finishes when you yourself pass - hopefully at a very old age with lots of grandies & great grandies around you (which of course you will worry about just as equally as you have your own children) :wall:
:hug: I've been there every time.